Couch 206: The Hersilia Couch

It was like this wave where I felt I could breathe again. It just seems likte this back and forth has gone on for many years and it sounds exhausting. Artie deserve to be free!!

NP in the UK we have walk in centers, where you can see a doctor on the same day. Maybe you have something similar in your area?

I'm listening if you want to talk.

We have those here too. My supermarket even has one, weirdly enough.

I have had a couple of medical appointments lately where I assumed they couldn't do anything and was pleasantly surprised to be wrong. So maybe it is worth running it past some kind of medical professional, if you don't have a gynecologist? Eight days seems like a very long time.

A few thoughts artie - your t and your h arent two different issues, they are the SAME issue.

Except maybe for the second PPS?

Also feel has 5 e's.

My cousin got into fostering cats when she just had one cat. Now she has four cats (three former fosters) and a foster. Last night one of them destroyed an antique dining chair and another broke a 30-lb. mirror. Definitely not quiet!

LOL. Thanks. Ive decided to embrace my bitterness. This guy is the same guy i would yell at for breathing when i worked with him.

Interesting thoughts. Thank you una. You are right about me going back and forth between them based on how I think they feel. Why's it so hard for me to just know what I feel? Cuz I'm still afraid of hurting other people, don't know how to let other adults take care of themselves. Etc.

Your pps tho isn't the case with my h.that was almost 21 yrs and 8 months or so ago but I was absolutely trying to get pregnant when I did. I didn't think it would happen that fast, but I wanted to.

Oops I meant feeeeel.

Its really not an easy thing to read this stuff you guys. Probably the harder it is to read, the more truth there is in it, huh. So thank you all for being honest with me about what you see.

HUGS @ArtieSwimsOn

On my lunch break now and going back and reading some of my old posts. dang.

And deciding instead of whining and lamenting this constantly repeating pattern I should start trying to see it as one of them there golden opportunities - the chance (that I keep being given over and over again and running away from) to actually figure out what I feel, me, Artie, apart from what anybody else feels. If I finally DO that, figure out what I want then I can start working towards that and this damn stupid pattern will stop.

Sitting at my wound care appointment and I'm always the youngest one here. Not seeing the doctor I normally see which makes me nervous.

I hope your appointment goes okay @SheHulk07 Thinking of you!!! Kit

I hope that at least the 8 people are appreciative. (I had to look up what didactic means. )

I do not do change well at all. Even hearing about possible change puts me in a tailspin. Up to this point, I had objectively been doing pretty well. Workplace upheaval is the last thing I need. Is it rude to ask R whether we'll have a session next week before we start on Thursday?

I don't think it's rude you could start the question with something like I've had some changes happening at work and really don't want any more surprises we're still on for next week right? Or something like that

I don't think it is rude @LostOnTheTrail I think it is good to know those sorts of things up front. HUGS Kit

It ran late...I was there for an hour and had to tell them I had another appointment to get to. So they finally had the doctor come in very fast and got me out 10 minutes later than I needed to be. So I was 10 minutes late to my pdoc, but thankfully he's also running behind.

My shoulder hurts. I think I have been sleeping on it weird but it is bothering me a lot. I might try some heat packs or ice packs later.

Mini couch poll: Those who SH, have you told your primary care doctor about it? If so, how did they react? If the reaction wasn't ideal, how do you wish she/he had reacted?

I'm giving a presentation to a bunch of primary care doctors and would like input from people who SH. I used to SH, though I haven't in over a year. I'm going to lead with that so that people listen and pay attention... always a risk to disclose to other professionals, but I think it'll make them take my talk seriously. (And they already know I have depression so it isn't like a completely new revelation.)

My pcp knows I self harm and so does my obgyn. My pcp was the one managing my meds before I found my pdoc, so it wasn't a surprise to her. Sometimes she was empathic but other times she'd just tell me I need to stop. Like she told me once "Just stop. Don't do. Just stop." It seems to depend on her mood how she reacts.

Someone telling me to "just stop" would really make me angry--communicates a lack of understanding of the problem imho.

I didn't so much tell my primary care doctor about SH, she just saw all the scars all over my arms and said, "Oh you are a self-mutilator" (I hate that term by the way). So she made me go see a psychiatrist for a psych consult. It was actually a good thing because it led to my Pdoc that I have now. She tends to treat me with kid gloves though. Like when she takes out stitches from SH she will ask me a bunch of times if I am okay. The thing that bothers me is that she will say something like, if you feel like harming yourself OR SOMEONE ELSE then go to the ER or call the ambulance. Like just because I SH I would hurt someone else? No. No. No. So in my patient notes, it talks about if I have suicidal or homicidal idealation and I have never had homicidal thoughts. So that bothers me. That she assumes that I would hurt someone else. She is good about asking me if I am following up with my T and Pdoc and she always always always asks me if I am okay even if I am there for something completely else.

I don't think C has ever had any discussions with doctors other than psychiatrists about SH. Even the time we had surgery, I don't remember it being addressed. That seemed preferable. I don't care to talk to people I see 1-4x/year about mental health issues or history. C made the mistake of answering yes to the sexual abuse history question at our last doc's office, and we never heard the end of it.

I don't SH that often but have never told my PCP about it. And unless I was seeing her within the week after, there aren't any lasting scars, so she wouldn't have noticed. T and ex-T, plus ex-MC know, as do current p-doc and my most recent ex-pdoc.