[star68]

Hi everyone,

I am just about to start psychotherapy again but this time I am hoping to look for the most suitable one for my needs. My issues are bereavement (my mother died one and a half years ago) and siblings emotional problems.
Last time I had psychotherapy the type of therapy she was using is I think psychoanalytical therapy, I am not an expert but all I did is talk, she hardly interacted and I was talking and talking with hardly any words from her, aside for compassion and empathy. That type of therapy doesn't work very well with me. I like to talk and the therapist to make sense or not to my concerns, explain patterns of thinking and how can I find solutions. I am a very analytical person, I like to analyze everything and find an explanation of why things are the way they are. For example, I never bonded with my sisters, I am the youngest and my middle sister was really horrible to me, always put me down, shouted at me, never supported me, and reading in one of this psychology sites, I found the explanation. My parents had a very difficult relation ship because of financial problems, she wasn't happy with the way things were I suppose because she was five years older than me she was more aware of the situation so she was a survivor, and she was vented all her bottled anger, frustration and unhappiness at me. Just as simple as that it helped me comprehend the situation and it makes sense. My psychotherapist couldn't come up with a reflection like that, and she was very neutral most of the sessions, just listened.
What kind of therapy should I ask for to suit my needs?

Many thanks for reading my post.

[SlumberKitty]

I don't know what kind of therapy you should ask for but I hope that you find a kind that works well for you. ((hugs))

[downandlonely]

I haven't tried it myself, but I have heard good things about dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). It's supposed to help you change your thought patterns. You might want to look into it.

[SlumberKitty]

PS Welcome to PC

[RaineD]

For your sibling issues, I think you should find a therapist who is familiar with family systems theory (not internal family systems, just family systems theory advanced by Bowen).

For your bereavement issues, I think there are therapists who specialize in grief counseling. Therapists who utilize an existential framework may be helpful as well, depending on the source of your bereavement issues.

[stopdog]

I would start by asking if therapy is even needed. Qigong, yoga, co-dependent anon, etc and a grief group might get you where you want to be

[Ididitmyway]

I think, it's more about the therapist as a person than the type of therapy they practice that makes a difference. Psychoanalysis is practiced differently by different people. There are some practitioners like the ones you've described who just sit there and don't say much, but there are those who are more engaged and give you their perspective and explanations of why things are as they are. This applies to every kind of therapy. While therapy approaches are different, two different therapists can work with the same approach in drastically different ways or they may not follow their chosen approach closely at all, and so you'd get completely different experiences.

So, if I were you, I'd just ask each prospective therapist about how they work and would tell them what I need from them. Then pick the one who fits your requirements best.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would start by asking if therapy is even needed. Qigong, yoga, co-dependent anon, etc and a grief group might get you where you want to be

I agree with this. With therapy, you may get more than you bargained for.

Read the boards. Be informed.

[RaineD]

Therapy could be the best thing that's ever happened to you, or the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Or both.

[MRT6211]

CBT/DBT is what I would recommend for you if you want a more solutions-focused approach. I’m a very analytical person (a scientist), and psychoanalytic/psychodynamic therapy was awful for me. I’ve had a lot of success with DBT and CBT for problem like the ones that you describe. I would give that a shot, for sure. It’s very different than psychoanalytic.

Talking is the basis of resolving any issue.

[zoiecat]

I agree with the CBT/DBT approach. You might also look for someone who specializes in trauma or grief issues.

I would not do well with psychoanalytic either. Personally I think that is better for someone who just wants to work on general self-improvement or awareness.

Good luck to you.

[Rive.]

Originally Posted by star68

I like to talk and the therapist to make sense or not to my concerns, explain patterns of thinking and how can I find solutions. I am a very analytical person, I like to analyze everything and find an explanation of why things are the way they are.

In that case, a cognitive approach might work better for you e.g. CBT, REBT... These therapists (though therapists will vary in how they implement said approaches - so when you interview them, ask how they operate specifically) tend to analyse, 'challenge' etc. thought patterns and thought processes. That type of therapy might be your cup of tea.

[satsuma]

I also want to recommend schema therapy, it's a more in-depth therapy but based on CBT. It's very interactive and with clear goals. It's been very effective for me. It might depend what kinds of issues someone needs therapy for, but I'd recommend looking into it anyway.