What to Include in Report?

I’m sorry for all my posts these days. In my last post, it seemed like some people were irritated with me so I hope I’m not being annoying or coming across as overly-defensive in my threads. I really appreciate everyone’s opinions, even if they differ or I’m still stuck in my own.

I know I got some mixed opinions about whether I should report my ex T, with the majority of people saying I probably don’t have a case against her. I also don’t have much proof other than her voicemails (in which she does say “I love you... in that very appropriate way.”) and notes with the hearts on them. I still thought it might be beneficial to write a report, even though I don’t think I’d ever submit a complaint. My questions are for those who have been down this road before - what do I include? How long should it be? Is it okay if I don’t have proof of some of the things she did, like hang out in my room? Do I need specific examples of boundary violations to show she violated ethics, or is writing my subjective experience of how she encouraged my attachment enough?

If you want to write it as though it were an actual report, I’d do it as a narrative, bringing in exhibits/evidence when you have them and where they fit in. I’d save any subjective experience for a summary at the end.

I don’t think it’s a bad idea. I’ve composed partial reports about Nos. 2 and 3 even though I never filed a report about either.

Depending on who you're submitting your grievance to, they might have a word limit. When I filed my grievance with the board of psychology in my state, I wrote 4 pages, had it reviewed and revised several times. I went to send it... nope! Character limit. So I had to delete like 2/3 of my letter. However, I was allowed to attach files too, so I attached my original letter. Most of what I sent were emails. I submitted all of them and highlighted parts of interest. I used those parts as evidence in my letter.

Something I realized afterwards: less is more. I should have kept it concise and not send irrelevant emails. My sister went to court and discovered the same thing. So stick to the evidence and try to save your feelings for a separate part/paragraph.

That's my 2 cents anyways.

I've been down that road and I wrote an article of how to file a complaint
Therapy Consumer Guide - How to Present Your Case Most Effectively When Filing a Complaint
Hope this helps.

This may be a stupid question, but do I need evidence for it to be considered/taken seriously? She didn’t allow emails so I don’t have any of those and I’m not sure if heart notes are that “sufficient”?

You can make everything electronic - scan or photograph the heart notes, send the voicemails to text - having everything typed up in front of you should make it easier to evaluate - for you, or for a board.

No one knows what the board considers "sufficient". I don't really know what your case is about, that's why I didn't comment on your other threads. Outside of the context, heart notes from a therapist would not be considered a professional communication, but I am not sure if this would be enough to make a therapist face some serious consequences. Most likely, not. Again, everything depends on the context, which I am not familiar with.

Generally speaking, the more evidence you have, the greater there is a chance your complaint will be taken seriously, and, conversely, the less evidence you have, the less likely the board would proceed to investigate it.

Would anyone be willing to read it, or just read what I have so far?

Here is my report, as an example, I took out identifying details, but it should give you the gist:

*****TW: contains an account of my suicide attempt******

As a short summary, before I begin the complete account, I wanted to lay out that I am filing this complaint because, during a therapy session, I presented to Dr. ______ with serious suicidal ideation, and we both acknowledged that I was a danger to myself and needed to be hospitalized urgently. She ended up letting me go home to wait for a call from the hospital alone, and when I was not able to be admitted to the hospital, i followed through on my plan to attempt suicide. I very nearly died, and spent 10 days in the ICU at ________ Hospital. Dr. ________ never saw me again after that day, and would not own up to any possible mistakes. I believe she was negligent and did not act in accordance with New York State Mental Hygiene Law (9.46, specifically). I have voicemails that she left on my phone that may help to prove this, and I will send them with this e-mail.

Now, I will go into further details. On the morning of _________ at 9am, I saw Dr. ___________ at her office at ___________ for a therapy appointment. This was my third appointment that week, and 6th within the short 2 weeks that I participated in therapy with her. At that point in time, I was in extreme psychological distress, having come to her directly after a hospitalization, my third in three months, at _____________ Hospital. On the morning of __________ I presented to her with very serious active suicidal ideation, and agreed to go back to the hospital to receive treatment. I had told her that I had a plan to commit suicide by overdose, had intentions of carrying out that plan, and had the means to do so. I also told her that I had written a suicide note. I came to that therapy session with my bags packed, expecting to go straight to the hospital from there. During the appointment, Dr. _________ and I both agreed that I was an imminent danger to myself, and that I needed to be hospitalized that day, for my safety. We called __________ Hospital from her office, and they did an intake with me. They told us they would call me back later and tell me if I was able to be admitted there. This was nearing the end of the appointment, so Dr. ___________ told me I had a choice: I could either wait in the waiting room there by myself until ____________ called me back, or I could go home, wait, and call her when I knew if, and when, I was going to the hospital. I chose the second option and went home. While I’m a strong believer in patient autonomy, I don’t believe Dr. __________ acted in accordance with the law or the standard of care by letting me leave by myself and be unsupervised, as she knew I was presently a danger to myself. When I was at home and called back ____________ for a status update, they informed me that they were unable to admit me at this time. I became extremely emotionally distraught and called Dr. ________ repeatedly and left messages. Her answering machine said to press 1 for emergency, and I did that, but to no avail, because I still got her voicemail. In my panicked and psychologically dysregulated state, I made the very regrettable decision to try to end my life. I overdosed on many different medications and then laid there waiting for the effects to set in for probably about an hour. At that point in time, I was discovered by my roommate and rushed to _________ Hospital ER, where I began declining. My oxygen levels started to fall, I became nonresponsive, had a seizure, and needed to be intubated. I spent about 7 days in a coma, and then 3 additional days recovering in the ICU. Luckily, I made a full recovery. I estimate that I placed those calls and left those voicemails for Dr. ________ around 11am, although I don’t know the exact time. I do know for certain that she returned my calls and left me voicemail messages at 12:44pm and 12:52pm. At this point in time, I was already in the ________ ER and not fully conscious. I will include the complete transcript of these voicemails after this synopsis of events (and I will attach them to the e-mail I send this in). There are a few notable quotes within them, though, that I would like to point to, as I believe they show that she knew that I was a danger to myself before I left her office, and therefore did not respond in the appropriate way according to professional standards and the law. In the first voicemail, she said: “…It does sound like you need to be hospitalized today and I’m concerned that this is the second time I’ve tried to call you and that you were not answering your phone. I am in my office right now, I have my phone ringer on and I hope to hear from you very shortly. If I do not hear from you by 1 o’clock I will probably need to call the police to come and do a welfare check and help facilitate your admission today…” This was followed up by several important quotes in her second voicemail: “…It's very important that you are working together with me today to help make sure that you are safe, in that we find a place to admit you to the hospital…” “…we have to work together in these high-risk situations where you are feeling very suicidal....” “…I cannot be your therapist if you disappear after telling me that you want to die, so we need to work together…” I believe that all of this clearly demonstrates that she was very aware of the danger I was in but did not act appropriately or promptly enough. This endangered my life, and I am very lucky to be alive today. The only reason I am alive to write this is that other people intervened. Given, while it was my choices and my actions that did this, I believe it was her responsibility as my provider to protect me and not allow me to have those choices in the first place. I was not of sound psychological mind at the time to make any decisions regarding my own care. She did eventually call for that welfare check, but the police only found an empty house, and then had to track my phone, and that’s how she figured out that I was in the Emergency Room at ___________ Hospital. The next day, a Saturday, Dr. _________ called ___________ to check on my condition. The staff at the ICU gave the phone to my mother, and they had a conversation. She denied any wrongdoing during that conversation, because she said she had another patient, and that’s why she couldn’t stay with me. I believe there were many ways that Dr. _________ could have ensured my safety in that moment, regardless. She had a professional and legal responsibility to protect me, as she knew I was an imminent danger to myself. I am filing this complaint because I could not let this negligence go, and I believe that she should be educated in some way so that this doesn’t happen to anyone else in the future.
I apologize for the long-winded nature of this complaint, but I wanted to spare no details to make my account complete. Below, I have included the full transcript of the voicemails. I have highlighted the relevant parts, but I have included the entire transcript for the sake of completeness and context.

Transcript of voicemails:
[Due to the very specific nature of these and in the interest of maintaining some level of anonymity, I’m not including them here on this forum, but I included them in my report.]

I could take a look, if you want.

Thank you! I just sent it to you.

Like I've said before the Board of Psychology varies widely from state to state.

My process was as follows:

..broke down and told my pdoc the truth while I was inpatient

.. was basically gently coerced into filing a complaint with the Board

.. my complaint consisted of a few pages of my journal that I wrote in the hospital. It was a chronological timeline/narrative of all the events

.. my complaint also had over 200 emails from my former therapist attached. I had to print each one out

... the Board received my complaint and immediately sent an investigator to come speak with me. She interviewed me several times and we went thru everything I had wrote in my complaint

.. the board attempted to investigate former t but he was not compliant so they suspended his license to practice therapy

.. the Board took my desktop computer from my home to verify the validity of the email correspondence (make sure it wasn't fabricated by me)

.. couple months later the hearing date was set with the Board however former t settled with the board which meant his license was revoked permanently


Filing any sort of greivance complaint is going to require tangible evidence that points to someone's wrong doing. It is best to leave out your feelings in the complaint, the feelings are a given.

Thanks for the info. This is making me realize that I probably have nothing on my former T.

Well even then If you think it'd be helpful to write a complaint for your own healing and grieving process I would do it. If you're not gonna send an actual formal complaint to the board you can write whatever you need, might be cathartic

From what I've read online, it says that most things that get reported, don't get investigated so yes, I assume you need some evidence. Otherwise it's hearsay. I don't think hearts would be a thing, what if that's how she does notes to everyone in her life? Not just a you thing?

I thought you said in your last post, you didn't want to hurt her or do a report, so I'm wondering what changed?

From a lawyerly perspective: in the case where the harm is obvious as is the connection between what the therapist did and the harm, you don't need to spell this out. Like the example from the other poster where the therapist's behavior led to the ER. But that's not your situation.

It is up to the board to make the conclusion that she violated ethics and up to you to explain what happened and how it affected you. I don't think, on their face, that hearts and nice email messages, communicate what's wrong. It's clear she's not hitting on you and you're not claiming that. So I think you have to connect the dots between those things she said and did (and I'd avoid using labels like boundary violations) with the harmful outcome(s).

What do you have to lose if you file a complaint with the licensing board but they don’t feel you have a case?

Would filing a complaint help you?

Another thing to keep in mind for anyone who wants to report is that the therapist will submit the copies or the summary of your records to the board, which means that the board investigators and everyone connected to your case will read all the private details of your life that the therapist put in the records, some of which could be embarrassing and might reflect negatively on your credibility.

This, in and of itself, will not shift the board's judgment in the therapist's favor. The client's credibility or likability is not a factor in their decision making process because it is the therapist's, not the client's actions, that are under investigation and the subject of potential disciplinary actions. The client is not the focus of the board's attention, the therapist is.

But, in the process of investigating and evaluating your case, many people will read your records, so, if you are sensitive to this fact, you need to keep that in mind when filing a complaint. However, your therapy records will never become a public record, so you don't have to worry about that. The details of your case will go public if and when the whole process is complete and the board reaches the settlement with the therapist or if the therapist gets disciplined through the court system. But when the board makes the details of the case public, it uses a very generalized language and doesn't reveal the client's full name, only initials.

I would lose any hope I have left to ever reconnect with ex T (even if there is only a 1% chance). She would never want to talk to me if I filed a complaint.

I also think it would be pretty embarrassing if I thought I’d have a case against her, if the board didn’t feel I had one with my insufficient proof.

To me the question of whether to file a complaint comes down to 3 questions:
1. Did the t do something that hurt you?
2. Was the thing he/she did unethical?
3. Do you believe that he/she did it on purpose with the intent to hurt you?

#3 matters to me in a situation like this (NOT including situations of medical negligence, abuse, or physical injury). It might not matter to others.

**4** Actually, maybe this one is most important. If you were to only share the answer with yourself - in your head, where you don’t have to justify your feelings to anyone else - what is your one true purpose in filing this complaint? To prevent pain to others? To try to get back some dignity you feel was taken? To warn others that she is committing unethical or negligent practices? To keep yourself at the front of her mind? To be reimbursed for unethical services? To hurt and embarrass her because he has hurt and embarrassed you? Because you feel like you love her and long for her and you are looking for any fuel to keep the embers burning?

I looked at the complaints on the TELL website and kind of followed suit. Someone from TELL actually helped me with my report as well. The investigator on my open case mentioned to me a few times that my report was thorough and very well written. So, you might want to check out the TELL resources. I am also willing to help you if you like.

Thank you. My reasons for reporting her would be to a) prevent her from hurting anyone else and b) empower my own self. I don’t beleive it was intentional, but I do beleive she was negligent. I think she was looking out for her own interests and hurt me in the process.

Are you sure there is no sort of.. redaction process? Like something that would be basic but not damaging? I know with sexual assault they limit details like this when the complaints are against a professional like another doctor as well as personal information like.. if you had sexual assault charges against anyone else, if you would be considered "promiscuous" stuff like that. I always thought in these cases a therapist or doctor was limited to sharing what would only be shared with an insurance company, not a full patient record..but I could be wrong. In fact if I am wrong than thats f'd up because its probably one of the reasons people are afraid to file complaints or charges in the first place.

There are other ways to empower yourself

If she hurts anyone else, they can deal with it as they need to

Sometimes negligence happens.... you even said you don't think it was intentional, so I guess I'm still confused why you want to report her

And somewhere above you mentioned having hope of seeing her again, maybe hold on to that instead, try to make the best of your future and not do this, once you do, that option is gone.

I honestly don't think you have much of a case. I haven't seen anything that really jumps out as far as something they would investigate. It's your call, but I wouldn't.

Maybe journal about it or keep talking to your T about it.... those things could help you deal with the hurt

I think if one thinks they would find the act of reporting a therapist to be empowering then they should give it a try.