[justbreathe1994]

I know the fact that I’m going to ask this is pretty immature and maybe not super constructive. However, all I can say is I think I’m just going to give into the urge anyway. I have been holding onto hope that maybe someday ex t will change her mind and be willing to reconnect and/or work with me again. For those who know what happened, do you think that would be totally out of the question/unrealistic? Do you think she’ll feel any different and we’d be able to reestablish some kind of trust? I imagine a year or two from now I will feel a lot less attached to her. This may allow me to work better with her (if I don’t feel so enmeshed) or it may just help me let go of her completely. At some point, I think it will be easier for me to let go of hope. Right now though it is helping me cope day by day.

[SlumberKitty]

Who knows what the future will bring. I think it is probably unlikely that your former T will change her mind and be willing to work with you again, but you never know...she may at some point reconnect and allow you some answers that would give you some closure. I do think with time that the need for connection with her will diminish some and it won't be as painful. The old saying, "Time heals all wounds..." I think there is some wise thinking in that. For now, just focus on one day at a time and focus on getting the support you need in other ways, from other people. Keep talking here on PC if you want to. ((((hugs)))) Kit.

My therapist dumped me ten years ago, and I still have hope that maybe some day we can reconnect. Its probably not realistic, but I still hope.
Anything is possible, I think.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Anything is possible. You just have to know when to draw the line and know it's no longer beneficial to you.

I don't think there is any chance that she will work with you again. How would she be able to make therapeutic sense of such a u-turn? It would be inconsistent and unsafe practice. People who are saying that anything is possible are not being realistic. I hope you can move beyond your pain, I would be hurt in your position. It seems unlikely that being kind to yourself will not involve moving backwards.

I think it’s healthier for you not to have any contact with your therapist.

You were abandoned and traumatized. I don’t like people who do that. I don’t think you like people who do that.

I was angry when something similar happened to me. I still am, and I am angry on your behalf for what happened to you. You are at bottom now, but I’m guessing that when your hurt starts to fade, you’re going to be angry too.

You are good enough to have a therapist who you can trust and connect with. I would try to direct your energies into the hope of having a similar feeling with someone who won’t treat you badly.

[crihb2000]

Hello,

I have been following this forum for awhile and decided to make an account just to answer this question. My ex-T and I also had an abrupt termination. Ours wasn't even in person, it was through text. But, even though it made me sad, I still went on with my life and reached out to another therapist from the past and ask her if she would be willing to take me as her client again (and of course, she said yes). I never heard back from my ex-T and never had a closure session, so I reached out to her to ask for a closure session. She ignored my text, but eventually texted me back 2 weeks over and scheduled our last final session. The closure session wasn't something I expected and I knew my ex-T is someone who never changes her mind when she has something set. That was her boundaries in session and in her personal life. But, in our last session, we were talking and I told her the real reason on why I wanted and needed a closure session. It was to thank her for all that she did for me even though we had to end our therapy together abruptly. After telling her something about myself, I could tell and sense she was so sad. She was silent and her tone of voice sounded sad and then she asked if she could hug me. We hugged (nothing new, we used to hug all the time), but this time, our hug was long and loving. Before I left her office, she told me that I could always talk to her and that if I needed her, she will be there for me and I can just call her. I was shocked because I knew she wasn't someone who would change her mind about anything. I didn't respond and just walked away. Even though I was pissed we ended abruptly, I still wrote her a goodbye letter to let her know how much she has helped me. I didn't expect a response back because most T do not respond back to letters from ex-clients. A month later, she reached out to me to tell me that if I wanted to come back to her for therapy, she would be willing to take me as her client and she thanked me for the letter I wrote for her. I was surprised she even reached out. I did not expect that and I did not expect her to tell me she would take me as her client again. But, I rejected because I already have a therapist who I love working with. I responded back to my ex-T to tell her no i won't be coming back and she responded with "I am here for you when or if you need me okay?". Awesome.

I am here to tell you anything could happen. I didn't expect my ex-T to reach out to me, but she did. But then, I also gave her the space that she needed and she gave me the space that I needed. And because of that, everything happened so naturally when we did contact each other again. There was no hard feelings and everything between us is good. And believe me, I missed her a lot when we terminated and I still miss her till this day even though I rejected her offer.

[Anne2.0]

No one can predict the future, even when it involves your own feelings. It may be that in a month or a year or whenever from now, you will have no desire for contact with your ex-T. It's probably safe to say that she won't contact you out of the blue, but she may be open to communication at some point in the future, as another poster here who had been terminated found out recently. It might be helpful to discuss this with your T and perhaps she would be willing or useful to communicate with your ex-T in ways that might help you bring some closure, again as another poster did.

[Borderline69]

It would likely be more useful to you to move forward and find a new T. Staying stuck and hoping for something that will probably never happen is wasting your time and energy. I dont know your story, and I'm not asking to hear about it, however it sounds like you are waiting for someone who has made a decision to leave and not come back. There is more than 1good T around, feel your way around and open up for options. The past is always better left in the past. If your past T wanted to invest themselves in you they would still be here today. Let go and I bet a great T will be waiting for you to find them. Good luck.