Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

Updating here that my T session went well today. There were some painful moments for sure and some brutal honesty from both sides. I didn’t back down, sharing what was on my mind, what I was angry about, what had hurt me. But also owning my part in the conflict. We did a lot of talking. And I feel my T and I have come to an understanding and a way forward. We will see how it goes...I appreciate all the support on here.

Generic for Lipitor. I don't feel that achy. Maybe a little but nothing ridiculous. It's more like I am being held underwater. That's what the depression feels like. I went from normal to this to looking up ways online to off myself (yeah, not in a good headspace). Everything I see online says that it doesn't cause psychiatric side effects, so this could just be a horrible coincidence, but I'm not big on coincidences. But it could just be my stupid depression acting up for no reason. I'm hoping my PDOC will know but I don't want to feel this bad until the 19th when I see him.

HUGS @LonesomeTonight. I'm glad your T session went well and that there is a kind of resolution. HUGS

They would be tough, stringy, flavorless and quite possibly poisonous.

Your right. Braising it is!

I take atorvastatin, which is a generic lipitor. Im not unhappy with it.

Maybe the fish oil is doing you in? The evidence for its usefulness is in dispute, last i read.

Ruptur/repair/repeat

It's a path I follow but hopeflly not just a cycle going no where.

I have spent the last 2-3 days feeling sick to my stomach and not eating, at first I thought it was just anxiety, i cancelled T, here it still is. Bagel with cfream cheese for dinner again as it is all I can cope with.

Do tell said solution!

Sounds like it went about as well as it could go. Hugs.

Yes, atorvastatin, that's it. I can't remember that name, just generic Lipitor. IDK. Maybe it is the fish oil. Doctor gave me a prescription for that. Heck of a lot cheaper than buying it in the supplement aisle. I just can't imagine living the rest of my life feeling like this. I feel downright horrible. I'm sorry to whine. I just feel overwhelmed by the weight of this depression and the scariness of the thoughts.

Going to Starbucks tonight with a friend. I will think of the couch name when I'm there.

I wish I knew what constitutes an emergency. Like when is it a good idea to call your therapist's office. How bad do you have to feel....maybe like I'm going to the hospital bad. I don't even know. No that I am going to the hospital yet. Just wondering.

It's unlikely T would be able to talk at that moment before going to the hospital so maybe that is not even the answer. IDK.

I never had rupture/repair with the woman. The one time I trusted her repair, she broke her promise within a week. From then on it was rupture/rupture/rupture until I hired the second one and just quit trying to get the first to understand. Then my person got really sick and even a therapist couldn't **** that up more than it already was.

Ugh, hope you feel better soon!

Not exactly the same thing, but close!

Should I text my therapist?

Hugs, Kit, please stay safe and go to the hospital if needed.

I'm so tired of life. I called L last night telling her I wanted to quit because I wanted to break my safety plan. She called me this morning, we talked, and she suggested that I get out of the house today. So I went to visit my mom at work. I stayed there maybe an hour or two, but I forgot my phone in the car. When I got back to my car, it showed H had called. I missed his call by 15mins. I called and it went straight to voicemail. I texted. I then drove home. At every red light, I called. Went straight to voicemail. I get home and H isn't home. I ask my dad where he went. He said he didn't know, but he cursed out the dogs and slammed something before leaving. H came home a few minutes later. He starts yelling at me that the one time he needed me, I wasn't there for him. He went on about doctors not helping him, not being able to find a job, being in physical pain, that he's angry. I let him yell at me for a good 15mins, then asked if I could go smoke.

I want to get away from all of this. I can't do this. I'm already feeling suicidal and H knows this. I just want to die.

We did talk a bit about that pattern today and what it's often about for me (seeking more evidence of T's caring, sometimes trying to feel like I have more control). And talked about ways to try to work through it. I think acknowledging it was an important step.

Kitty, I know there has been some research that fish oil, if it's the Rx one, has shown positive effects on cardio protection and as an anti-depressant. Also statins are associated with less incidence of depression, not more. Here's a meta-analysis of research (skip to the Discussion section unless you like reading scientific research): https://s3.amazonaws.com/academia.ed...8ff61d66050a46

I suspect they would taste very bitter.

I would brush it and condition it more often. Stimulate the scalp, get rid of the old growth at the root. Im just jealous you have thick hair!! Send me some!!! I have trump scalp!

I was thinking cheesy!

How about co-qu-10 supplements? I take them, might be placebo effect but i think i like them.