[Eleny]

I just had a bad first therapy session and it made me feel so sad. All she did was talk and talk and go off on tangents, I told her how I was feeling and why I was feeling so low and she completely changed the subject and instead decided to tell me a story about a client she had years ago that has absolutely nothing to do with my situation and about a YouTube video she’s working on to do with sleep. It felt like such a waste of my time and money and some of the things she said actually caused me more pain. I think she talked about 85% of the session, I felt bad if I even tried to speak and eventually I just zoned out. I feel so down.

[Echos Myron redux]

Sorry she sucked so much. I had a similarly terrible first session once, and looking back I am grateful he showed me what a crap therapist he was straight away so I didn't waste any more time with him. It feels so disheartening though, and I understand how you're feeling. Keep going, the right T for you is out there.

[Eleny]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux

Sorry she sucked so much. I had a similarly terrible first session once, and looking back I am grateful he showed me what a crap therapist he was straight away so I didn't waste any more time with him. It feels so disheartening though, and I understand how you're feeling. Keep going, the right T for you is out there.

Thank you. I just didn’t feel heard at all. I was trying to explain why I empathised so much with my abusive ex boyfriend, I told her that deep down he’s a very vulnerable person and it hurts me to think he’s alone and has no friends. And she said “he’s a psycho who doesn’t deserve friends”, and that just broke my heart, because she wasn’t listening to what I was saying and I felt so much worse when she said that.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry the first session sucked. At least you know that's probably not the T for you, but I know how difficult and tiring finding a new T can be, but you are worth finding the T that is right for you! (((hugs))) Kit.

[nottrustin]

I am sorry that happened to you.

I had a very similar experience. She talked about herself: why she never felt like she didn't fit in at school, why she was in therapy in college, and why I'd she had to do it all over again she would go into psych nursing not social work. On question she asked me if is I ever thought of going into paych nursing since I am an office coordinator at a pscu hospital. A couple of times I tried to interject why I was there but she kept changing the subject. At the end she liked at me and said tell me in a sentance why your here. It was awful.

In the end though in talking to coworkers I realized it would have never worked. Instead I took a couple of months break and then found my current Emdr T. We work really well together

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by Eleny

Thank you. I just didn’t feel heard at all. I was trying to explain why I empathised so much with my abusive ex boyfriend, I told her that deep down he’s a very vulnerable person and it hurts me to think he’s alone and has no friends. And she said “he’s a psycho who doesn’t deserve friends”, and that just broke my heart, because she wasn’t listening to what I was saying and I felt so much worse when she said that.

That's hugely invalidating. Abusive relationships are complex and there's nothing unusual about having mixed feelings about an abusive ex. She sounds unskilled and unable to listen.

[Seelenna1982]

Oh dear! That sounds like a terrible session. I would be so put off by that too! Do you have the option to look for a different therapist? You could always try calling a few and having a quick chat on the phone before meeting. Sometimes you can gauge a better fit that way. Or at least have a few back and forth emails before you commit to a first session.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm really sorry--I'd definitely look for a new T. In the first session, they should be trying to learn about you as much as they can, not do most of the talking, aside from maybe explaining their therapeutic approach, etc. And labeling someone for whom you feel compassion a psycho isn't something a T should do...

[ArtleyWilkins]

I detest spending money on an appointment with any professional and leaving knowing it was a waste of my time and money. On the positive side, I'd rather know right away they are awful than to get weeks or months into it and then realize it.

[piggy momma]

Oh my. I'm sorry you had such a bad session. She doesn't sound like a therapist that would be empathetic to your situation. As others have said, maybe it's best you found out now and can save yourself more money, time, and grief.

Keep looking - there ARE good therapists out there, ones with whom you can build a good rapport and trust.

[mcl6136]

Oh good grief....you sound more empathetic than this T!!! I'm sorry that you wasted your time and effort and she didn't meet your needs at all.

I agree with the crowd of piglets There ARE good ones out there.

[possum220]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I agree with the crowd of piglets There ARE good ones out there.

Hope it was the first and last session with that T. You are the employer. Find some-one who will help you on the path to healing. There really are good ones out there that you will be able to connect to and in that connection find growth.

[growlycat]

Is this the therapist who talked over you in a phone interview? I’m so sorry you will probably end up with more of the same with this person. Any other therapists you are looking at?

[Mopey]

I can't believe the frauds out there charging $$ pretending to help people in trouble. When they haven't got a clue...

[Anne2.0]

I've had a number of bad first sessions, if you can call being there to "try out" a therapist. Many therapists are just not right for me. I've never felt matched up perfectly at a first session, but a sense that I could probably work with this person. I'd move on from a bad first session like you describe.

[starfishing]

Wow, this person sounds completely awful. Sorry you went through that! You deserve a lot of credit for recognizing so quickly that she was terrible. I hope you find someone good--you deserve way better than that idiot.

[MoxieDoxie]

Do you have other therapist to call and make an initial appointment with?

[seeker33]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience. We go to therapists to feel heard and expect them to listen and answer empathetically. That's their job isn't it? So it sucks a lot when they don't do it properly.

To look on the bright side... You've shown strength and intelligence when you saw this wasn't the right T for you. You made the right decision and practiced your assertivity! That's the way to go! Can you maybe look at this terrible session as a practical exercise in assertivity and setting boundaries? You'll also save money and time.

I wish you good luck in finding the best T!

[growlycat]

Do you think you will go back or seek a new t? I hope you find someone who is great at active listening.