I think my therapist is angry at me

I accidentally backed into my therapists car and she seems angry at me. I am having trouble coping with this. My therapist seems to suggest that somehow I did this on purpose and it’s really making me upset and I don’t know how to cope with this.

If you did abeit unconsciously than this will need talking about.
If you didn't then insurance will sort.

As to Ts anger. I'm not in the room so can't tell if or where that's coming from.

I’m sorry, that is a really aweful position to be in. I can see my T being upset but I can’t imagine him ever thinking it was intentional. But... my T parks in a spot where it would be really hard to hit him.

That does sound very upsetting - all of it. The situation would probably be upsetting anyway without feeling like your therapist thinks you did it on purpose. What did s/he say that gave you this impression? I'm not doubting that it might be the case - some therapists I've heard of seem to overanalyze every little thing a client does, and they are as capable of being angry as anyone else. Is it that your therapist seems both angry and has said something suggesting that you did it on purpose, or does your therapist seem angry and the anger itself is the evidence that s/he thinks you did it on purpose?

I'd be really upset by this as well, particularly if my T thought I did it on purpose. Accidents happen. Did you even know it was her car? Did you cause any damage? If so, I'd offer to pay or, if it's extensive, get your insurance involved.

She was trying to question whether I did it on purpose because I was angry. I was angry at her but I didn’t do it on purpose. I was dissociated when it happened.

What a horrible situation to be in. I don't know how I'd deal with that either. I'm guessing your T may think you behaved unconsciously, in which case she's probably questioning you to try and find out if that's a possibility. That's very different to thinking you did it intentionally, but I can imagine how upsetting it is feel that T is angry with you and believes you did it on purpose. I hope you can work through this together. I'm assuming your insurance will be on the job to sort out any repairs etc, so try to focus on your relationship with T. I hope it was strong before this happened? I was wondering if you could write a letter to her saying that you feel awful about it. Sometimes writing something down is easier than saying it.

I'm so sorry this happened. I know it can be difficult to drive when one is dissociated. I try to take a few moments in my car to ground myself after therapy to make sure I'm okay. T is pretty good too about asking me what I can do to stop dissociating. This could cause a bit of a rupture between you and T but I think its normal to be upset after an accident regardless who is at fault. Hopefully T will calm down and realize their reaction is theirs to own and not push it off onto you. I hope your insurance can sort it out and that everything will be okay. HUGS Kit

If the therapist is angry - then the therapist needs to go see their own therapist and deal with it.

She might mean unconsciously?? People have prangs all the time and if both of your cars are there at the same time...

I once took my wing mirror off my car on his drive... luckily it was just my car that was damaged!

What's more worrying is that you left your session in a dissociated state. Your T needs to help you come back to yourself before you leave... it's no wonder you had an accident. I'd be angry with her for not doing her job properly.

That’s really unfortunate. Although I’m big on clients taking responsibility for their actions, in this case I find myself leaning the other way and am finding the therapist at least partially to blame. One job of a therapist is to regulate the intensity of a session across time so that a client can leave in a fairly grounded state and safely reintegrate with the outside world. If you left dissociated, the therapist failed in that regard.

I think the therapist was wrong to suggest you did that on purpose? I hope you two can resolve this situation. Things like this happen and it's unfortanate. To put blame on you is wrong and if she can't understand you dissociate after the session then she totally doesn't understand. Hugs Her job is to also help you feel grounded so you can feel safe and drive safe after the session. Hugs

Have you seen T since the accident or was this the initial reaction?

Could some of his reaction been that he was upset that he might have let you leave in a disassociated state so he was trying to clarify where your head was? Not blaming just assessing?