Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

Reading old posts and it's crazy how much I've grown. I am so grateful for that and so lucky to have now, what I had so deeply craved for a long time ago.

Im in heaven!

Eta - some people are easy criers. I had a graduate student neighbor when the bunch of us went to the movies, we made her sit on the aisle for her to cry her river of tears. ANY movie.

Mildly...

I just managed to log into a forum that I used to post on 10 YEARS AGO!! I am FLOORED! Sadly all of my old buddies on there are no longer active (and rightfully so). What nostalgia!!

I should go read some of my old posts to see if I have grown at all...

I don't need to read them to know you've grown!

I just didn't pick up on those subtleties!

T minus 3 hrs...

I actually don't know about how it works voluntarily. I mentioned the possibility to my son's T today during family therapy when the boys stepped out for a minute. She asked what route he'd want me to take because most places you have to go through the er and said he'd have to do a hold. I didn't ask for her advice or input, so now I'm all confused since he made it seem like he'd be able to help me get a bed at a place. If I went through an er, I'd worry they'd just laugh and wouldn't take me seriously or worse I'd end up in a place like I did 3 years ago that was a nightmare.

Getting a bit nervous about presenting my research in front of a bunch of my attendings tomorrow--wish me luck!

Also I emailed my T kind of a long email and I wish he would respond (even though he doesn't usually respond to non-urgent emails during the week).

I gave him the votive and the stuff I had written down while I was crying this morning. He seemed to like it. He said I'd made his day. I guess it was good I shared.

Therapists should have this on their wall:

"I can help you with your imaginary problems, but with real problems you're on your own."

my D bought a music keyboard yesterday her room is looking like recording studio with electric guitars amps etc.

Good luck but I bet you won't need it.

I'm having increased anxiety symptoms from decreasing my Abilify from 10 mg to 5 mg. Shaking and crying and agitation. My T says those are withdrawal symptoms and might go away given more time. I am skeptical because it's been a month since I instituted the dose decrease. I'm inclined to believe it's my anxiety returning, rather than temporary side effects.

Tl;dr I'm struggling a bit lately.

Hugs...why did you decide to reduce the Abilify? Could you maybe try to go back up to 10? Or are there other side effects that are an issue?

We put my H's old one in our D's room (she's 8). She's been playing with it lately, along with a drum. We switched one of her camps for later this summer to a music camp, because she seems into it.

I come from a very musical family but I am the least musical person in it. I am just happy that both Ds have the talent. Hope your D enjoys her music camp. We don't things like that over here.

At a poetry reading downtown. Makes me think of our couch poets! Anyone feeling like sharing more of their work?

Have you been drinking? There was a lot of wine flowing at any poetry reading I have been to. Possibly because they were usually in bars.

It's because I want to lose weight and my GP recommended seeing if I could go off Abilify. I'm enrolling in a year- long program with my insurance company and at the end I might get bariatric surgery.

I'm very conflicted about bariatric surgery because I feel it's mutilation that we'll look back on with horror in 100 years, like women who used to have their lowest ribs removed so they could have a smaller waist. But I'm 120 lbs overweight and have been for 25 years. I've been able to get down to "only" 95 lbs overweight but I haven't been able to get below that. Anyway, I'm dieting now and getting results but I'm not that optimistic in the long term. And there aren't any other treatments that have a chance of working with such a large weight loss needed.

So I'm conflicted, but going ahead with it safe in the knowledge that I can decide not to go forward with the surgery 12 months from now.

Tl;dr: I could go back on the Abilify if the symptoms get too bad but my bariatric surgeon won't like it.

That makes total sense MP. Is there some other weight-neutral med that could help you maybe? I feel like bariatric surgery is for health rather than vanity, so it's completely different than the rib thing. And you've tried other things. So no shame in getting the surgery. Hope it works out for you.

Alas, no. It’s at a coffee shop that doesn’t serve alcohol.

There aren't many weight-neutral antipsychotics but I'll check with my psychiatrist next time I see him. He refuses to prescribe benzos so that's not an option (which is probably a good thing anyway given how hard they are to get off of).

I myself didn't gain any weight from starting Abilify--I kept an eye on my weight and blood sugar levels when I started it because I didn't want to develop diabetes, which happens for some people. So maybe I'll be able to go back up to 10 mg after I speak to the bariatric surgeon.

Yes, it's definitely for health reasons so maybe that's not a good comparison after all. Thanks for replying.