Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

May 22, 2019, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

They probably won’t need all of that info or even care. You won’t be working for the DOD yourself so you won’t need a super intensive check for security clearances. Could it be that his not-super-specific position just means he had to run his own security check for household employees as a formality? I’m pretty sure if it was something super extensive/intrusive they’d have to inform you what they'd be looking at.

That could be a requirement for him to have to run them for household employees. They said they did one on their last nanny and nothing came up. So I guess your right-it’s probably not super extensive.

It’s out of my hands. They have a picture of my license.
If they don’t like anything they see on the search- then they can just tell me not to come to the interview Tuesday. (If the check is back by then)

atisketatasket · May 22, 2019, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

My stupid brain and anxiety get the best of me at times.

Another way to look at it is that they're very serious about you. No one requests background checks at the federal level lightly, I would think.

May 22, 2019, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Another way to look at it is that they're very serious about you. No one requests background checks at the federal level lightly, I would think.

I really liked her on the phone yesterday. She was so kind. Really loves her kids. She said “We are a laid back family and we aren’t demanding. I just want someone to love my kids and keep them safe. We want the person we choose to become part of our family”

I guess I just don’t want anything to mess up my chances of being in the running to get it.

I just took Unisome. I should sleep soon before it overrides.

May 22, 2019, 08:24 PM

Reason why I didn't hear from the acute care was because I wasn't deemed unsafe for a psychiatric review and they recommended to my gp to have a private pdoc review but none are cheap enough then they suggested a Telehealth review, how would that work? Apparently on skype, they wouldn't have my notes I don't think and I have lost the letter that has all the meds I have reactions to.

JaneTennison1 · May 22, 2019, 08:28 PM

and we are on the barf cycle again. To make it worse I had a fight with T tonight. I forgot how full of nonsense they are. She said sometimes with people she feels there is more going on than discussed but she doesnt feel that with me. wtf I just felt so alone in that room

I'm so alone at home and so alone in T. I honestly dont think I can face much more.

LonesomeTonight · May 22, 2019, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

and we are on the barf cycle again. To make it worse I had a fight with T tonight. I forgot how full of nonsense they are. She said sometimes with people she feels there is more going on than discussed but she doesnt feel that with me. wtf I just felt so alone in that room

I'm so alone at home and so alone in T. I honestly dont think I can face much more.

Ugh, hope the cycle ends soon. And sorry you had a fight with T--those can be so difficult.

LonesomeTonight · May 22, 2019, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

So I'm sitting here in my empty apartment waiting for a delivery. I've made a ton of phone calls trying to donate my extra furniture. No one will take it except 1800-got-junk. Even the waste management wouldn't take it! It's good furniture too. Just too big for the apartment. I tried the church donations, goodwill, salvation army, local thrift shops, even habit for humanity!

And no one will take our husky! Not even the animal shelters. My stupid H put it off for too long. Now we have to pay for boarding until someone will take him.

Hugs...like SD, I'd suggest a husky rescue. Or other animal rescues rather than shelters.

As for the furniture, I think some places won't take it because they lack space to store/sell it. We ran into something like that when trying to get rid of a couch in the past. One place to try if you haven't already, if one of you has a Facebook account, is Facebook marketplace. Or local groups on there.

NP_Complete · May 22, 2019, 08:47 PM

Freecycle + trash nothing! Give and get free stuff is another site. I've had a lot of luck getting rid of stuff that way. You just post what you have, sometimes with a photo, and if someone wants it they'll email you and you can arrange to have them pick it up. I usually just say it'll be on the porch after a certain time and they come grab it and you don't even have to deal with anyone after a couple of emails. I've only done smaller stuff, not furniture, but in my city there are always postings offering or wanting furniture.

JaneTennison1 · May 22, 2019, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Ugh, hope the cycle ends soon. And sorry you had a fight with T--those can be so difficult.

it's my fault. I keep forgetting that T has no role in my life. I'm just alone as always. She always says all she can offer me is what is in the room and today there was nothing just nothing in the room. I threatened to leave halfway through, not an idle threat btw, because I just felt nothing In the room. Just me crying.

what is the point of all this fighting to survive?

May 22, 2019, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs...like SD, I'd suggest a husky rescue. Or other animal rescues rather than shelters.

I read the bolded part as Hugs...like SD. (Period. No comma). And I immediately thought to myself “What is LT thinkin’?Every couch member knows better by now.

Apparently the Unisome is kicking in.

Lemoncake · May 23, 2019, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Probably stupid stuff. Like what if she thinks I'm wasting her time? Like it wasn't a true emergency? Kind of like on Saturday when she said she didn't think I was truly SUI so I told her about my SUI attempt which was a few years ago. I only ever told my T after the fact, when I had survived. Like what if she doesn't believe me? I know these are stupid fears. But my head knows that, not my heart, and my heart can't take rejection, being pushed away, not being believed, her being irritated with me etc. And there's a little fear that the office staff would just refer me to the ER anyway And also, what if I'm letting her down? I didn't make it to Pentecost. I relapsed and basically went back on my word. She might think I'm a failure. Maybe I think I am and I'm projecting. Argh. IDK. I'll stop rambling now.

what if I'm letting her down?

You don't owe her a thing. You're doing your best full stop.

what if she thinks I'm wasting her time?

Pain at the end of the day is still pain. You don't need to justify reasons why and how suicidal you are- just mentioning yo're struggling should be enough.I hope you do call sk.

Lemoncake · May 23, 2019, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

I read the bolded part as Hugs...like SD. (Period. No comma). And I immediately thought to myself “What is LT thinkin’?Every couch member knows better by now.

Yep even meeeee. I've been trained not too put smiles, exclamation marks, and not to click hug on SD's posts.

Lemoncake · May 23, 2019, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

I rang my gp and now i feel worse because she is coming in on her day off to see me.

You've got a good GP there. I'm glad she can recognize your not doing so well.

Lemoncake · May 23, 2019, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

At first I read that as pabulum.

I may be over educated.

Yep but that's why you get these old hearts a' beating .

Lemoncake · May 23, 2019, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I didn't even know what Pabulum meant so I had to look it up. My vocabulary really sucks but then again, you learn something new on the couch everyday! Thanks @@ and unaluna!!

If you google- free rice vocab . it's a website which builds you up slowly. I played it a lot with my sister when she was little.

May 23, 2019, 01:46 AM

Last night I upped my seroquel to 125 mg and I have felt slightly more stable all day. I still have my art class and I am quite sensitive about the teacher because I have only been painting less than year and the perfectionist part is really tearing into me about not being that great. I know I can't do landscapes outside of yt tutorials because I am colourblind so I don't attempt them. Hoping I won't cry I really want to be set up around d the corner of the classroom away from the others.

May 23, 2019, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

You've got a good GP there. I'm glad she can recognize your not doing so well.

She is the best. She is so popular it takes weeks to get a paying appt with her and sometimes months to get a bulk billed appt. I know if it's urgent I can always ring but I am not keen on doctors so I don't.

LostOnTheTrail · May 23, 2019, 04:29 AM

Session in an hour. Anybody around to pocket ride?

May 23, 2019, 05:17 AM

I'm in if I am not too late

LostOnTheTrail · May 23, 2019, 05:36 AM

Thanks, BCM

Louella · May 23, 2019, 06:00 AM

Does how your t sits matter to you? I sit with my legs crossed I think out of habit. I have noticed that my t changes position during session to sit with his leg crossed so one leg is resting on his knee/thigh. I read this can be a sign of competitiveness and dominance and I don’t understand if that’s the case why he’s sitting in that position unless I’m saying something that he’s at odds with or something. Or maybe he’s just trying to mirror me? I don’t know but it has been bugging me and next time I plan to try and remember what we’re talking about when he does it so I can see if it might be related to what we’re talking about. What are your thoughts? Does how your t sits matter to you?

Omers · May 23, 2019, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Louella

Does how your t sits matter to you? I sit with my legs crossed I think out of habit. I have noticed that my t changes position during session to sit with his leg crossed so one leg is resting on his knee/thigh. I read this can be a sign of competitiveness and dominance and I don’t understand if that’s the case why he’s sitting in that position unless I’m saying something that he’s at odds with or something. Or maybe he’s just trying to mirror me? I don’t know but it has been bugging me and next time I plan to try and remember what we’re talking about when he does it so I can see if it might be related to what we’re talking about. What are your thoughts? Does how your t sits matter to you?

I am guessing that is just how he is comfortable. I was friends with a T who often sat that way. My T changes how he is sitting a lot during session. Some times it is related to me, sometimes he worked out just before session and is sore/stiff, sometimes it is just what he feels like.

LonesomeTonight · May 23, 2019, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Louella

Does how your t sits matter to you? I sit with my legs crossed I think out of habit. I have noticed that my t changes position during session to sit with his leg crossed so one leg is resting on his knee/thigh. I read this can be a sign of competitiveness and dominance and I don’t understand if that’s the case why he’s sitting in that position unless I’m saying something that he’s at odds with or something. Or maybe he’s just trying to mirror me? I don’t know but it has been bugging me and next time I plan to try and remember what we’re talking about when he does it so I can see if it might be related to what we’re talking about. What are your thoughts? Does how your t sits matter to you?

I notice things like this with my T. He also sits that way at times, and I also wonder if he's mirroring me. He'll sometimes have one hand under the leg that's crossed over, which always seems odd. I notice his arms, too--one session he had his arms folded across his chest the whole session, which seems closed off. I told him next session, and he apologized, said to mention something the next time. He'll sometimes have one arm across his chest, his other elbow in the hand and that hand on his chin, sort of like The Thinker pose--I'm OK with that one. Other times he sort of plays with his hands, and I wonder if he's nervous, because I do that too. Or if he's just mirroring me (whether consciously or subconsciously).

ArtleyWilkins · May 23, 2019, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Louella

Does how your t sits matter to you? I sit with my legs crossed I think out of habit. I have noticed that my t changes position during session to sit with his leg crossed so one leg is resting on his knee/thigh. I read this can be a sign of competitiveness and dominance and I don’t understand if that’s the case why he’s sitting in that position unless I’m saying something that he’s at odds with or something. Or maybe he’s just trying to mirror me? I don’t know but it has been bugging me and next time I plan to try and remember what we’re talking about when he does it so I can see if it might be related to what we’re talking about. What are your thoughts? Does how your t sits matter to you?

Can't say I ever took notice. I'm assuming he sits in whatever way feels comfortable. I'm not one much into overly-analyzing body language. Books say crossing your arms is body-language speak for putting a barrier between yourself and the other person . . . or . . . perhaps a person is just cold and trying to warm up. So, yeah. Sometimes a horse is just a horse.

stopdog · May 23, 2019, 08:28 AM

I never noticed how the therapist sat. I am not much of a body language reading sort

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