Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

Aug 03, 2019, 06:01 PM

I am on a pension so I am limited to 600 $au if I could buy the food I would like to eat I would say more like 1000 $au so CE is right about the 50%but I live in a remote area and we have ridiculous transport costs.

atisketatasket · Aug 03, 2019, 06:15 PM

Well, here's my train story outline. Never actually gonna write this, and I doubt it's original. Bleah.

Quote:

Beginning: Set up the story: the nearly-empty car, the time of day (late night), the narrator (first person). Narrator hears the other passenger enter and sit down across the aisle, but doesn’t look at them (busy reading or playing a game). Eventually the narrator looks up to gaze out the window and sees the reflection of the other passenger across the aisle.

Middle: Eventually the narrator looks up to gaze out the window and sees the reflection of the other passenger across the aisle. The reflection in the mirror is of a lovely young woman listening to music on her phone and smiling. The narrator becomes interested, and turns to get up as though going to the restroom, planning to strike up a conversation with the other passenger. Across the aisle he sees instead a fat ugly middle-aged woman with dirty hair and clothes and an evil scowl on her face.

It’s too late avoid the conversation and the narrator finds himself stuck in an unpleasant exchange, first of small talk, then it becomes increasingly clear that this train is not just an ordinary train but something else. What the woman won’t say, but she drops plenty of dark hints. The narrator eventually makes it to the restroom, gasping in relief to get away from the woman. He checks his reflection in the mirror, only to see that his normal reflection—a good-looking, smart young man—is blinking in and out with the reflection of old man, ear and nose hairs run riot, deeply wrinkled, balding, boxer’s nose, and mean eyes. The longer the narrator looks in the mirror and stays in the restroom, the more time his reflection spends as himself and less as an old man.

Suddenly there is a banging on the door, and the woman starts yelling is he done in there yet. The narrator’s reflection starts changing faster and faster. Panicked, he tries to exit, but the woman won’t let him out, demanding to know what he’s been doing in there. He can see her reflection in the mirror now, too, it’s mostly the older evil-looking woman, with occasional flashes of the pretty young girl.

End: The woman’s screeching gets to the narrator. He grabs her by the throat with one hand and opens the door at the end of the car next to the restroom with the other. He pushes the woman towards the door. She doesn’t fight, she doesn’t beg for her life, so when he hesitates she yells insults at him like “you dirty old man.” And he throws her out. As she passes out the door but just before she lands on the tracks she changes to the pretty young woman, and lands on the tracks with a smile on her face.

The narrator staggers back to his seat. Thinking back to his conversation with the woman, he starts to realize what she was hinting at: this train is the afterlife, Purgatory. Souls on the train are torn between the good and the bad parts of themselves. The only way off the train and to get into heaven or hell is to have another soul throw you off. The narrator walked right into the woman’s hands.

The narrator settles back into his seat, waiting for a new passenger to arrive so he can pull the same trick on them. It might take a while, but he’s got a good book.

downandlonely · Aug 03, 2019, 06:20 PM

I like that story @atisketatasket I have never heard anything like that before.

Aug 03, 2019, 06:37 PM

Isn't a bit hard to be original because our brain retains everything we experience even if we don't consciously remember. And there are certain plot devices that drive a story forward etc

I like the story by the @@

Aug 03, 2019, 06:49 PM

@@... it’s different and it’s very good.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 03, 2019, 07:36 PM

I like it, @@!

JaneTennison1 · Aug 03, 2019, 08:43 PM

@@ I would totally read that!! awesome

CantExplain · Aug 03, 2019, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

2000 nzd

That's for three of us.

chihirochild · Aug 03, 2019, 09:30 PM

Now I have to stay up all night in anticipation of bei on nights for the next two weeks starting tomorrow night. It’s only 10:30 and I’m already exhausted.

Aug 03, 2019, 09:39 PM

Crocheting mandelas this evening using leftover yarn.

Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

Aug 03, 2019, 09:58 PM

oh couch. no matter how busy i try to keep my hands making these mandelas my brain just won't shut up. it keeps going back to all the ways i failed my son as a mom when he was growing up. when he was here earlier i felt tension between us. i feel like he's upset with me but i'm afraid to ask why or how i can fix it. i love him so much i always have. i have always done the best i knew how to do. yet all i can think about right now are all the mistakes i made. i can't see any of the good stuff. i don't know why i do this to myself. i wish h were home but he's on a long distance job. i feel so lonely, so broken. i want L.

unaluna · Aug 03, 2019, 10:15 PM

Dude. Maybe he just needs to budget better, not spend so much on "entertainment", KWIM? You and your h i think have different spending and saving styles, i wonder where the boy ended up. Your h seems impractical, like do as i say, not as i do. I just really wish my parents had treated me like a human being, financial-wise. They were REALLY misogynistic, which is weird, given that my mother worked since i was 2.

stopdog · Aug 03, 2019, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Dude. Maybe he just needs to budget better, not spend so much on "entertainment", KWIM? You and your h i think have different spending and saving styles, i wonder where the boy ended up. Your h seems impractical, like do as i say, not as i do. I just really wish my parents had treated me like a human being, financial-wise. They were REALLY misogynistic, which is weird, given that my mother worked since i was 2.

Maybe - although mistakenly as it turns out - your parents were trying to make it so you were taken care of/living differently than they were doing. Was your mother working to raise your quality of life? I understand you wanted something different - but are you sure her intentions were so nefarious? Could it have been more misalignment with you based on how she was raised and the values imposed upon her rather than that she was out to get you?

NP_Complete · Aug 03, 2019, 10:49 PM

Artie, no parent is perfect. My parents weren't but I know they loved me and I love them. I feel certain you were a good parent who made normal mistakes along the way, but he turned out to be a good person. Maybe the tension you felt is just the stress of moving. Moving is very stressful. I've done it enough to know. Help them get some furniture if it makes you feel better (although I would lean towards thrift stores versus going into debt to buy new stuff, especially at his age). You're a good mom, not a perfect mom, and that's okay.

ScarletPimpernel · Aug 03, 2019, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

Crocheting mandelas this evening using leftover yarn.

Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

You're so talented!

Lemoncake · Aug 04, 2019, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

oh couch. no matter how busy i try to keep my hands making these mandelas my brain just won't shut up. it keeps going back to all the ways i failed my son as a mom when he was growing up. when he was here earlier i felt tension between us. i feel like he's upset with me but i'm afraid to ask why or how i can fix it. i love him so much i always have. i have always done the best i knew how to do. yet all i can think about right now are all the mistakes i made. i can't see any of the good stuff. i don't know why i do this to myself. i wish h were home but he's on a long distance job. i feel so lonely, so broken. i want L.

Artie bean. You don't have to be perfect.

I have no real experience about raising kids, but it's always the small things that count. Right now things are tough with all the stress of the move and it may just have been that he was tired/grumpy/ hungry and everything won't be warm and fuzzy all the time with anyone- no matter how much you love them.

You may not have done X when he was younger. But you did do Y and Z. You brought him up knowing that if he was in trouble he could always come back to you. And you proved that when you let him and gf stay for a long time. It's always actions that count more than words. You created a HOME not a house for him.

He came to you about the hotel stuff- that shows so much trust it's pretty incredible and crazy to me as I'd never do that with my parents.

Are you allowed to email L? Could you also go twice a week?

Just saying you could have done a lot worse.

Possible trigger:

I actually don't have a single memory of my father hugging me, or reading to me.
The first man who told me he was proud of me was my chemistry teacher when I was 19.
When I was three marks off and A*in my A-level exam my father called me a failure and I cried on the way home with brother in the car.
When I was 14 and bullied at school my father called me the same term that they did.
The first time I went to a restaurant with just my mother and my father. I actually started to cry in public because he snapped at me and swore at me for changing my order.
I remember crying in the car after the stuff he said the first time after I had passed my drivers test.
I remember being slapped for making noise when I was 7.
I've been called a prostitute and a *****.
I remember being kicked because I told my mother he had bought a different kind of cat food.

When he found out I was self harming, he made SH jokes.

Oh hey I still loved him the most.

If you never intentionally mocked him, shamed him or beat him= you're pretty much a superstar in my book!

I

Lemoncake · Aug 04, 2019, 01:22 AM

I'll be back to check up on you guys and to reply to previous posts . I have meet my lover- gym.

ScarletPimpernel · Aug 04, 2019, 02:09 AM

Is 4 months too soon to love a T? Maybe I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase, but I think I love L. Even though my feelings are not romantic, people "fall in love" rather quickly in romantic relationships; days or weeks. Should I tell her yet? I told T I loved her after 7 months. Maybe I should wait. Idk! I think L would be more receptive. I'm looking for a few responses, please!

unaluna · Aug 04, 2019, 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Maybe - although mistakenly as it turns out - your parents were trying to make it so you were taken care of/living differently than they were doing. Was your mother working to raise your quality of life? I understand you wanted something different - but are you sure her intentions were so nefarious? Could it have been more misalignment with you based on how she was raised and the values imposed upon her rather than that she was out to get you?

They werent "out to get me." That would have taken some effort. They just didnt bother. I didnt matter. I didnt count. I wasnt worth spending time with, or giving information to.

I dont know how else to explain neglect to you.

Aug 04, 2019, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Is 4 months too soon to love a T? Maybe I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase, but I think I love L. Even though my feelings are not romantic, people "fall in love" rather quickly in romantic relationships; days or weeks. Should I tell her yet? I told T I loved her after 7 months. Maybe I should wait. Idk! I think L would be more receptive. I'm looking for a few responses, please!

I don't think so. You should tell her when you are comfortable.

Aug 04, 2019, 03:39 AM

I came to a realisation that I originally took up painting as a way of expressing myself to exT and lately I have thought there is no point in that anymore so I stopped but it didn't feel right as I still feel the need to create. So yesterday I decided even though I won't be showing them to exT I can still use art to explore more about me so today I have spent more time in the art room than maybe 5 months ago. It has had a pleasing effect on me, a more peaceful feeling.

Lemoncake · Aug 04, 2019, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

Crocheting mandelas this evening using leftover yarn.

Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

I like it!

Lemoncake · Aug 04, 2019, 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Is 4 months too soon to love a T? Maybe I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase, but I think I love L. Even though my feelings are not romantic, people "fall in love" rather quickly in romantic relationships; days or weeks. Should I tell her yet? I told T I loved her after 7 months. Maybe I should wait. Idk! I think L would be more receptive. I'm looking for a few responses, please!

I find it very easy to love people too. I think there's no harm in telling her if you feel it.

I never told T directly that I loved them until he actually brought it up himself in session that I told him I hated him a lot but never loved him. I denied it the whole session but only admitted it in the last min. We were at 5 months then.

Lemoncake · Aug 04, 2019, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

I came to a realisation that I originally took up painting as a way of expressing myself to exT and lately I have thought there is no point in that anymore so I stopped but it didn't feel right as I still feel the need to create. So yesterday I decided even though I won't be showing them to exT I can still use art to explore more about me so today I have spent more time in the art room than maybe 5 months ago. It has had a pleasing effect on me, a more peaceful feeling.

I think it's good you've realized to keep painting for yourself.

CantExplain · Aug 04, 2019, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Artie, no parent is perfect. My parents weren't but I know they loved me and I love them. I feel certain you were a good parent who made normal mistakes along the way, but he turned out to be a good person. Maybe the tension you felt is just the stress of moving. Moving is very stressful. I've done it enough to know. Help them get some furniture if it makes you feel better (although I would lean towards thrift stores versus going into debt to buy new stuff, especially at his age). You're a good mom, not a perfect mom, and that's okay.

Whatever mistakes I made as a parent, they were different to the mistakes my parents made. I think that's really the best one can hope for.

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