Couch 203: The Spam and Cool Whip Couch!

Fkm, it is central AC, but I don't think it's to do with the outside temp. Although sometimes there is a greater than 20 degree differential, I have never had an issue in the way you mentioned personally. Seems like that would make for quite miserable conditions for people living in places like Arizona where it's over 100° in the summer. When I came in today, everything was back to normal and the thermostat was functioning normally, thank goodness. The temperature outside is 94°, the humidity is 52%, and inside it is 72°. But the thing that tipped me off in this particular situation was that I noticed the filter had been sort of sucked up and dislodged, so I taped it in the proper position. Then I watched as the temperature climbed four or five degrees in less than an hour.

NP, I think thats very wise and protective of yourself.

I read something these past few days somewhere on here (not too vague!) about the importance of taking care of ones self, even if it takes special means.

Freaking insurance denied more days of IOP for me after today. This program is supposed to be about 6-10 weeks long, and today is only my 4th day. Like wtf. My therapist is saying I need this, the assessment people are saying I need this, and insurance is denying it. I've never had an issue with Medicaid before this. I don't know what else they expect me to do. I'm already going to individual therapy 4 times a week. After this weekend, I don't know what the answer is and I'm pissed off and upset. I feel like I don't belong anywhere in the system.

HUGS @SheHulk07 I'm sorry the insurance is denying more IOP days. That really stinks. Your therapist and the assessment people should be the ones that get to make the decision not the insurance. Can you appeal?

Supposedly they are doing another peer review meeting with insurance today, and they said they're going to advocate for me for more days. But it's frustrating that I didn't know in the first place that they only approved 4 days of it. Everyone else here has been in here for weeks, and here I am getting kicked out after 4 days because of insurance. It feels really personal but I know it's probably as simple as insurance doesn't want to pay more money.

IMHO, insurance wants to pay as little as possible all of the time. HUGS I hope they get it worked out for you.

Hugs...they should have let you know about the 4 days from the start. I wonder if the issue is partly that you're also still seeing your T? They could possibly consider that duplication of services and may be willing to pay for just one or the other. I'm not saying that's fair or right, just could be part of what's going on. I know when a previous p-doc talked about my possibly doing IOP a few years ago, she said I wouldn't be able to continue seeing ex-T and ex-MC while in the program, though I got the sense that was a rule of the program (though maybe she knew insurance wouldn't cover it). Not being able to see them made it non-negotiable for me, so I didn't pursue it at all.

The temperature outside is 94°, the humidity is 52%, and inside it is 72°


That's about perfect. The HVAC folks told me it's about controlling humidity; something about if humidity goes too much beyond 55%, the system can't keep up in cooling more than @20* below outside temp without too much moisture condensing on the coils and then freezing.


In the SW, they have additional systems I've never seen--I think they're called evaporative systems? or I've seen references to "swamp coolers" but I don't know if they're the same thing--and also the HVAC service folks set the AC internally to a different measure to get higher cooling because of the lower outside humidity. ACs just have limitations when it comes to coping with very high temps with very high humidity levels outside. Thankfully, my weather only gets like that for a couple of weeks out of the year. I think you get more days of that! Glad it's working!

I wonder if that is part of it, too. I know my T mentioned that if he had trouble with it on his end, that we'd figure out a way to still check in. He hasn't said anything.
They didn't say anything from the start and didn't know I was still seeing my T until I said something.
They did get me 4 more days. I don't know if this is how it works...one week at a time type thing? It's so frustrating.

That is why I have 2 dehumidifiers going in July and August (one upstairs and one in the basement) - to help the a/c keep up.

Getting more and more nervous about Thursday's session. Comes to something when I feel guilty for writing something positive.

Got dinner going in the slow cooker: shredded bbq chicken with potatoes. Smells so good. First time making it so I hope it turns out good.

I made a package of basil gnocchi with a can of white and dark meat turkey and the zucchini in tomato sauce. It was totally yummy.

I feel a little bit better this afternoon than I did this morning. Plus Disneyland on Sunday so woo-hoo! I'm looking forward to that. I hope Star Wars Land is cool. But mostly I'm just there to hang out and see what's up. Mom and Dad will be gone so I figured I may as well go. I'm trying to use that woo-hoo ness as an impetus to get through the week.

I think I'm having green chili chicken enchiladas for dinner. At least that is what Mom and I discussed on our daily phone call at lunch. But sometimes she changes her mind and makes something else like meatloaf (gag)

I have a session with my new T tomorrow and I don't know if I want to go. I don't really feel anything about this guy I neither like him nor dislike him. I liked my exT right from when I saw him. I don't know if I should keep seeing him or not.

I found neutral useful. Perhaps giving him a try and seeing if he can help you with why you see him rather than focussing on him.

I made fresh corn on the cob, but since I don't have cotija I couldn't have elote, so I ate leftover hamburger helper. The little likes corn, so it's a win.

I'm buying farm to table baskets with a group from work, this week hoping to eat all the vegetables without throwing any out. The first basket mostly went to waste. I hate wasting food.

Hope you're all having a good evening.

I just got in from work a bit ago and I’m sitting in front of my TV frying brain cells watching America’s Got Talent. This show is a waste of TV space.

After this Friday I’m not working for 2 weeks and I’m okay with that. Ive been busting my ***, so those 2 weeks before the new job starts are mine and I don’t feel guilty that I didn’t book any work for those weeks.

I told my therapist and he seemed genuinely shocked and told me that he was actually feeling angry for me. And asked if partial hospitalization was being considered in all of this, and I told him I don't think so. If insurance doesn't want to cover 3 hours a day, they're definitely not going to want to pay for 6 hours a day. He keeps encouraging me to be as open and honest with them because they can use that to fight for more time in the program. But besides a quick check in and filling out a sheet, there's not time to fully disclose how things are. I tried opening up at check in and the group therapist came and sat by me and said how she doesn't like talking about this stuff with me because of what's going on with H, and basically cut me off and said we'd meet to go over discharge if insurance wasn't in my favor.

The bunkhouse where I’m staying at my med school mentors’ place

H is being an *** again. This time he's mad because I don't want to play a computer game with him anymore. He says I'm not spending enough time with him. Said I'm spending more time with my dad. And he thinks I'm spending too much time with my sister. I saw her this Monday, and then like a week before that. Then he throws my sister "under the bus". Says she'll ruin everything because she's back in my life. I walked away.

I'm so tired of this life. I don't want to be here anymore.

That is one smart mentor. That view is restorative from here!

My mind is stuck in events from IOP today, and I can't seem to let them go. So I hope you guys don't mind me thinking outloud on here.
The program's psychiatrist today met with me for the first time for less than 5 minutes. She prescribed me another medication when I told her I got set up with an outside psychiatrist and met with the man yesterday, who we both agreed that I'd try a medication I've been in before. And agreed that I only want to try one medication at a time before maybe considering an anxiety med on top of it. I feel like the psychiatrist today didn't give me a chance to agree or disagree, and just sent it in after telling me about the med. I'm going to discuss it with her or her intern tomorrow depending on who is there.
She also asked to see my SH, which makes for 2 different psychiatrists in the last week to ask me that. I'm not used to psychiatrist asking to see, especially when I tell them where I cut. The intern psychiatrist didn't ask, but the outpatient psychiatrist last week asked. I know they're there to help, but they can't do anything medically if I showed them. And it feels very exposed since they're all located near my underwear. I don't know how to handle that situation.
At the end of group, a male group member leaned over and hugged me while I was sitting down. No warning, no asking, just did. I understand this is how some people are and he was trying to be nice because he was saying he knew it was potentially my last day. But I am not okay with touch, and I'm pretty sure it's against the rules in the program.
I know these things are minor and aren't deal breakers when I'm fighting to be in this program. It just made for an overwhelming and confusing day.

Hugs...

For the medication, that would bother me, too. If she called it into a pharmacy and you don't want it, you can contact the pharmacy and tell them that (I did that with something recently). I'd definitely talk about not wanting to try the other med, although sometimes it can work better to use two things together. So you may want to consider it---the p-doc should have let you decide though.

I've had a past p-doc ask to see my SH as well. I think she was looking for more medical purposes, to see the severity, if I could need stitches, check for risk of infection, etc. I understand your feeling self-conscious in general plus due to location, but assume that they're considering it in a more medical way. Like a doctor examining you.

As for the guy hugging you, I'd mention it to the group leader. It does seem like it should be against the rules--either way, he should have asked first. Then maybe the group leader can say something to him to make sure he doesn't do that again to you or another group member.