Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

Original EMDR T contacted me. We had scheduled an appointment we forgot to cancel and she wanted to know if I needed it pending my meeting with sup EMDR T. I thanked her and said no I was in with sup EMDR T and didn't need it. I thanked her for making me feel so safe and comfortable to try again and told her I appreciatd her ethics. She was really appreciative and it was a nice way to end rather than with me feeling terrible.

I'm sorry to hear this. So sad when furry ones can't be around anymore. Sending hugs

Aw, I'm sorry, WFS...

Hugs wfs

My car was finally ready at 6:15 tonight, after dropping it off (with an appointment) at 9:30 this morning. Apparently they didn't even really look at it until 2? Like, why make an appointment then? It needed all new brake pads and rotors (which I expected, as they were nearing the end of their life at last year's service appointment), which ended up being quite pricey. But I'm at 73,000 miles and have had the car 8 years, so feel I can't really complain about that. And brakes aren't something you mess with--it had started to squeal when I used the brakes while going in reverse, so I knew something was up. Pretty sure I'm not going to give the non-communicative service manager the high points on the survey that the cashier said I should give him though...

I started watching the L word on Netflix again recently. I'm on season 6 episode 3.

Sorry to hear about the fur baby, WFS. Enjoy the time he has left.

I'm feeling incredibly tiny and alone tonight. I just went out with two friends last night; why am I feeling alone?

During my recent Week of Terror, I found out that Flexeril gives me the same lovely emotionally numb feeling that Klonopin does. This is good news because I can always get refills of Flexeril but my current pdoc won't prescribe Klonopin.

Hugs, WFS.

Also hugs Mobius

Why am I googling my therapist tonight? I thought I was past all that. Sigh.

You're not alone...

I hate my life. Time for another drink. I've fallen deep into the doldrums the last couple of days. Just ignore me.

Eating regularly and taking my meds regularly are really helping my mood and energy. I kind of stopped taking my meds regularly because I wanted to prove that therapy was contributing to my low mood, but in hind sight that wasn't such a great thing to do.

I have done some cleaning and washed my pjs and bedsheets I feel better. I really need someone to come in and do a good clean but cleaners are expensive. Anyway feeling a bit better. I just need to start painting again and I will be ok.

No, we won't ignore you!

((NPC))

PS: It is unlikely that drink will help much in the long term. Quite the reverse.

It's perfectly okay. I think it's just a way of trying to feel connected to him.

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Maybe you could also bribe some family members to help?

I sometimes clean a little bit a day and it all slowly adds up- you don't have to do it all in one go..

If you don't give honest feedback they can't improve. Give them the score you feel they deserve.

I agree about the feeling connected. I find I tend to Google more when I'm feeling disconnected (like T being away, or if I felt disconnected in a particular session). I think it can also be a way to sort of...balance out the natural imbalance of the therapeutic relationship. Because your T knows so much more about you than you do about them.

For me, it's also trying to figure my T out. Because I tend to want to figure people out in general. It's almost like I feel that if I can figure someone out, then maybe I can prevent them from abandoning me.

Oh that makes perfect sense to me LT. It reminds me of the the song from sleeping beauty

"But if I know you- I know what you'll do"

My sister and her husband are filing for divorce. They have been married 4 years and have a 16 month old. It took actually having a baby for him to see it wasn’t ready to be a father. He wants his old life back and has been going out to party-leaving her and the baby at home alone almost every night. They have been fighting non stop since the baby was born. They tried marriage counseling. Now they are getting divorced very soon. He is being very agreeable to the terms of the divorce because he just wants out. He can’t wait to get out. Part of the agreement says that he can see the baby once a week and he signed off on that. What an asshole. I hate him. Even his own mother is upset at him. Told him this is not they way I raised you. You have an obligation to your wife and baby. I can’t wait for the day he’s done partying, wakes up, looks around his house and realizes everything he gave up.

Whew..I have been holding that in for a long time now and had to plant it somewhere.

Wow, that really sucks. But best for the baby if that's what he really wants. I imagine it's really hard on your sister though, if he's choosing partying over his life with her and their child.

Thanks, LT-it is best for the baby. When he decides that he’s done with partying he’s going to look around his empty house and realize what he lost and you know what? When that happens nobody will take pity on him. He doesn’t even have the support of his family because they all think he’s an asshole for what he is doing to his wife and baby. His mother and siblings cut off contact with him because of what he’s doing. His mother is absolutely besides herself. She can’t believe he’s doing this. So he has no one. Good. He made his bed, now he has to lay in it. The divorce will be final in a few weeks.

Ah, rain showers in Texas on an August morning. That doesn't happen very often. Nice.