Couch 203: The Spam and Cool Whip Couch!

HUGS @@.....

My sisters soon to be ex husband is at the point where he is making her life a living nightmare. He’s fighting her on everything. The bad part is that they are still living together through this nightmare because neither one wants to give up the house and stuff in it. The lawyer said whoever leaves gives up their half of the equity when it sells and will no longer be entitled to anything in the house. Oh, and at first he said he would sign off on only getting the baby once a week but now he’s fighting her for equal part custody.

Devil's advocate, but you can't fight someone on everything all by yourself. It takes two to tango. And can anyone blame somebody for deciding they want an equal amount of time with their own kid?

No. It would be lovely if he actually wanted that time with his kid, but you see..this guy went out partying all the time and left the 2 of them at home while he was out. He wants the baby so he can say he’s a father...he never wanted any of the responsibility that comes with the baby. He is using the baby as leverage to try to get her to give up other things he wants. He’s a scumbag. Plain and simple.

Can't he say he's a father anyway?

Is this the person who decided after the baby was born that he wasn't ready to be a dad, or am I thinking of someone else?

That’s the one...

Wonder how LT is surviving the vacation week. We're thinking of you, girl!

Get a private detective to record him partying and then tell him if he fights custody you’ve got pictures.

I bet he’ll use the baby to attract women.

I should tell her to ask if we can legally do that to use against him.

The thing is that if he don’t seem like an outright unfit father-he is technically “entitled” to half custody. He’s employed, he never raised a hand to my sister or the baby. He doesn’t use drugs. He drinks when he’s out. So there is no reason why a judge wouldn’t give him 1/2 custody. He better watch driving home from
Partying. I know a lot of people. He may just end up with a DUI one of these times.

I was laying on the floor at work, which is really quite dirty by the way, in my office even though we have a janitor, because my back hurts. Stupid princess period decided to come today. And another girl at work was looking for me so I was like, hold on I'm in my office. So she came in as I got off the floor. We got to talking and it seems her princess also showed up today. She is much more irritable than me so she was complaining about a third coworker to me while I complained about my back. I'm getting too old for this crap.

My therapist emailed me to check in this morning since he's on vacation and we're not meeting until after Labor Day. He offered a call tomorrow and on Sunday and then made the mistake of saying he hoped I was ok. I responded that I was not really ok, because I'm not, using one of my many analogies/metaphors (I still don't know what the difference is between those two) for what I'm feeling, so then he said he was worried and could we talk today. I told him I needed a 5-minute warning because I'm at work and he said he'd be in touch later today. So now I've been constantly glancing for 4 hours at my gmail tab to see if he's emailed me yet. I'm feeling stressed at the moment. He said it wasn't an imposition to talk today vs. tomorrow, but it's feeling like it is one. I should probably try to relax a little bit.

Can she record him at home, like with a nanny-cam? If he doesnt do anything for the baby now, how can he demand that?

She can do that. I should tell her. That’s definitely not against the law. All nanny families record me. As long as there are no cameras in the bathroom she can get a hidden camera.

Yes. I can't yet remember what day it is and when I teach - I have panicked a couple of times thinking I missed a class I was supposed to be at (I have not missed one).

I JUST got back on to suggest that.

Or, my other suggestion, Una gets some of her relations to ah, mediate. If you know what I mean.

She should talk to her lawyer and not take legal advice from strangers on the internet or pissed off relatives.

For what it is worth - this is the arc most domestic cases go through in my experience where both parties say stuff in the beginning and then change as time goes on.

My sister's boyfriend drinks and parties. He also drives drunk and has gotten a DUI. On top of that, he has physically abused her. But he is a good father, so the courts gave both him and my sister the same amount of visitation. But of course, since the girls live with their paternal aunt, he's secretly getting more time with the girls.

I'm sorry your sister's situation is so messed up. My sister's is too. Sadly, I don't think there's anything the court will do if he says he wants equal custody.

They went to a few rounds of mediation too. They couldn’t come to an agreement.the lawyer she consulted with told her the guy they used for mediation is one of the best and he is surprised this could not get resolved through mediation with him. But then the lawyer also said that her soon to be ex husband is probably going to try to drag this out as long as possible. He’s pulling stunts like closed his bank account and her lawyer said that’s unfortunate because even if he spent it all he still owes her half.

I know in the grand scheme of things this piffling but these kittle disappointments add up. My ipad says its scharging but is losing charge fast. Everything indicates its ok.

She has a lawyer now. Because mediation didn’t work. She does everything her lawyer advises.

My Ipad is in the land of the lost along with my last pair of glasses. When I got my new pair of glasses I got the extra warranty but they kept telling me it doesn't replace lost glasses (bc I told them I lost my other pair). I'm good at losing stuff. I hope you can get your Ipad sorted soon. HUGS Kit

No. The courts won’t do anything if he wants equal custody. We are trying to explain that to her. The mediator told them..you can drag this out to go in front of a judge but they will grant half custody.

The lawyer also told her that judges get annoyed when they have to rule for parents that couldn’t come up with a proper arrangement themselves.

Hey, I wasn’t giving legal advice. I was giving treat-a-jackhole-like-a-jackhole advice.

You just reminded me i got new glasses in May and she adjusted them but i have one ear higher than the other and the glasses are wonky and make my face look odd. I have been too depressed to go back so i will do this today. I am feeling a lot better