The client before me ...

I usually feel bad for T or other clients because I use up the entire hour. When there is someone before me and they leave giving T more than 5 mins, I feel bad and wish I could be like them and leave on time. When I see someone waiting after me, I feel bad that I didn't give T time to do anything between sessions and I feel bad for the other client because of usually being right at the hour if not a min or 2 over. T tells me repeatedly that it is her job to manage the time. Still, leaving is hard for me. It has gotten better in that I hardly ever cry now as I am leaving (just because it is time to go).

I don't mind that my T has other clients as long as my hour is my hour and that I feel like she is there with me. I often wonder about other clients, why they are there, how my T is with them, and so on.

My T allows us to leave things in her office so when something is different I often wonder if I am seeing something of T or something of another client.

As far as tissue goes, it's the trash can, that is where the tissue goes. For me, I think I'd feel like, 'see, I'm not the only one that cries in session'. I know I'm not. Sometimes it feels like I cry a lot. I don't recall if I've seen much in the trash before. I think there has only been a few times I've left tissue there and not taken it with me. There is another trash can near the outer door and I often dispose of my tissue in that can.

oh, and T and I usually talk all the way up until I close her door behind me. It is small talk, wishing each other well and see you the next time type of statements.

On the very rare occasion I use a tissue, I take it home with me. I wouldn't dream of putting it in his bin. Don't know why. I'm usually still talking to him as I leave but there's never anyone there.

The only reason I might cringe if I saw a waste basket filled with used tissues in the T office is my moderate germ phobia

I used to always take my tissues home with me from ex-T's and ex-MC's because they had very inconveniently located trash cans. (Ex-MC's was under his desk.) I did that for a while out of habit with current T, then realized he has a trash can conveniently right by the door. It's wicker (with bag in it) and has a lid, so it's a bit awkward to pick the lid up and put my tissues in, as it's also generally the time I'd be handing him my credit card, but I've figured out how to make it work.

My first thought reading this: it suddenly occurs to me that I have absolutely no idea whether my therapist has a garbage can. I assume he does, but if so it's totally hidden away out of sight--maybe under his desk? So if I ever used tissues I'd be on my own to dispose of them, or he'd have to decide to pull the waste bin out. Though first I'd have to find the tissues too.

I very rarely see other clients exiting or entering these days. It turns out I have at least one close friend and two or three acquaintances who see or have seen my therapist, though. Once I confirmed that, I started wondering whether he's vigilant to keep our appointments separated, or if it's just luck that we've never run into one another.

I usually don't run into them. One time there was a guy also waiting and it turned out he thought he had an appointment but didn't. He was a jerk about it, so I felt better about it than I would have otherwise.

A girl I knew who was kind of in the same friend group was also seeing him. She and I also hooked up a few times, before and the time I found out we were seeing the same pdoc and therapist. I tried to avoid too many questions, but I was kind of relieved to find out she was no longer seeing him. Never mentioned it to him because there wouldn't really be a point.

I don't like the rare occasions when he runs a few minutes over with the person before me, though to be fair he has run over with me.

I think there's some jealousy or competitiveness there too, because I care as much about the other patients' impression of me as I do my impression of them. I kind of want them to be a bit jealous?

i know my t has a garbage can bc she pointed out once when i said i was nauseous ( out of anxiety). i told her i would never puke in it, that if i really was that nauseous, i'd run to the bathroom. i've never cried, so no tissues needed. though, it is across the room!

I admit that when I left session Sunday, when T had kept me over a few minutes, the younger woman waiting in the waiting room who stood up when I opened the door, presumably expecting T--I looked at her apologetically, but there was also this part of me that maybe wanted her to feel a little bit jealous, that he'd kept me over slightly. It's interesting, because on my normal therapy days, it's a teen (or early 20s?) boy or a married couple after me, and I don't feel that "wanting them to be jealous" thing with them. I think I just see a female (particularly a younger or more attractive one) as sort of competition in a way. I felt the same once when I saw a younger female who was dressed rather provocatively being walked out by ex-MC (his usual client before us was older woman and after us was a teen male).

Never cried but for some reason my nose always runs when I go in. I take my tissue home with me. And my used coffee cup! I've only seen someone else once, she was in bits so I guess that's why they went over. We then talked about what I felt when I saw that lol.

In fact it was only recently I learnt that for at least one of my sessions she has people before and after. She's a demon with the time keeping.

Why worry though? You have as much right to be there as anyone. Although it's difficult, i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to be reminded that I'm not the only one .

Also, it's the therapist's job to worry about that stuff.

" Although it's difficult, i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to be reminded that I'm not the only one ."

Agree with this. I've seen my doctor now interacting with a few patients (in public) and he is so caring. So it's him, it's how he is to everyone. It's not special to me.

While difficult I welcome it as it provides a check on the idealisation attachment and a salutary reminder that I need to build irl support while he's providing like the scaffolding to keep me up.

I'm going out on a limb here, but since it hasn't been said...
Discarding used tissues into an office waste basket is completely appropriate behavior. 🤧

This is no place to discuss logistics and generally accepted standards of behaviour. Take your filthy talk about completely appropriate this, that and the next thing and sling your hook.

What's next? My therapist should be allowed the autonomy of a personal life?!

It's loose talk like this which ruins lives and sinks ships.

First, T = therapist, but what's MC? My Counsellor?

I've never been jealous of my co-clients. I am the last appointment on Friday and never know what to say, so I feel bad that she's probably bored and wishing it was time to go home.

I thought about this thread today. I used two tissues and carried them with me out of the office and into the trash can in my car.

See? Some of us are RESPECTFUL.

I’ve given a lot of thought to ‘used’ & ‘disguarded’ tissues & the use, or not, of the said tissues since this thread first started. Clearly I have no life if I am procrastinating over tissues. However, although I’ve never seen used tissues in the waste basket in my t’s room (well why would I as I am his only client - ever) I never put mine in there. I have a bag full of used tissues which gets cleared out when I have nothing better to do! I feel better for sharing this now as I do believe it to be a very important aspect of therapy.

It would never occur to me to take used tissues out of the office. And I have never cared about my therapist's other clients. I guess I'm not as attached to mine as the rest of you are to yours.

I dont even want men blowing their noses around me. Women, okay. But men need to go to another room.

This. I've never actually used a tissue and I have no clue where the trash is. I've definitely never checked for used tissues. I'm well aware she has other clients because it takes forever and a day to get an appointment. I can't say I've given much thought to them though

I met my t in a residential treatment center... so for 4 years I lived with some of Ts other clients...there are some occasions where they bother me...I've discussed it with him. It is namely jealousy and thinking t cares about them, not me. I try to remind myself that t can care about more than one person at a time!! Seems like a pretty basic concept but my child brain does not compute lol

I don't find myself jealous of my T's other clients typically. I think it really helps that the vast majority of the ones I've seen are not young women. They are too different from me (at least outwardly) for me to feel threatened, I guess. There was one time when I felt a bit jealous when my T greeted a new client. I was in the waiting room waiting for my psychiatrist. I was jealous because T shook the new client's hand, and she hadn't shaken mine when we met. T has never touched me, and until I saw this interaction, I assumed she had a firm boundary about no touching. That reminds me - I do feel jealous when I go into the office to see my psychiatrist and I have to see T greet and go into her office with someone else. If I were set to see her that day, as well, I would not be bothered - it's that I have no claim to her time that day, and some other client does. During those times - and especially since my psychiatrist frequently runs late - I tend to stew in envy thinking about the other client being the focus of T's attention, while I am left in the waiting room and forgotten. I have many issues, but I don't usually fear abandonment the way many here do. However, when this happens, I do tend to feel abandoned.