Couch 198: All the Countries Couch

that's interesting that people feel reassured by hugs. I have been in situations where things were definitely not ok but there was still touch. I wonder now if the other person felt I was ok.

T is concerned that I would feel pressured to hug him even if things were not OK because it is ritual. I know for sure he would feel it.

I remember another service provider that I had hugged in the past though that knew I was scared and upset one day so insisted on a hug to calm me down. I said no and rather than accepting the no he insisted. He had no clue that I felt very violated by that hug... until his supervisor got phone calls from me and four others connected to me.

If I ever turned down a hug from T at the end of session he would absolutely honor it but would also check in with me to see if I was OK.

T can also feel the difference in an “I’m uncomfortable” hug and a “I am still really unsettled from session” hug. If it is the latter and his next client is not waiting he will ask (while still hugging) if it is OK to hug a little longer today.

He is pretty damn awesome

Just put on a batch of red lentil chili, I hadn't made it since before I got sick! I've been missing the deliciousness. It will be mine again in about 15 minutes! Yum!

My T doesn't hug, but I tend to feel oddly reassured by the handshake at the end. It's a very warm handshake, more like a hand squeeze almost. And he usually smiles and makes good eye contact then, while wishing me well in some way. And sometimes reassures me if I'm seeming upset or insecure.

Turns out questioning this in my head and aloud here helped. I was NOT hungry. I distracted myself by going to Kohl's and just looking around. Despite the fact that there was a burger joint right under my nose while I was at the store-the smell didn’t bother me. I couldn’t buy anything at the store. (Not spending any money unnecessarily) but not sitting here helped. (I would have ate even though I was not hungry because I thought I was)

As a child I didn’t want hugs goodnight but handshakes good night.

Quite civilized of me, if I do say so myself.

I didn’t want to be bothered at all.

Me: I’m going to bed.
Mom: I’ll come tuck you in.
Me: No. Don’t. My room is private.
Mom: Okay. But that’s my room. I pay the bills.
ME: Eye roll. Door slam.

I don't think mine does hugs either, but I'm not going to ask because I'm sure I'd take it personally if he turned me down. But I also hate my body almost to a pathological extent and I don't think I could stand him hugging me anyway. I would take a handshake though. But I'm feeling extremely touch deprived lately and I would probably cry.

Son shook hands with his dad the other night and h was absolutely amazed at what a strong handshake the boy has. He's so not a boy anymore though.... getting close to 21 (like 4 months away).

Wow. You were born a teenager?

Either that or hated the world from the moment my mother gave birth to me.

Another of my twins separated at birth. Im gonna start believing in alien probes if you guys dont stop this!

How many twins do you have? Maybe you’re actually the Dionne quintuplets.

Trip to europe did the boy good! Thats fantastic! im not crying, your crying!

Is this the same aliens that supposedly gave old what's-his-name the intel for all the inventions he drew?

I do charge people to come see me in my compound

I knew you’d say that!

I do love a woman who knows who the Dionnes were.

ETA: two of them are still alive.

Why dont they attribute mozart to aliens?

I didnt think many were left. I saw the tv special on them recently. They were in my backyard almost.

Good question! I dunno. Somebody prolly does .

Sometimes I will ask my D for a hug goodnight, and her reply is, "Bye Mom!" Though I will sometimes get a mumbled "I love you too" if I say "I love you."

Not to change the subject. But I just wanted to share that my puppy I got back in December (some of you may vaguely recall his photo I posted with the big floppy ears). Well he grew into those ears and as of today he weighs 80lbs.
Apparently I adopted a horse and not a dog.

She sounds like a typical kid to me.

When i was a child, only my father was home at night, and after a certain age i had to tuck myself in, even though i asked.

Then i would wake up when my mother came home from work and i would ask for a kiss, and she would just yell at me from the hallway, not even the bedroom door, to go to sleep. She never came in.

I wonder how long before i stopped asking. And where they got their parenting advice from, if anywhere. Just each other? And how did that conversation go, exactly? Because i pretty much believed they never talked to each other about me, because i never saw them, which now i realize wasnt true.

So do we get a new doggy photo?