Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

Lemmmmmmmon thank you for being you.

You are so awesome did anyone tell you that today? well you are

I love valentine's day too.

I get to see L again tomorrow! I just saw her today, but she wanted to work on my safety plan and that took up the whole time. I didn't get to talk to her about her vacation. It was hard convincing my H to let me go. I finally put it that since I'm missing L next Friday, this is a makeup session. So he agreed! Now I hope that I have enough to talk about tomorrow. All I wanted was like 15mins talking about how I'll miss her, I'll feel alone, I'll worry about her, and reassurance from her. I am lucky though. I know my backup backup T too! She was my group DBT T. I'm still going to try to not use her. It will be awkward telling someone your problems when you haven't seen them in a few years. I don't know how you all do it: seeing your backup Ts when you don't even know them. What do you even say? Or do you just let it all out?

i just tried to chat you Lemon i don't know if i did it right

It's okay to have needs! It's early morning here and i'm waiting till my gym opens at 8am. Then I'm gonna head to the coffee shop to study, but i'll be back to read posts.

I like your poem but also the other one you posted previously. You could not email T there is no must.

i have never had a backup t but i think i might should find one. i was such a mess yesterday after only missing 1 week. i laid htere on the couch bawling my stupid fool eyes out

Artie It's not stupid to cry and nobody thinks you're a fool. We all get that it's painful and hard.

I think it really does help to have someone else when main T is not available.

coffeeeeee shop i know one here in my town that i love but it closes early before i even get off work i would have to take PTO to go there i wan to take a day off an dsit there all day sipping chai tea and writing..... i must do so soon.....


i'm not gonna bother her. silly thought to really. i just freaking miss her already because i know i won't see her thursday poopeee. h an di will be having fun in northern arizona though. funny how quickly i became all stupid ly attached to her again. dang it. i love therapy i can't help it am i a lost cause?!!?!?!?!?!?!

Art, I have a friend who belly dances. She's hemiplegic due to MS and she's quite good at it! The members of her class are all ages and sizes, and she said they're very body positive. She loves to dance and told me it's also been really good PT for her. Costuming is also as revealing or not as you want to be. Her group uses a lot of lace and shawls that become part of the choreography.

she always says how i have been called to this work.
i guess she is right.
i can't stay away.
I love the deep diving. I thrive on it. Is it part of my shadow that constantly tries to pull me away?

Thank you SOOOO much for that! I have watched a half dozen videos on you tube tonight and the expressiveness of it just so intrigues me. I am starting to feel very called to this and am getting really excited for the class. I told my sisterfriends in the midwest the ones I have a sister weekend with once ayear and they are SO supportive of it and can't wait for me to teach them some moves when I go back there end of september!! This is gonna be such a good thing.

Artie is a couch spammer tonight

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Artie -- I think you're doing a great job trying to balance life. I really admire you and your strength. Even when you don't see it, I do and I think the rest of the forums does too. That doesn't mean things aren't hard or confusing. I'm not trying to minimize it for you. Just saying your doing a good job.

As far as needing and wanting your T, I don't think that's "wrong" or "weird". Why are you trying to convince yourself of that? Your T sounds like a great person and a great fit for you. You want to be with a person like that. It would be weird if you didn't want to be with her, imo.

I love my T and hope she remains in my life until one of us dies. And L...it's probably too early, but I think I love her too. I love spending time with them. We're always laughing while doing the work. I just really enjoy my time with them. Do you think that's weird for me? I'm guessing not (though it's okay if you do!). If it's okay for me, why isn't okay for you?

Well my opinion is write an email to L tonight, but don't send it! When you wake up later tomorrow, reread it. If it sound coherent enough, then send it. Just don't send it while intoxicated

I'm in a mood. I requested a refund for a show in Hollywood that I bought tickets for in September. I know H already said no way am I going by myself, and I don't want to deal with that. Plus I know the last time I've went to this show, he got jealous. I just can't do that right now. It bites that they're not visiting here this year but I'll get over it.

Thanks scarlet. I don't know why i try to convince myself of that. she is awesome and we ARE a great fit as far as the therapist-client relationship goes. I have that email address i use sometimes innertherapist@xxx.net i think i will just e mail all this stuff in my head right now tohtat address that just goes to me - mybe i'll look at it tomorrow if i remember, maybe i won't haha. i set that up on etime a lon gtime ago one of thetimes i quit therapy lol . right now, tonight, intoxicated ,i can admit to the fac dttha ti want to be in therapy with L for as long as she'll let me. but i won't be able to admit thistomorow mornign haha!! egads. shut up artie. shut up already. just shut up shut up artie!! lol

omg you guys must be so freaking sickof me by now. iam so sorry i amsuch a paini nthe arse. i can't even type. this keypad is acting all stupid. half the keys don't want to work r ight and i am tired of backspacing and fixing typos.

it won't possibly even remotely be coherent bahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh **** i am ****ed upper by the minute

i hope my son and his gf don't come out here an dsee me likethis

i just somehow saw this through my veryblurry bynow eyes. thank you. i need to find a backup t. i wonder i fi can ask L for suggestions . i doubt she'd have any tho cuz xhe said she'd considered refering me awhile back but didn't have any idea who she'd refer me to

k i aam making afool of myself tonight aren't i damn it

i am a needy fool

please don't hat eme couch

i'msorry wehre is my bed maybe h will get home soon and help me find it

alr ight. i am done spamming the cou ch. i am going to bed goondight my lovelies

Sorry for killing the couch last night. I'm up early and ready to work my 5 hours overtime today...

Hugs, shehulk.