Couch 177: I Get a Strange Magic - ELO

I think you have to let exhankster be exhankster - she is mercurial. A free bird. A problem like maria - how do you hold a moon beam in your hand?
Plus - do you really want her when she is in her Nemo phase? Better to let her get that out of the way with someone else is my idea on it.

I'm also just starting to go every two weeks. Though given the bad week I had I'm shocked t doesn't want to see me sooner.

I have given up on Downton Abbey the green screen effects were awful along with everything else but one of. The cats enjoyed it. I hope the dog won a baftA he was excellent but wasn't allowed to explore his full acting potential

What scene was that?! I don't remember any lightsabre duels...

The close ups when they were riding horses or in cars.

I'm so sad. I saw my ob/gyn today and told her it was probably the last time I'd see her. She said she was really sad and she held my hand. She doesn't think it's a good time to leave since I had a breakdown just 2.5 weeks ago. She gave me a complaint form so I can tell the clinic why I'm leaving and maybe they might fix the problem. She did say that I can see her again when I get pregnant! So happy for that. But still, I'm crying. She was a good doctor.

You obviously have an eye for this, because I never noticed.

..... Oh my! Such... such... emotion, such feeling! Who are you and what did you do with stopdog?

Home from my session. Wow, I have not felt so very vulnerable in a long time. I felt like she was seeing my very heart and soul today. I felt like I absolutely wanted to crawl right out of my skin!! I told her how very vulnerable I was feeling, how uncomfortable it was, and she said stay in those feelings, she said "we'll tenderly hold them" or something. And we did, we sat in silence with our eyes closed for a couple minutes just letting my feelings be what they were. She was definitely her best "t" self today.

It all came out of working with my dreams from the past 2 weeks, mainly the 3 about her. She said there's so much stuff here do you want to come twice next week to make up for last week? but we couldn't make the logistics work so I said Thursday's fine, it's only a week this time anyway. Wow. I'm feeling rather therapy-hangover-y right now... but warm and loved at the same time...

OH and that's a funny thing right there! One of my dreams included me going into her office and her saying "It's warm in here. Are you warm?" and that was pretty much word for word what she actually SAID as soon as I sat down today, before i'd said anything but "hi".

eta: it was quite obvious to anybody that I didn't want to leave too (groan) after I stepped outside it was like my feet wouldn't move towards my car any farther so I fumbled around for a question to ask and what came out was "is that water I hear?" she said yes my neighbor has a fountain. I am such a freaking dork.....

I never got around to asking the questions I wanted to ask. I didn't know what to start with so I went with the most obvious which was the dreams since 3 were about her... we'll talk about them more next week and hopefully I'll get to my questions too...

I would appreciate hugs. I'm feeling awful. . My vague post is in the Dear T thread.

Sending hugs with an extra side of hugs I'm sorry you're feeling so awful.

That wasn't emotion.
It was hyperbole

Who says?

I especially appreciated the adjective mercurial. Usually people compare me to Uranus.

Really? I think you’re Venusian, Martial, Jovial, Saturnine, and uh...drat you, Neptune.

I was just teasing you....

I do. oh no i did not just say that. no i did not.

Hi couch..

Turns out mass on my mom’s liver is a tumor. Won’t know for sure if it is malignant or not until after biopsy that they are rushing. But doctor said it was very concerning

There is just so much more going on.. don’t have energy to type it all out. Turns out one of the reasons why I have such a hard time seeing t less ( like me trying once a month) is that he was the only person I could unload all my crap on. I have nobody else, and it’s not for lack of trying either.

I am sorry to hear about your mother - I am glad they are rushing so that you all will know for certain and can formulate a plan

I knew you were teasing in some ways. But you also see emotion in places I never would in a million years, so I thought clarification the better part of valor

I am watching Hart to Hart - added to its usual level of bad acting, they have Adam West, Dean Wormer (from animal house - I don't know the actor's name), and Martina Navratalova. It is excruciating to watch. And yet, like a train wreck, I can't turn it off.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, healed. sending healing thoughts.

Their acting made Freeway seem worthy of Shakespeare by comparison. And yet, I always had a thing for Robert Wagner...

My T just made me cry a little. We're supposed to do a phone check-in tomorrow and he said he'd email tonight to confirm a time. Part of his email: Hope you’re well! And thinking of you.

For some reason, the "thinking of you" part really touched me tonight.