Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

For Art and Scarlet:


I'd highly recommend a backup T. I've seen one twice (well, first time was on the phone), the same person. I was concerned it would be weird at first or that we'd have to do a full intake session thing. But she just let me talk about what was on my mind. She helped give me a different perspective on a few things. And I cried in my first time talking to her (might have been easier because was on the phone), and then a little the session last week. It just helps to have someone to let you get the thoughts and emotions out. You don't need to share your life story, just what's in your head at the time. My T is going to be away again (sigh) in a couple weeks, and I've already scheduled to see R again. When I saw her last week, I said I hoped it wasn't weird that I was seeing her as a backup T when I wasn't really in crisis. She said not at all, and that she loves being a backup T for other therapists.

As for where to look for one, Art, if your T doesn't have any names, try the Psychology Today site.

Thanks LT. I actually found L on there in 2011... y'know I wonder if I'd seen a backup while she was on vacation last week if I wouldn't have been such a mess this week?

I do wonder why I seem to be so falling apart lately. I don't much care for it.

Hmmm... makes me wonder if my T has a back up T or would support me using one. There are two other T’s in his office building. He is very protective of me right now though. He knows too many other T’s have hurt me and he doesn’t have a clear idea of why/how yet he just knows he hasn’t. If he had me use one of the T’s in his office it would probably be the woman, she has more availability... hmmm....

I found both my current T and ex-T on there (ex-T referred us to ex-MC).

I'm sorry you're falling apart lately. I feel I've been that way, too, and was just talking to my T about it. I thought last week, I'd mainly fallen apart because he was away, but then I fell apart at one point this week, too. But maybe you needed to be a mess this week, at least in therapy, to get some stuff out? I think a backup T next week could help you, though. I'd just try contacting some soon, to see if anyone has openings.

I find it can help just knowing I'll have a session to go to, even if with a backup T. T said he thinks that regular therapy sessions help me manage life, so he understands why I want to see backup T, even if I'm not "in crisis."

I think I really did need that falling apart-letting go etc. Interestingly and probably not coincidentally as of this morning I have lost 2 lbs since that session.... after steadily gaining since my surgery because I couldn't stop eating. Like I said I've been a mess lately...

I went to meet up with a friend and I realized why I like studying alone. She kept trying to talk to me! Then to boot she wanted to sit somewhere else as she didn't like the table I'd picked. Me being me split half of my coffee in my tray when I was getting up as I had stuff in my other hand. But it taught me to appreciate what I do have (less than half a cup is better than nothing!) and all that jazz. You're making me crave a chai latte now.

I don't think you're a lost cause. As the queen of attachment -attachment is perfectly normal and vital to babies and animals alike.

OK, I am really wishing I were capable of irrational anger right now. Sent T the following email:

Ok, so I thought last week was a perfect session for before you would be away again... now, not so much. So many feelings coming up and I know better to say anything to H about them. I do know where they are coming from and have an idea of what they are trying to tell me but I want you “beside” me while I’m dealing with them. Mostly they aren’t bad (I know, none of our emotions are bad... I just don’t have another way to categorize them) but they are new for me and sometimes that is even more uncomfortable. My biggest fear is that something is going to happen this week while you are gone and move me out of this space before you get back. I’m afraid of missing the chance to work through this with you. This stinks... a lot.

And get this back... within an hour...

People are connected when there is distance because they are joined in spirit.
Peace and Love your way!

Now I’m a total mess. He totally read into it... totally saw me... then he had to use the d* “L” word.

I want to hate him right now but I L him too much and he knows it.

Why are you not allowed to go by yourself? Why is he even jealous?

Your husband's behavior is controlling and this would be a red flag in a relationship, even without the previous SA you have mentioned.

50 Red Flags You Should Watch for in Your Relationship

Nobody is sick of you..We all have moments where we need more support.

Bless you sweet Lemoncake.

He always says things like how I'm not going to go to X place without him, because he wants to get away as well. And this "show" is a Male revenue show, and each time I've been, he gets so jealous.

Hehe.

I get extra brownie points for taking my title seriously.

I am Lemoncake first of my name, protector of the couch.

Having googled that show. I could get his point, but you're not going to bed with any of them. You don't need his permission. He can have his time too nobody is saying that but so should you.

Aww I think that's a cute response.

Yeh, he is good at that cute, nurturing thing.... and hugs.

L does good hugs too. I am thankful for those.

I am completely freaked out. I just opened my front door to go to the gym. Right across the hall from it was a white stuffed animal (polar bear) holding a red heart that said I Love You. There aren't any other doors for about ten yards in either direction down the corridor, so it looks like it was meant for me.

Of course my mind, completely illogically, went right to 2ex, and I've basically retreated into the apartment and shut myself in. Shut all the blinds. Considering moving furniture in front of the door.

That sounds really creepy, ATAT. I don't blame you for wanting to hide.

Is it possible somebody has dropped it on their way past?

ATAT - that sounds creepy. I hope it was just a fallen mis-placed bear.

I am hoping. But it is like two feet high and sitting upright.

At some point I will stop panicking, tell myself **** this, and go out like I planned to. Hopefully soon.

Do you have any garlic, silver bullets, crucifixes, wolf's bane and or iron stakes at the ready?

Or, to take another route - does your building have a doorman or a super who you could call to remove the offending object?

Is there surveillance in your building? Do you have one of those newfangled cameras on your doorbell? That would absolutely terrify me The probability that it is innocent is outweighed by the PTSD.

You think a therapist left it?

Info has always sounded a tad goofy. Or very very wily