Couch 177: I Get a Strange Magic - ELO

In the world of small delights that can make one's day, I just discovered that my cheapo...er, inexpensive...Target t-shirt dress has pockets. I've been wearing it all day, and wish I'd known earlier because I could have put my keys in.

Hair- Echos, I'm in your camp. It's her hair (and her life), and protecting her ability to set her own boundaries about what she does with her own head (and life) is important.

So - good news, bad news! Well, maybe its all good news. Ive had a crush on this guy in my neighborhood - i would see him presumably going home for lunch while i was waiting for the bus to go to t. We would always say hi to each other. Hes got this crazy long white hair, a great smile, and i think he needs a permit for that 6-pack (abs). So - i go to the little store in my apartment complex, and hes behind the counter! So no more buying ice cream or cookies. But maybe there will be other "treats in store" for me?

Ah, I meant to reply to Echos' post earlier.

Echos -- yes, needless to say, kudos to you for supporting her choice.

I have a long, sordid history on the whole hair + parents situation but I'll spare you the gory details.

Suffice it to say that until she gets to a point where she can independently support her own decisions (pay for her haircut and say eff it to others), your supporting her choices (and not imposing any notions around gender) will be really really really huge for her (at the risk of projecting my stuff on to your situation etc).

There's something to be said for the confidence that is instilled in you by knowing that you have home -- or at least a parent as a staunch ally at home -- backing you up when you make choices (or even just deliberate over but ultimately don't) that won't always be easily understood and accepted in the world outside.

And, I'll say that the confidence that comes from that is, in fact, something that also makes it easier to convey to outsiders and gain acceptance.

So yeah, no matter how you look at it...... you're pretty much on a solid path.

Did you bat your eyelashes and ask him if he wants to come over and uhhh.......share the ice cream?

You want to start dating a hippie? Does he wear a manbun?

Yeah, not a fan of the manbun.

I'm on the fence about the man bun.

On the one hand, they're kind of bleh (to me), but I can't put my finger on why.

On the other hand, having had long hair for a pretty long period of my life (probably, to tie in to the other hair discussion, because I was forced to have short hair for much of my childhood) that kind of bun is pretty convenient when one's hair is in the way, and if we're talking gendered hair, why should gals get a pass on the messy bun?

I am not presuming anything (or I would have just assumed Lehar was a man’s name, which it’s not, according to the interwebs, except apparently it is). I am being polite and trying to make the dehumanizing process of applying for jobs a bit more human. The people involved are free to correct me when I write them.

While I am all about people being free to wear their hair however the hell they want regardless of biological sex/gender identity/whatever (and therefore believe, IMHO, that EM is doing some badass parenting with her kiddo), I have a strong personal distaste for the man bun.

I think it's a combo of a dislike of the aesthetic and its tendency to be accompanied by a sense of superiority/entitlement... and/or the fact that one of my med school mentors who caused me a lot of hurt sported a man bun.

See, I think the messy bun is sexy. I don’t find the manbun sexy.

Or while we’re at it the chin beard.

Eeeewwwwwwww.

Chin beard - oh you mean when it's just that little patch on the middle of the chin and not covering more of the face?

How do you feel about the neck beard?

Plus - where is hippie man bun guy going to fit in with your sister wives? And I don't think ATAT will give up ice cream

I think everyone should just get crew cuts.

Maybe it's something new in the church of unaluna? Hippie man bun guy joins sister wives and puts on an ice cream social?

Not me! My hair is finally starting to grow out from my last too-short cut .... I want it long again!

I can't stop texting the therapist. I feel like a rotten person.

Ummm....

No. Not a fan there, either. (With all the usual "to each his own" and "your mileage may vary" disclaimers.)

@@, I was more just realizing that I wish there were no gendered prefixes to address people, so not a comment on anything you've done. I recognized your dilemma. I just wish there weren't genders. I have no idea what a solution is for those times that require more formality, though. It just hit me that I suddenly really dislike the whole gender approach to being addressed.

I'm torn on facial hair. Unfortunately, I live somewhere where it seems to be requisite for men to have a beard. My therapist has a beard and I have no issues with it, though.

The Trustworthiness of Beards

Sorry—I am on edge and snappish these days. I think I need another gotta-get-out-of-the-country vacation like last winter break.

My son has a beard. I just noticed last night how full it's getting.... my Dad always had a beard, and he was really close to his grandpa, so I think it comes partly from that. H used to have a beard when our son was a baby, but it's been a long time since he's let one grow. I prefer that he doesn't have one.

Theres no man bun!!!
And no neck beards!!!

But we do now have access to our own candy store! And beer! And Champagna!

Eta - lol i bet he didnt know he was getting a hareem!