Couch 191: The Lazy Caterer Couch

That word stood out for me as well, it's not the same thing. I haven't abandoned him but just decided where I am now- I'm ill and not ready for more therapy.

I haven't replied yet and most likely won't- because it will open the flood gates for me. He can take care of himself.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttieeeee no one is saying you need to frickin get over it already. You need as much time as you need.

Yesterday my T told me the only time she would ever leave the room is if she had to throw up. (this as in relation to me saying ex t 1 had walked out at one point)
That triggered me worse than anything, damn emetophobia!!!!

Wow, Jane. I am surprised that your T used that phrasing, presumably knowing that you experience emetophobia?

I've been wondering if I have that. I always thought I was just a germaphobe but I think it could be more related to this stuff. Unsure

RIGHT??? me too, I was so shocked she said that but then again I don't think she thought it through. Now I will be worrying about that.

Just wanted to say, fellow emetophobe here. So I get it. It sucks...She probably said it without thinking, like trying to say she'd never leave the room for anything other than an emergency.

you are probably right. for some reason, being emetophobic and telling people provokes them to tell their best vomit stories. ick.

Hi Couchies. Woke up with a migraine this morning. So no walk. Although I did "walk in place" for 10 minutes while catching a bit of the news after some of the worst of the migraine was over. I'll have to try to take a walk after work because I definitely didn't bring walking shoes with me. My Dad is going to fix my bike so I can bike to work. I'm definitely trying to lose some of the pounds that the darn AP put on me. I hope I can be at least partially successful. I'm worried about my cat, my older one, she seems to be losing weight. She's eating, and she's pooping, and she's peeing a lot. But she is getting skinnier. When I get my tax refund, I'm thinking to take her to the vet to just make sure she's okay. I'm not ready to lose her. HUGS Kit

Sending hugs to you and Older Kitty, Kit. Take care.

The Only Roald Dahl book I remember was The Enormous Crocodile. I don't remember if I liked it or not. I remember we read it a lot so I must have. I don't like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but I've only seen the Wilder one and never read the book.

Thanks LostOnTheTrail.

Having kids is so hard. Why would they want to be mean to each other? Wouldn't it be more fun just to play nicely together?

They get their money one way or the other. If he had a job wouldn’t they have ended up garnishing a percentage of his wages?

I ask the twin 2 year old boys that everyday at work. Usually their answer is to break out in a wrestling match where one will tackle the other to the floor and then sit on each other’s backs so they they can’t get up. Usually I have to jump in and rescue the one that’s laying on the floor. So I think the answer is: Siblings would rather fight. Honestly growing up I always got a rise out of fighting with my older sister while being very protective of the other one.

It's definitely hard. Mine are mostly decent to each other, but I think it's because they're 6 years apart. They can certainly piss each other off though.

Do you have any siblings? Anyone you have ever met that you just don't or always don't like?
There are tons of reasons why they don't just play nicely together.

My boss literally asked me if I made the credit card payment while she was out. I was like, yeah, do you think I would forget to make such an important payment? And she was like, I didn't say that. Me asking a question is not me questioning you. Me: huh? I feel underappreciated. And I think I'm in a bad mood. I went for a quick 10 minute walk on my break, despite being in loafers, just to get out in the sun, and hopefully clear my head. It didn't work well. I got some aspirin though which has helped take away the remainder of the migraine. Kit

On a happy note: I'm wearing socks with llamas on them. HUGS Kit

I do but I didn't live with them as a child.

My exasperation was really around the fact that they were playing a really lovely game together and having fun in each other's company, then one decided to deliberately knock the lollypop out of the other one's hand, sending it smashing to the ground. Cue lots of tears. There was literally no reason to do that as they had been enjoying the game they had been playing and it just spoilt things. I felt it would have been a lot easier and nicer to carry on playing and enjoying the game.

I don't think children think in those terms. They have an idea and they act on it, not even necessarily to be mean or to cause tears. I don't think they necessarily view it in the present as it would be nicer if we keep doing X rather than me doing this idea I just had.
There may be hindsight - that was not a great plan -but not present sight.
It is this sort thing that is how they learn I think. I remember playing with my sibling and then doing something that would cause him to cry (he easily cried) and my mother asking why I did it and I truly did not have an answer or certainly not one that was going to make sense to her. But it was not to make the little weenie cry. In fact, him crying and my mother reacting usually just led to me not playing with sibling and blaming him for the game stopping. We could have kept going if he had not been such a wuss sort of thing.
Puppies do it - they wrestle and play growl and then one gets too rough and the others stop the game = the puppy learns. Children learn cause and effect and so on in somewhat the same ways it seems to me. I worked at a preschool for a couple of years in college and watching the older ones not know stuff and how they established hierarchy and took on rolls was fascinating. I worked with the babies/toddlers so it was a little different. I did not have the patience for the 3-5 yr olds.

Yep. That's the exasperating part. Not their fault of course, but difficult to navigate in the course of everyday life and trying to keep things running smoothly.

ETA - what you have added about your interactions with your brother gives me food for thought actually. My eldest does often feel my youngest has spoilt it by being sensitive, even when it is the actions of my eldest that has interrupted things. It's a lot like the dynamic you describe sometimes.

I know cats hide good but we have been searching for Penny for an hour and cannot find her. H went outside earlier to walk down the street to meet our friend who came to visit and we think the door didn't latch and she got out. I've walked all over the neighborhood and h has searched the house. My heart is breaking.

My phone has been making this really annoying pinging noise the past few days. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from and it was driving me nuts. I've just noticed, however, the pinging is synchronous with people entering the chat room on this website.

Still not sure how to make it go away and it's driving me nuts.

Edit: Figured it out. Sweet silence.

That is perfect double talk on her part. Im impressed. And sooo glad im old and retired

Echos, if it's any consolation, they usually grow out of it. Not only do my teens mostly get along now, they sort of know how to repair things with one another after the moments when they don't get along.

It's hard for parents to navigate while they're learning where their edges are.