Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

ScarletPimpernel · May 15, 2019, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

You have Sheltiie's right? Is your dads dog much bigger? Is there a way to put a barrier say in a hallway and contain your fathers dog? Or have rules regarding which dogs go where? I have no idea how big your apartments are.

Yes. I have 4 Shelties. My dad's dog is a Malamute. We could put up a baby gate.

The apartment we agreed on was 1200sqft. He wants an apartment/house that's 1600sqft.

Omers · May 15, 2019, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Yes. I have 4 Shelties. My dad's dog is a Malamute. We could put up a baby gate.

The apartment we agreed on was 1200sqft. He wants an apartment/house that's 1600sqft.

I live in a house with 5 indoor dogs and two indoor/outdoor dogs. Not all of them get along. IMO this is just an excuse. An extra 400saft isn’t going to make or break dogs getting along. Layout would be my first concern not size. My house is big but the layout is crappy for keeping critters separated. It also depends on the dedication of everyone in the house which sounds like that may be an ongoing issue.

WarmFuzzySocks · May 15, 2019, 10:10 PM

NP, I was thinking of you this afternoon. Hope your session went ok.

May 15, 2019, 10:20 PM

My stomach audibly growled when I read the couch title. I love cinnamon buns!

May 15, 2019, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Ack. I’m starting to feel nervous about seeing my parents. I haven’t been to my parents’ home for nearly two years now. And I’ve just told my therapist about some of the weirder aspects of our relationship so I’m feeling all raw and ashamed and simultaneously like I have betrayed my parents by telling him. Furthermore, I’m afraid of what will happen if I lose my grip on stability while I’m home with them. Ack.

Even though you feel you were disloyal to them, all you did was tell your therapist about your relationship with your parents.

I struggled with feeling I'm betraying my parents by talking about them in therapy, and my therapist always said the above.

As for losing your stability, I hear ya. I hope you'll maintain it if it'll keep you safe.

I had a screaming match with my father a month or so ago after a cruel joke he made: 3 minutes of me screaming at the top of my lungs, and I even screamed "F(the full word) you!". T was "sadistically pleased" (her words) and felt it had been a long time in coming lol.

NP_Complete · May 15, 2019, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

NP, I was thinking of you this afternoon. Hope your session went ok.

It was rough. We had a serious period of misattunement because he didn't hear what I said and it happened to be the most important part. He kept saying he still didn't understand what had happened when I had just told him and I got extremely flustered and my walls went up. Finally, we got on the same page that he hadn't heard that one phrase, but my walls were fully up at that point so I'm still not sure how I feel about all this.

NP_Complete · May 15, 2019, 10:55 PM

Okay, I'm talking about

Possible trigger:

an incident of non-consensual sex/sexual assault/however you want to label it.

He said that they're taught not to label things like this because the client may not see it that way. He said that the first time you tell someone this kind of thing, it's important how the therapist reacts. (I'm paraphrasing with great liberty because my mind was a jumble today.) He said that if it goes wrong, the client can feel like the thing isn't important. (I wish I could remember what he actually said here because I feel like it's important.) I told him that, yeah, when I first told him, I felt like he didn't think it was that big of a deal. I hope that doesn't make him feel bad. We barely knew each other back then, and it had an impact, but I'm not telling him all this to blame him.

unaluna · May 15, 2019, 11:14 PM

QM - you deserve a gluten free cinnamon roll for that! Holy moly!

I once told my mother she was being a ***** (talking about the way she was acting towards her gf), which i didnt think i was outright CALLING her a *****? I thought there was a semantic difference? But she didnt see it that way, unfortunately!

But boy! I bet that put some hair on your chest! An expression that means, Like, made a man out of you. But its ALWAYS been one of my personal favorite expressions - truth will out!

atisketatasket · May 15, 2019, 11:40 PM

New cat likes gf peach pie.

She also feels it unfair junior cat gets to be a measure of wealth. So she is now a measure of weight. A new cat is 8.5 lbs.

So a ton is 235.29 new cats. I weigh about 17 1/2 new cats. Etc.

May 16, 2019, 12:43 AM

Hi QM

Could I have some pocketriders for my meeting tomorrow with my gp and exT? It's in about 16 hours and I noticed I have started hyperventilating. Thanks
I don't know what he means by support structures so I guess we will see. I have already told him I don't think they will be helpful.

May 16, 2019, 02:40 AM

Thanks folks. I have given myself a headache because i was clenching my teeth so hard, but I didn't even notice. I can't even make myself go to my art class even though we are learning inks tonight. And inking a cockatoo my favourite bird.

May 16, 2019, 03:15 AM

I'll hop in, bcm. Sorry you've got a headache.

I'm laying here unable to sleep again. Melatonin allowed about 4-5 hours of sleep but now I'm awake again and can't shut off my stupid brain and it's 1 am here. I wish I could take a warm bath or go swimming but I'm not allowed yet. Maybe I'll just get up and cook a frozen pizza. I don't know what to do with myself when I can't sleep and can't use my normal sleep inducers.

LonesomeTonight · May 16, 2019, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Okay, I'm talking about

Possible trigger:

an incident of non-consensual sex/sexual assault/however you want to label it.

He said that they're taught not to label things like this because the client may not see it that way. He said that the first time you tell someone this kind of thing, it's important how the therapist reacts. (I'm paraphrasing with great liberty because my mind was a jumble today.) He said that if it goes wrong, the client can feel like the thing isn't important. (I wish I could remember what he actually said here because I feel like it's important.) I told him that, yeah, when I first told him, I felt like he didn't think it was that big of a deal. I hope that doesn't make him feel bad. We barely knew each other back then, and it had an impact, but I'm not telling him all this to blame him.

I had something similar happen with my T, maybe 6 months ago?

Possible trigger:

I told him about something that happened in college that was also sort of nonconsensual sex/sexual assault. And I was unsure how to classify it, if it really "counted" as that. I wanted T to be like, "Of course it was sexual assault, that was really wrong what he did." Like...for him to be protective and angry on my behalf. But instead, just like with you, he didn't label it. I told him either in an email or next session that it upset me that he hadn't. And he said something similar to your T, that he wouldn't want to label it because it could change how I view it. And that could negatively affect me. That it's how I view it that's important. He did say that what the guy did wasn't OK, and I think I just needed to hear that.

So I think that must just be how they're trained. I'm sorry it was such a difficult session (the one yesterday).

LonesomeTonight · May 16, 2019, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Hi QM

Could I have some pocketriders for my meeting tomorrow with my gp and exT? It's in about 16 hours and I noticed I have started hyperventilating. Thanks
I don't know what he means by support structures so I guess we will see. I have already told him I don't think they will be helpful.

I'll hop in. Support structures could just mean, say, friends or family that you can talk to, coping mechanisms (deep breathing, meditation, forms of distraction), the art classes you take, etc. Wouldn't necessarily have to be a T, I don't think. I hope it goes well--I'd be really stressed out, too.

Omers · May 16, 2019, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Okay, I'm talking about

Possible trigger:

an incident of non-consensual sex/sexual assault/however you want to label it.

He said that they're taught not to label things like this because the client may not see it that way. He said that the first time you tell someone this kind of thing, it's important how the therapist reacts. (I'm paraphrasing with great liberty because my mind was a jumble today.) He said that if it goes wrong, the client can feel like the thing isn't important. (I wish I could remember what he actually said here because I feel like it's important.) I told him that, yeah, when I first told him, I felt like he didn't think it was that big of a deal. I hope that doesn't make him feel bad. We barely knew each other back then, and it had an impact, but I'm not telling him all this to blame him.

I’m sorry Np. My T might not put a label on it but he would be very clear about his emotions on it and it would not be pretty. But, given the toxic nature of my relationship with H my T has asked several times about this kind of thing. I also had a T not get a different but similar situation. It totally ruined our trust and I ended up having to move on... but now I am happy I did because I eventually found awesome T.

Omers · May 16, 2019, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Hi QM

Could I have some pocketriders for my meeting tomorrow with my gp and exT? It's in about 16 hours and I noticed I have started hyperventilating. Thanks
I don't know what he means by support structures so I guess we will see. I have already told him I don't think they will be helpful.

I’m in! Remember to breathe.

Lemoncake · May 16, 2019, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Okay, I'm talking about

Possible trigger:

an incident of non-consensual sex/sexual assault/however you want to label it.

He said that they're taught not to label things like this because the client may not see it that way. He said that the first time you tell someone this kind of thing, it's important how the therapist reacts. (I'm paraphrasing with great liberty because my mind was a jumble today.) He said that if it goes wrong, the client can feel like the thing isn't important. (I wish I could remember what he actually said here because I feel like it's important.) I told him that, yeah, when I first told him, I felt like he didn't think it was that big of a deal. I hope that doesn't make him feel bad. We barely knew each other back then, and it had an impact, but I'm not telling him all this to blame him.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. T's don't get it right all the time. I don't think you're looking to blame him, but it's still worth exploring with him his reaction and it's impact on you.

Lemoncake · May 16, 2019, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

QM - you deserve a gluten free cinnamon roll for that! Holy moly!

I once told my mother she was being a ***** (talking about the way she was acting towards her gf), which i didnt think i was outright CALLING her a *****? I thought there was a semantic difference? But she didnt see it that way, unfortunately!

But boy! I bet that put some hair on your chest! An expression that means, Like, made a man out of you. But its ALWAYS been one of my personal favorite expressions - truth will out!

Lol I would have thought there's a difference too.

Lemoncake · May 16, 2019, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Hi QM

Could I have some pocketriders for my meeting tomorrow with my gp and exT? It's in about 16 hours and I noticed I have started hyperventilating. Thanks
I don't know what he means by support structures so I guess we will see. I have already told him I don't think they will be helpful.

Maybe you could also take a sheet with bullet points of the things you want to say.

+1

Lemoncake · May 16, 2019, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I'll hop in, bcm. Sorry you've got a headache.

I'm laying here unable to sleep again. Melatonin allowed about 4-5 hours of sleep but now I'm awake again and can't shut off my stupid brain and it's 1 am here. I wish I could take a warm bath or go swimming but I'm not allowed yet. Maybe I'll just get up and cook a frozen pizza. I don't know what to do with myself when I can't sleep and can't use my normal sleep inducers.

Dumb question, but are you taking your medication at roughly the same time each day?

At the massage place I go to they wet a towel in hot water and it feels really nice just on the skin. Maybe you could try that as a bath alternative?

Perhaps use to the time to read if you can.

unaluna · May 16, 2019, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

New cat likes gf peach pie.

She also feels it unfair junior cat gets to be a measure of wealth. So she is now a measure of weight. A new cat is 8.5 lbs.

So a ton is 235.29 new cats. I weigh about 17 1/2 new cats. Etc.

Not if she keeps eating peach pie!

Lemoncake · May 16, 2019, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Not if she keeps eating peach pie!

This 100%!

The vet had Belle on a diet- with special (££) cat food. She lost half a kilo then just put the weight back on again.

atisketatasket · May 16, 2019, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I'll hop in, bcm. Sorry you've got a headache.

I'm laying here unable to sleep again. Melatonin allowed about 4-5 hours of sleep but now I'm awake again and can't shut off my stupid brain and it's 1 am here. I wish I could take a warm bath or go swimming but I'm not allowed yet. Maybe I'll just get up and cook a frozen pizza. I don't know what to do with myself when I can't sleep and can't use my normal sleep inducers.

I read when I can’t sleep. Something boring preferably, and not on a screen. In fact looking at screens usually wakes me up more.