[krazibean]

something happened with me and T today. i feel so lost. The first half of the session was very very quiet. there were a lot of pauses, and extended silences. really we had nothing to say to each other. she asked me what i wanted to talk about today and i had nothing. more silence. she asked me again, "so there isn't anything you wanted to talk about today?" again, nothing. then she asked me, "do you think the reason you come here with nothing to talk about is because you email it all to me ahead of time?" bingo. whenever something happens, or whenever i feel lonely, or an event in my life happens, i email her. i give her detailed play by play of how im feeling and of what happened, so then, when i get into session, i know she already knows everything and she can ask me what she pleases. it is sorta my way out of re-experiencing things in session. she said i need to experience things there, so now i have to try NOT emailing her. i'm scared, i feel like she's pushing me away. but i know she's just trying to help me. she said that i have to learn to "sit with" my emotions at the time and hold them until i see her again, because someone will not always be there in the moment for me when things come up. but haven't some of you said that you call/email your T's and ask them to "hold" things, and they are fine with that??? i guess its different than actually replacing in session explaining. like, she told me i could email her and say things like, "tonight was tough, ask me about wednesday night next session." but not to go into detail. i just feel so much more comfortable when she already knows when i come in. but shes right, if she knew everything about her clients already before they came in then what would there be to talk about? which is exactly what happens, we don't have anything to talk about. this is hard. i don't know if i can do it. how do i get through this.... what if i need her comforting voice right then, do i have to "hold it" and not call her? like, normally right now i'd be emailing her all this. but i can't, i have to wait a whole week until i see her again?? UGH! help me guys...

[tulips30]

Maybe it's partly the "act" of typing it out and putting it in a kind of order that helps you when you e-mail her. I keep a daily journal in my laptop and type all of these things in there. That way, I can get it out of my system, re-read it and make some sense of it. Perhaps this might help you. Maybe you could print a copy each week and take it with you to your session to remind you of the things that have happened and you want to share with her.

tulips

[lhanson]

Tulips had a great idea.

My thoughts on this are that I think it's worth it to try and not email her. At least for one or two sessions and see how it feels. She is right about the fact that we can't always have a counselor to spill out our feelings out to, but on the other hand, that is why we build up support networks. Do you have family or friends you could talk with. You may not feel comfortable talking to them about everything, but it might help just to talk with them about some things. Another thing is that you should pat yourself on the back for writing out your feelings here. This seems like a great place to come and let out your feelings with plenty of people here eager to read and support you. Anyway, these are just some thoughts. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

[sunrise]

I write in my journal a lot and the journal "holds" my thoughts and feelings for me. I have only called my T a couple of times, usually about appointment changes. We do email but the exchanges are very brief. I do not email him long messages with my thoughts and feelings about problematic issues. That's all the good stuff I want to save for therapy! How about if you compose emails to your T, just as you usually would, but just don't send them. Instead, paste those never-sent emails into your journal. Right before your session, you can review all your emails to help you remember all that you have been through in the last week. Then you will arrive at therapy with tons of stuff to share. Easier said than done, I know.