I'm so crushed. I asked my T if there was anyway I could talk to herfor 5-10 minutes during the week she was off. She pretty much shot that down as gently as possible mentioning how she's going to be with family and stuff. I should have seen that coming, but I felt so blind-sided by it. Once again a reminder that as a client, I'm not that important when it comes down to it. When work is off, I am no longer a concern. Ouch...
So now I am actively wanting to push away. Cancel all sessions, say forget it. I don't ever really get a straight answer when we as a system mention concerns about being able to see her after the new year once practicum starts. I feel so abandoned and so lost. One of my little ones left her a message saying to just forget tomorrow's session, something has come up that is too hard to cope with and we don't want to deal with it. The pain is too much sometimes... And my little ones just get completely heart broken when they feel they've been pushed away...
I give...

[Perna]

No one else's world revolves around us, just ours. That's the way is is with everyone, not just T's. I would ask the older ones to help with the littles, try to comfort them in their sadness and disappointment. It's not that you're not a "concern" when she's off, she needs to run her own life, take care of her own selves! Even an excellent mother has to have time away from her children, time of her own to regroup and regain her strength. She is human, only has so much strength, only so much to give and she's wise and doesn't want to overdo it and run out.

I would feel the same way, angel. I think its normal to want our therapists to be in a regular relationship. Sometimes we ascribe negative meaning to it if we find out its not. But ... if we are honest, its not a regular relationship. Some Ts have more boundaries than others. I personally feel that has less to do with us and more to do with their own comfort level. I think the same T could feel totally connected with you but still hold up a boundary. Maybe its actually something they don't trust in themselves.

Maybe you could write her a letter and mail them (expecting no return letter) but you could feel more like you are still comunicating. I'm so sorry you feel pushed away.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( stormyangels )))))))))

[RACEKA]

I wouldn't want to talk to my T just to let him know how I am. I think that would ruin my therapeutic relationship. He is not my friend, he is my therapist. I want my conversations to me needed. I want his voice to sound special. I only call him if I absolutely need to.

I am not his only client. What if everyone called him all the time just to chat? He wouldn't have a life. He needs time away also. My T has a family with small children. He does his job very well and is always there. He needs to be refreshed. He listens to very hard stuff all day.

I appreciate all he has done for me.

The call isn't a "just to chat" sort of thing. Having PTSD and MPD with small alters makes memories very difficult and abandonment issues run very high, especially with holidays. The call would be more to touch base and make sure she's "still there" so to speak.
Sorry -

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((stormyangels))))))))))))) I so understand what you mean. DID complicates things sometimes and it's hard for parts of the brain to know that someone is still safe without that connection, because of past experiences. My T does call and leave messages or emails during holidays and vacations, because she understands the chaos created by other parts of my brain. As my brain began to trust her and realize she was still her even after periods of time, parts needed that less. I'm so sorry your T has not offered that but I can also understand her need to separate from things.

If your T has not left yet, can you ask to borrow something of hers? A rock, picture, teddy bear or something similar can often help keep that connection until T returns.

I wish you the best while she is gone. Please PM me if you need extra support. I understand.

[Fuzzybear]

I understand ((((((((((((( stormyangels )))))))))))))