Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

stopdog · Jul 13, 2019, 12:48 PM

I too would suggest getting a video doorbell or other device to record the hallway.

Lemoncake · Jul 13, 2019, 12:50 PM

That really does sound scary @@.

Like SD mentioned I would check with the cameras just to be sure if it wasn't left by mistake or by ex-2.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 13, 2019, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omers

OK, I am really wishing I were capable of irrational anger right now. Sent T the following email:

Ok, so I thought last week was a perfect session for before you would be away again... now, not so much. So many feelings coming up and I know better to say anything to H about them. I do know where they are coming from and have an idea of what they are trying to tell me but I want you “beside” me while I’m dealing with them. Mostly they aren’t bad (I know, none of our emotions are bad... I just don’t have another way to categorize them) but they are new for me and sometimes that is even more uncomfortable. My biggest fear is that something is going to happen this week while you are gone and move me out of this space before you get back. I’m afraid of missing the chance to work through this with you. This stinks... a lot.

And get this back... within an hour...

People are connected when there is distance because they are joined in spirit.
Peace and Love your way!

Now I’m a total mess. He totally read into it... totally saw me... then he had to use the d* “L” word.

I want to hate him right now but I L him too much and he knows it.

Aw, that's so sweet. It would have made me cry for sure. I mean, I've cried at things like, "I'm sorry you're struggling" and an unexpected "You have a great week, too" in replies to my emails, so I have a pretty low bar at times. But for him to use the L word is really nice--no way my T would ever touch that! I do feel loved by him though, even if he'd never say it. And he knows I love him (platonically).

atisketatasket · Jul 13, 2019, 12:50 PM

Yeah, video doorbell sounds good.

I'm calming down enough to breathe normally. Thanks, guys.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 13, 2019, 12:50 PM

That's creepy @@.

Jul 13, 2019, 12:52 PM

ATAT-that’s so scary. I would have freaked out too. Get the ring doorbell. You can install it pretty easily. I hope maybe somebody wanted to leave it for someone and just had the wrong floor or something.

.

Jul 13, 2019, 12:57 PM

That does sound creepy, @@. My mom has that ring doorbell thing and she likes it.

Roamer1115 · Jul 13, 2019, 01:08 PM

try calling a friend to come over and go out with friend...someone maybe got mixed up on where to drop the bear though.

susannahsays · Jul 13, 2019, 01:18 PM

I'm so frustrated! I was thinking seriously of taking out a small student loan - just an extra $300/month to help me with rent. But it looks like they would just send the money directly to my school. That wouldn't help me at all! The parents directly pay the tuition.

NP_Complete · Jul 13, 2019, 01:30 PM

It's been awhile, but when I was in school and getting the max in federal student loans, the money went to the school, tuition was paid and then the school gave me a check for whatever was left over. Of course you have to pay them back someday, so use with caution. I have been paying mine for 12 years and still have about 18 more years of student loan repayments left I think.

Omers · Jul 13, 2019, 01:45 PM

@@ I would be freaked too. Honestly I would call security or something and I am usually pretty confrontational.

Well, a car broke down across from my house in the midst of me bawling about T being gone and dropping the “L” word. Chick blew her tire out on a pothole... thankfully she was bawling harder than I was so never asked anything!

took an electrician with car skills, a pizza guy, and me to get the tire off... I mostly supervised access to hubbies tools and ran and got oddities as we tried to get the stripped lugnut off. We shut down traffic on one side of the road and had three cops go by and not one stop or turn their lights on so no one got hurt

the cops here are either really good or really crappy, no in between... apparently the good ones are off today. One of my cats tried to come over to help. Thank god the electrician saw her... then watched ME run into traffic to run her off the road... shaking his head. Oh well... all are safe.

Roamer1115 · Jul 13, 2019, 01:49 PM

OMG, I'm so sorry to hear of these Student Loan problems and financial problems. Shoot, it seems there are ways to get them forgiven. Like disability or personal hardship, sickness of self or family members. Also was there not a way to work in underprivileged areas or where needed for a time to have the loan paid with hours worked?

I did have a loan forgiven way back in 1990 or so, because of disability. First they offered to just defer any interest and hold the loan amount till I could work but since it was a permanent disability I said no on advice of a friend I believe.

stopdog · Jul 13, 2019, 01:57 PM

I am going out to help a technophobic friend get a new cell phone. This means I am going out, buying a phone and setting it up and handing it to my technophobic friend.

NP_Complete · Jul 13, 2019, 02:00 PM

I would not recommend susannah, or anyone, get a student loan with the expectation that they will be able to get it forgiven. There are many people that did just that, with the expectation that after 10 years of repayments and work in the public sector (I know it was teachers, but maybe some other professions also) their remaining balance would be forgiven and then they were denied when they applied for the forgiveness. It's really terrible. NPR did a series about this topic recently. I do not work in a profession that would qualify for one of these programs and I can now afford the repayment. But I also know a lot of people take out loans and then can't afford the payment with the job they get after school.

atisketatasket · Jul 13, 2019, 02:26 PM

I distracted myself from the bear by taking my economics midterm. Worked like a charm.

I’m heading out again now, and if the bear is still there taking it down to the front desk to deal with.

Jul 13, 2019, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I would not recommend susannah, or anyone, get a student loan with the expectation that they will be able to get it forgiven. There are many people that did just that, with the expectation that after 10 years of repayments and work in the public sector (I know it was teachers, but maybe some other professions also) their remaining balance would be forgiven and then they were denied when they applied for the forgiveness. It's really terrible. NPR did a series about this topic recently. I do not work in a profession that would qualify for one of these programs and I can now afford the repayment. But I also know a lot of people take out loans and then can't afford the payment with the job they get after school.

One of my friends got hit by this situation. She was denied the forgiveness thing, and was going along paying for it when her young daughter came down with a medical condition that literally cost my friend every penny kind of thing and she defaulted on her loan. They compounded the interest or something ridiculously and are now garnishing her wages and she somehow owes like 3 times what she originally borrowed now and does not foresee ever paying it off. It's really crazy and sad. And she's not even a teacher anymore.

Omers · Jul 13, 2019, 03:45 PM

Yeh, my student loans are now over $200,000 for my BA. I have always paid what I could when I was working. I wasn’t working for a while and still wanted to make my payments but they said I had to pay nothing and let the interest accumulate or pay $1,200/mo (the full payment) because apparently there is no program that allows you to use non-earned money (birthday, holiday gifts) to pay it off. It is ridiculous and will never be paid off... and other than those my credit would be really good.

Jul 13, 2019, 03:52 PM

I was very, very lucky that my grandpa put money in a savings account every birthday and christmas starting when I was little and that is what paid for my college in the 1980's. My son got a scholarship that paid for his because of his smarts and hard work in high school. I certainly didn't qualify for any back in the day...

NP_Complete · Jul 13, 2019, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omers

because apparently there is no program that allows you to use non-earned money (birthday, holiday gifts) to pay it off.

Wait, what? Are you in the US with normal student loans? As far as I know, they don't care where the money comes from. It's just another bill like your car payment or electric bill. You can pay with birthday money or wages or whatever. My husband hadn't worked in over a decade and they were still calling trying to get him to pay. They didn't care where it came from.

Omers · Jul 13, 2019, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Wait, what? Are you in the US with normal student loans? As far as I know, they don't care where the money comes from. It's just another bill like your car payment or electric bill. You can pay with birthday money or wages or whatever. My husband hadn't worked in over a decade and they were still calling trying to get him to pay. They didn't care where it came from.

Yes, I am in the US. I had to either pay full payments OR qualify for income contingent... if you do income contingent or forbearance you cannot pay more than what they deem you are able to pay or they assume you provided fraudulent information about your income.

CantExplain · Jul 13, 2019, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I hadn't thought about it like that. I said the 'f' word in there yesterday and quickly apologized for it and she said this is my space and basically i can say whatever i want or need to in there. Will it? Blow itself out if I let it? It's pretty damn big. Can she handle it? Will there really be no harm done in the real world? Good things to ponder in the next 2 weeks (I already had a little vacation planned next week before I went back for the summer, so no session again til 7/25)

Of course you're right. It's never that clean and it's never that simple.

It will change your T relationship and it will spill over into the real world.

But that's the adventure you signed up for.

Isn't it?

CantExplain · Jul 13, 2019, 06:01 PM

If they were honest, they'd tell you up front:

It will take ten years and you'll break three Ts along the way.

CantExplain · Jul 13, 2019, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

Well if being human means feeling broken then I don't wanna be human.

You are clearly on the threshold of a major breakthrough. There is no way now but forward, and you'll feel better once you're through.

CantExplain · Jul 13, 2019, 06:12 PM

The pain you feel is your chains breaking.

Jul 13, 2019, 06:15 PM

I woke from a dream that is really bugging me. In the first part of the dream I was homeless but I had a bull terrier in the last part of the dream which appears to be in ultra sharp focus I am in a hospital and I need to go to the toilet so I am taking my dog up to corridor where the toilet is but next to the wall there is a small dog bed with 2 bowls beside it and behind them 2 larger dog beds partly closing of the entrance to the corridor I am complaining about health and safety when I get to the toilet door which is just beyond the dog beds I shove at them with my foot but all I do is jumble them and not make any more room

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