Dear T: I really need to tell you something XL

Therapists follow pt barnum's philosophy it seems to me.

I so wish you were here this week. I am so stressed about my son's living situation again. It comes in waves. Sometimes I'm fine, then I'm stressed. My energy is all out of whack and I fell again today while out walking. Ugh. I can't wait til they are completely done with that apartment and this situation.

I don't actually particularly want to see you today. But I'm tired and things are bad idk. Today's another one of those days when I wish I could just get a hug instead of therapy. Do you ever wish you could hug me?

Feeling like my feet are doing their own thing at the moment. I'm way too far in my head.

I’m experiencing a big yo-yo of emotions in anticipation of seeing you on Wednesday. Wondering if I’ll feel a sense of relief, calm and closeness or if you’ll kick me out saying this isn’t working.

That was okay I guess. I seem to be less attached to you lately. I think because I'm getting my need for intimacy and approval met elsewhere now?
P.S. I recognized your car, as I'm sure you know. I may have been showing off a little when I took that turn a bit faster and tighter than I needed to. Were you watching? Did I look cool? At least I didn't screw up the shifting this time.

ExT I have a session with the new T on Thursday I don't want you to be the focus of things but I feel I will do more than little whining about you. Now the time is near I don't really want to go but want to go back to you the familiar even if it was a bit spontaneous and random and scary with you.

I am mad tonight that we only meet 3 times this week, and will have a 4 day weekend. I want to ask you if we can have a phone session on Friday.

When you said December, was that some kind of way of saying that maybe my fantasy is ok and maybe could happen. You know it won't be good for me to stay like this until December. It feels way too much like you are doing this just for me. I mean, it's cool if you still need the space for you and we keep using the space. But December seems out there. Also, did they ship your shelving via covered wagon? Sigh. Can we meet upstairs today so it wouldn't be too weird to get a puzzle piece?

Just 1 day, 18 hours, 54 minutes and 4 seconds to go...

Please email me back already. The wait is torture.

Dear R (backup T),
Nervous to see you today. I know I had a session with you once before, but it was over the phone. Think I'm also nervous about my reaction to be right next to T's office but not seeing him. Wonder if you're the one keeping his fish? I imagine he would have said if so, as he knows I'm seeing you. Not sure what I'll end up talking about--I'm sure some will be about the stress of the past few days, like stuff with the house and H. Maybe a bit about D. But I imagine I may also talk about missing T and possibly stuff about him? I know I could talk about drinking, as addiction is one of your areas of expertise, but this is the wrong week to target that and I don't want to just feel worse about things. It's not that I have a shortage of things to talk about--it's just figuring out the best way to use this 55 minutes (which you list as session time on your site--yay!) I guess I'll just see what comes out when I start talking. And I cried on the phone session--wonder if I"ll cry in front of you, too?
--LT

I hope you are enjoying your vacation! I started a new afghan last night and also found a book about shadow work that I'm reading so all is well. I got past the stress I had been feeling.

Dear T,
Not sure if being in your office today made me feel more connected to you or made me miss you more? Backup T was definitely helpful though. Please return safely from your trip.

Love,
LT

I do whatever I want!

It’s ok you never replied. It doesn’t really matter.

Sorry I annoyed you.

If touch is one of the basics of connecting to others, as a child that didn't get kind touching, why can't it be part of therapy? Why can't you talk about it? Are you really here?

Do you think were nearing the end now...
Because I think....maybe. we are. Naturally. I'm ambivalent

A decade is a long time