[pegasus]

Yeah, I feel like the pits. My anxiety levels are way too high and I had to call in sick to work. I had several sessions to do today but I can't do it. Overwhelmed by Christmas, it's the worst time for me. I feel ill. I rang T and he said it's only one day! I have been filling in for everyone else and running around like a headless chicken. Now I need to take a day off. I feel bad for letting them down.

And I have so much to do and no time to do it all in. I hate Christmas. And I want my T right now!

And I'm sat here in front of this screen when I should be doing stuff but I can't, too yucky. And I'm letting people down.

I felt I was under a lot of pressure at work last week, and at home I have not even started the Christmas thing. I want to put the Christmas cards in the bin! The house is a tip and my stomach is churning round and round. T said do some relaxation! I don't have time.

[jacq10]

((((((((Pegasus)))))))))
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so yucky But good for you for taking the day off. Sometimes we need to do things for ourselves every once and a while. It's not selfish, it's good self-care. And you deserve some good care, so try to rest up, and take your T's advice and relax a little bit. It doesn't necessarily have to take a long time, just sit down with a book for an hour, or watch a movie, take a bath. Something that is just for you, and that you enjoy doing. I'm sure after you take some time for you, you'll be much more motivated to do things you have to do around the house (or thats the plan anyhow! )
Christmas is a hard time ... but if we can just try and think of it on a day-to-day basis, it makes things a little easier to handle.
Take good care
Jacq

[starfishblue]

Hi Pegasus - we must be riding the same wave. I feel yucky too and also called in sick today. I need to regroup for me. I needed not to let myself down and take care of me first. Christmas! Ugh! I celebrate differently than the rest of the world - I don't do presents, or decorations, or anything - it is too overwhelming for me. I hope it all gets better for you. I wish you peace.

[pegasus]

(((((((( jacq )))))))) Thanks for your reply.

Well, I still feel bad I couldn't go to work today but to be honest I really couldn't. But I haven't had any time off since January and I am a human being. Christmas stinks.

I have managed to do some stuff here at home and I have even started the dreaded Christmas cards so I'm not a complete dead-loss.

[pegasus]

Thanks starfish, I get bombarded with yucky memories at this time of year. T has told me to not take on extra work for now, just to do the contracted hours, and no overtime but I know what I am like and will probably take on way too much.

I'm hoping to go back to work tomorrow but I'm not going to be able to if I still feel like this.

[Perna]

I moved my computer this morning so I wouldn't use it; finished putting all my names/addresses into my address book (from when I moved 2 years ago :-) and finished my Christmas cards. Then I worked at and finished ordering all my Christmas presents online. My 2 favorite catalogs this year are:

What On Earth: http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/

and, Hearth Song, for good kids gifts: http://www.hearthsong.com/

Can you make a list of 3-5 things to do and do them then remake the list? I started a list for the rest of the week, grocery shopping, etc. and getting all that stuff out of my head has helped my anxiety a whole lot.

[starfishblue]

I get yucky memories too - this time of year and other times of year. I don't necessarily deal with the yucky times all that well, but I guess I kinda accepted they could happen, and when they do I do what I can to help me - and if that means staying home, I do. Just taking one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Hope you are feeling better.

[pegasus]

Perna! You sound very organized!

Thanks, starfishblue for your reply.

I have spent the day trying not to use my brain! Managed to do some cards and looked through umpteen catalogues, so I have made a start on all that Xmas yuck.

I still feel shaky, my stomach is churning and I can't eat a sausage but I am determined to go back to work tomorrow.

T spent ages on the phone with me this morning while I moaned and groaned about everything, mainly feeling bad about letting work down but if I'm not fit enough to do the sessions then I'm taking care of me and everyone else right?

Anyway, I'm hoping I have given my brain enough rest and will be feeling a bit better tomorrow.

Thanks all.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( pegasus )))))))))))

[pegasus]

Thanks for the hug Fuzzy.

[sunrise]

Hang in there Pegasus. Just drop the cards this year if it is too much. I have not done cards for about 5 years because I've been too depressed. But this year I am thinking of doing them. Just try to drop the non-essential stuff. Catalog shopping--great idea. Another idea is to just go to one store and promise yourself you will do all your shopping in just that one place. Do not leave until you have something for everyone. That way you don't waste your time driving from place to place.

It's so great you have your T for support and you talk on the phone between sessions. What would we do without our T's?

Perna, I shop from Hearth Song too!

[pegasus]

Thanks sunrise

Yeah, T did say it's not the end of the world if I don't get everything done but I was in a real bad state this morning and couldn't think straight at all.

I did ask T if he could come over to my place!

[pegasus]

Well, I managed to get some sleep last night so that's good but my stomach is churning round and I can't think straight again.

Work has just rang me to see if I'm coming today, but also said there is nobody to cover me, so I couldn't really say no. It's only an hour, I can put on my happy smiling face and get through that somehow.

I really need to speak to T, but surely I can hang on till Thursday, we can do this! Trying desperately to be positive.