Couch 172: Couch me if you can

I hate that response.

(((LT)))

Oh yes. Very standard (before he was consistently mean gggrrrrrrrrr

On the way to t's. Sitting in Walgreens parking lot so I don't get there early.

Couch mini-poll, because living with 2ex for years has apparently completely skewed my judgment of anger level:

Piaf said something “she [No. 3] disappointed you” that reminded me way too much of how other therapists have minimized the negative impact therapists can have on clients. So I slammed my pencil down on my puzzle book in anger—a very quick burst of anger, over as soon as my hand made contact with the book. Since the topic today was I was afraid I was turning into 2ex, I asked her how she would rank that anger on a scale of 1-10. Apparently that’s an 8. I would have put it at a 4 (2ex did stuff like that all the time). What would you all say? Scale of 1-10.

(For reference: according to her, a 9 is slamming a door. A 10 is a physical attack.)

Thanks hopefully I’ll get to read that story

A 9 is slamming the door? I would be arrested!

For me slamming my pencil onto my book would be about a 2.

I also have a skewed perception, so grain of salt, etc.

If you Google there are some .pdfs of it online—not going to link to respect intellectual property.

Probably 4 or 5, I wouldn’t think it would be 8

Hugs, Art, hope it goes well!

8 minutes...

Seems more like a 2 to me. 8?? How sensitive is she?

@@, something ex-MC said (so take with grain of salt) is that levels of anger are different for different people. So for me, who doesn't tend to express much anger, slamming a door might be a 9 on my anger scale. While it might only be like a 5 on H's, because he expresses more anger. I may be explaining it wrong. It's more that it would show I'm at a 9 level of anger, while for H would be a level 5.

This probably sounds pathetic but it’s been rather strange (in a really nice way) that people I’ve been working with who are rather quiet and who I thought either couldn’t stand me or didn’t really think much of me, have been sort of telling me heartfelt emotional stuff about how they’ll miss me and asking to remain in touch etc.

All along I’d sort of thought I didn’t really have their respect (for just my work related conpetence), let alone liking and I guess at least in some cases, it isn’t true.

My boss on the other hand has been entirely MIA these last two weeks except for one brief group call and apart from the that, the couple of times I bumped into him, it was super awkward and it’s like he couldn’t get away far enough from me — I’ve been feeling really hurt about it because I thought he actually liked me as a person but Blondie told me he’s acting like a rejected teenage boy (no offense to teenage boys) who can’t deal with his emotions after I said No to his counter-offer.

Ah, well.

What? That’s barely a 2.

I must say I’ve subjected Blondie to WAY WAY more anger (blistering rage, really) — I can only imagine what Piaf would’ve said in response to one of my tirades.

Yes. Something is going on, dunno what.

According to Piaf it gets an 8 because a) suddenness, b) violent motion, and c) noise.

She started out wavering between an 8 or a 9. When I heard a 9 was slamming a door...

LT, I see what you’re saying but I don’t actually get angry like that very often—I’ve just seen anger like that a lot.

Insufficient data to form a hypothesis.

I think her scale is...off. Not least because there’s a huge range of anger expression between a slammed door and a physical assault.

I have a skewed anger scale (I tend to read a 2 as an 8) but even I would read a slammed pencil as a 2.

They are wily. I will go find the story

It depends so much on the person.

The angriest I ever saw Lieutenant Columbo was when he poured a glass of wine on the lawn. I think he was homicidal.

I agree with this. Also see a slammed pencil as quite low--I mean, I've done that. That to me is mild frustration. I also see a much bigger spread between slammed door and physical assault that 1 point.

Incidentally, how angry do you think I was when I said, "Give me a knife and I'll cut your head off."

That's funny because I've started watching Columbo recently (airing it on Cozi starting with first season, which is awesome with all the 70s stuff. And Leslie Nielsen was in one!)

I also noted how he often says "marvelous," which is something my T says that no one else I know says.

She is quite the hothouse flower it sounds. the pencil and the door slam would be a 1 or two at most.