[justbreathe1994]

First of all, I’m not exactly sober right now, not that that discounts my reasons for posting.
For those of you who have followed my story, like all of it, do you think my ex T violated any ethics? I am just curious. BTW, I know what I did was wrong and I’m not asking this question to justify anything I did.

[feileacan]

Ethically, a T should not continue to see a person when she feels that she cannot work with them or be useful for them anymore. It would be unethical to continue to see the person in these circumstances.

You can be unhappy that your T was not able to tolerate all the stuff you put upon her but ethics do not and cannot say anything about how much a particular therapist can or cannot tolerate. This is personal judgement.

So, I think there's no real basis for suing your ex-therapist. Of course you can still do it anyway. But it just feeds the stigma related to borderline'ish people - that it's risky to work with them because if things don't work out then they might sue you on an arbitrary basis.

I think she was unethical in a moral sense.

IMO you committed a pretty serious boundary violation. That's how I would personally feel, and I think your T felt that way too. It would be unethical for her to continue to treat you if she no longer feels like she can help you.

You've asked a lot about whether your Ts actions were ethical or not. Do you feel your termination was ethical? What would a lawsuit accomplish? Do you want damages? Or are you trying to find a way to be heard or communicate with your past T?

I don't personally think you would be successful with a lawsuit.

I’m really sorry Justbreathe.

What happened to you was awful. Before spending time and money in a lawsuit, you may want to file an ethics report. For some people, having a board weigh in on what happened would help. I know a few others here have pursued similar avenues. Unfortunately, you could get stuck reliving the whole nightmare in front of investigators and there is a risk of feeling further violated and invalidated. Others here who have filed reports could probably provide the pros and cons.

Sometimes I fantasize about reporting my old therapist just so I can finally have the avenue to prove that I was “right”, but I still love her too much to do that. I also look at my own role in what happened and know that my ‘stuff’ contributed to my therapy failure. Personally, the risk of getting retraumatized and invalidated yet again is too high should things not go my way.

For me, it has been a process of accepting that things don’t work out sometimes, life isn’t fair, and I may never get closure. It is hard sitting with awful feelings and not being able to take action or get resolution with the one that helped cause it.

Best of luck in your healing.

Originally Posted by Wild at heart

I think she was unethical in a moral sense.

I agree with this.

Just from what was posted in other threads, I think the termination was poorly managed. Immediately cutting a highly dependent client off is traumatizing and cruel. I can think of a few other ways this situation could have been handled to make termination easier.

That said, I don’t think was happened was illegal or professionally unethical (per guidelines). However, none of the most painful things that have been done to me in my life were illegal. Laws don’t always dictate right or wrong.

Might filing a lawsuit be an attempt to gain control over the situation?

I never saw any evidence of a boundary violation, only driving on a public street.

Her actions didn't seem unethical to me, but the way the ethics are set up exonerates therapists from taking responsibility for anything that goes wrong including harm to the client, shield them from discomforts, and provide an excuse for taking the easy path rather than doing the more difficult work that the most competent Ts do.

[toomanycats]

No. I do not think you should sue her.

[ArtleyWilkins]

No, you should not sue her. While things might have been handled differently, it doesn’t seem she did anything that would be held up as an ethics violation.

[atisketatasket]

Another poster on here told me once something another poster had told her (we were both having trouble getting over a former therapist with loose boundaries): you can’t disengage by continuing to engage.

It’s one of the wisest things I’ve read on here. Don’t continue to engage. Just move on. It does get better.

[Taylor27]

What she did was unethical and i think you would have a very hard time suing her, she would probably make things worse for you. It's a tough one because she was wrong how she handled the driving by her house on a public street, that to me can be worked out, yet she choose to terminate you. I don't think it would turn out good for you if you went ahead to sue. Maybe talk it over with your t if you feel comfortable doing so. Hugs

[Myrto]

As to what your therapist did, yes I think the way she reacted was ridiculous and over the top. Was this unethical? Well frankly I think therapy is unethical at its core. I also think it's a good thing ultimately that she terminated with you, not for her benefit but for yours. She sounds like a huge baby. But of course you're hurt and that's normal. If you think it will bring you some relief to sue her, hey why not. I don't know whether you have a case since I don't know the rules in your country but I think it's always good to let therapists know they screwed up. They don't get to hear it enough imo.

[AllHeart]

What are her credentials? Look at the applicable code of ethics and see if she violated any of them. Also look at your state codes. Then you could file a complaint against her with your state board. The termination sounded unethical.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by justbreathe1994

First of all, I’m not exactly sober right now, not that that discounts my reasons for posting.
For those of you who have followed my story, like all of it, do you think my ex T violated any ethics? I am just curious. BTW, I know what I did was wrong and I’m not asking this question to justify anything I did.

First, I have never been hurt by a therapist other than by Ts death. So I admit that My judgement may be very clouded. I can completely understand the pain of very suddenly being cut off from a therapist. I also understand the wanting to prove a point. However in you case I am not sure suing will benefit you. One of the things T and I did frequently was to way the pros and cons but not just from tallying up both columns but also the possible impact. There may be more pros than cons of an action but if the cons have a higher impact and potential to fo more harm than good then we go with the con. Ecen of that is not really what I want.

[Anne2.0]

The TELL website has a good overview of civil litigation and the lawyer author's website has more information. Suing a Psychotherapist | TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

I doubt there is any harm done by seeking an appointment with a lawyer who specializes in therapist malpractice to see what your options are. The legal issues are more complex than whether or not she breached the standard of care (i.e. did something unethical) because you also have to prove causation, i.e. that it was her conduct that caused the harm. I think the sticking point may be that her defense would argue it was your conduct that caused the termination and therefore the harm. Your case would need an "expert" therapist to prove that termination under these circumstances was below the standard of care, not just the "wrong" thing to do.

I think the "should you sue" is more accurately stated as "do you really want to sue?" Even if you were to file a lawsuit yourself in your local court under state law, filing fees are often several hundred dollars. Like any lawsuit, your filings (and your therapist's response) are a matter of public record into perpetuity, and anyone can see them. Your therapist can file a response saying just about anything (confidentiality is waived by the lawsuit filing), information you have no control over), and many court records are now available online.

This is probably something you would want a lawyer for, and most malpractice attorneys take cases on contingency. You may have to pay for an initial consultation, but it might be worth it to see if a lawyer is willing to represent you and what it will take financially, emotionally, etc to file.

Originally Posted by Wild at heart

I think she was unethical in a moral sense.

I agree with you.

The reason I think it may not be unethical is the T may simply say she feared the client and so could not ethically continue the therapy or would cause the client harm. That seems to be a blanket reason that is used to justify a Ts actions.

Another example how the ethics work for the T:

T dilemma: it's too hard to work with this client, I want the easier clients. i suspected this towards the beginning when I took on the client, but needed the income from the client.T further rationalizes the client works full time so issues can't be too serious. A year into therapy, deeper issues are uncovered.

ethic reasoning to terminate: don't have the specialized skillset to continue to work with client

[Salmon77]

It sounds like she was within her rights to terminate your therapy. A lawsuit over it sounds like a waste of time and money. It is understandable that you feel hurt and angry, but I don't think this is a useful way to express that.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I agree with the other posters who say your ex-T was ethical. I do not think you should sue. I thought my ex-T was unethical and reported her to the board. They deemed she was ethical. Now that I got answers from ex-T, I understand the boards decision. Ex-T did abandon me, as your ex-T abandoned you. But as far as ethics, they were right to terminate.

[WishfulThinker66]

No, I don't believe so. From what I gather the inappropriateness went both ways.

I would seek mediation through more formal grounds. In your state there ought to be an organisation called the "College of Physicians and Surgeons" or similar name. It is the body to which all doctors must belong - and they have to answer to this body for all their actions. If you truly feel your therapist went beyond their bounds unprovoked then it is to this organisation you should approach. Submit a complaint. They are bound to assist you in doing this. They will investigate the complaint and in some cases even hold a court with witnesses and testifying. What you say cannot be held against you. Should your therapist not be a doctor they will have to belong to a similar organisation.

[precaryous]

I’ve tried looking back on your posts and, I’m sorry, I can’t find specifically what boundary you broke that may have caused T to terminate you. Did she give you a referral for other T’s?

Whether you are thinking of reporting her to the licensing board or whether you are thinking of filing a civil suit, I think one thing remains the same- can you prove her wrong-doing? Or will it be your word against hers? Cases are won by proving the client was harmed.

Yes, maybe she terminated you but why? If she was justified, filing any suit would be painful, fruitless, likely retraumatizing and would just keep you in a bad relationship with her.

I’m sorry you are going through such a rough time.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm not convinced that anything much can be profited by suing your Ex-T. I think the T was within the ethical guidelines given to T's to terminate, and it would be very difficult to prove otherwise. I think that this situation has been very hurtful and perhaps harmful to you but I think prolonging it by suing isn't going to make you happier, or healthier in the end. However, that is just my two cents. I hope you can eventually not be in so much pain about this. Kit.

[MRT6211]

I don’t personally think that you should sue. I tried pursuing a lawsuit against a former therapist of mine, and many lawyers acknowledged to me that what she did was very likely illegal, but the evidence is largely hearsay and those cases can very rarely be won by the client.
What I ended up doing with my ex-T was reporting her to the Office of Professional Discipline, and they are taking my claim seriously and investigating it. Will I get any monetary compensation out of it? No. But, I can make sure I’m doing my part to protect her future clients from similar misconduct, as she can be subjected to disciplinary action, if found guilty of misconduct. So, at least she might be held accountable for her actions. If where you live has something like that, it might be worth looking into.

[peacelizard]

If you were to go forward with this, what would you hope to gain? Whatever it is, think about it and ask yourself, "Is this going to give me some sense of closure or make me feel better in anyway? And for how long?"

Also, you would ultimately have to consult an attorney, but I would keep in mind that if a lawsuit were to happen, there's a good chance records would be subpoenaed and/or they would question the therapist.

[Rive.]

Her boundaries were violated. As such, she was within her rights to terminate.

I'm not sure how a lawsuit would help apart form bringing more heartache.

[justbreathe1994]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I was more talking about the whole grand scheme of our working being unethical, not just the handling of the termination. I doubt I will ever go that route and sue, given I probably don’t even have a case. I also understand our relationship and the “work” is too complicated to even put labels or try to dissect and figure out whether there was any actual wrongdoing.