Couch 207: The spiced gingerbread couch

I started on our Christmas lists...we’re trying to encourage family to buy fewer gifts for D (only grandchild—and on Hs side there’s two sets of grandparents and an aunt/uncle) because she gets overwhelmed with stuff to open and we only have so much room in the house. Plus it’s so hard to come up with ideas—she’s not like a NT 8-year-old who would have a huge wish list for Santa. Like I’d rather get some gift cards for, say, stuff we can download on Kindle Fire for her or for this indoor playground she likes. We’ll try...

This is true. I didn’t think of that.

It’s hard since she’s the only grandchild. You know what you can do? Maybe if they buy her too many you can put them away till another time unwrapped? Like maybe just tell D that she doesn’t have to open them up all right now if she doesn’t want to. I would think if they know she gets overwhelmed they would offer money for her bank account (if she has one)

I just spent the past hour wrapping said presents. Now I have to wrap my nieces gifts and the twins presents.

I sent my T an excerpt from my journal yesterday. It was pretty raw. I'm a little nervous about seeing him tomorrow morning; not sure what he's going to do with it.

That's a good idea, that we can put some away for later. It's just I feel the pressure from the family to open them, then feel somewhat responsible if she isn't excited about opening more (at least she's gotten more into the "present" idea the past year or two!). It's the whole people-pleasing part of me. I know I'm not fully responsible for my D's actions--and they know she's on the spectrum--but I still feel some responsibility for how she is at holidays. Which makes Christmas (and her birthday) even more stressful for me than they'd normally be...Meanwhile, H is just "Eh, whatever"--these things slide right off his back.

I bet P would have some good suggestions about this stuff..

Oh good point! And perhaps Dr. T in the sense of not feeling like I'm responsible for D living up to their expectations of a grandchild at Christmas...

I really need to get back on my BC. I've become really moody since I ran out and I keep having weepy spells over nothing. Just found myself with tears running down my face for no reason I could identify. Feel fine one minute and the next I feel intense hopelessness. I hate this.

No, I am not pregnant.

Kidlet is not on the spectrum but he gets "done" with opening presents, I've known a few kids like that so it is not unusual. There is no harm in just saying, I think we will put some gifts aside to open later are there any that you really want her to open? I know you said you like to people please but I really don't think it is a problem to say. After all the fun of opening is in seeing what is inside and if D is over it and mad that is no fun for anyone.

You can also try and email or text pictures of gifts being opened or used, I do that for overseas people and I know they appreciate seeing things in use.

I woke up anxious and questioning all my recent decisions one was to cancell the psych evaluations for my daughter who was keen on them and has changed her mind now and i am asking my self why did i cancel them when i should have left everything as it the process ha sto be started again so she goes back on the waiting list. I cancelled them mainly because she passed all her subject last term and i thoguht maybe she doesnt have any learning problems but what if she does and blah blah blah .

Yeah, I was wondering if we could put an actual limit on number of gifts to open. Like, OK, she can open...I don't know, like 5 gifts per person/couple (so at H's family, that would be 15). If you want to give us more than that, just put it in a bag or something, we'll take it home, have her open it later. Or, depending on what it is, save for her birthday in April.

And it helps knowing this can be a thing for NT kids, too.

My professor finally graded the first weeks assignments and I have a 100%, so that's comforting to know. I'm almost all done with everything except participation posts for the entire class...just 1 more discussion and the longest paper.

I've been feeling like crap today, just generally not feeling right but no fever or anything. I think I'm just physically worn out.

LT, before my d started enjoying opening her gifts (ETA: about age 9-10, I think), I'd set them aside and she'd open one a day which was about her limit. It was actually kind of fun.

I told everyone ahead of time in an excited way what we were going to do and how much fun it was going to be. I dunno if they actually bought it but I was SO EXCITED! about my GREAT IDEA! that they couldn't really argue, if you get what I mean. A little overwhelming enthusiasm can be very persuasive.

OK, I like this idea! I mean, I imagine my in-laws would want more than one a day (for Christmas at least--well, Christmas Eve, which is when we do gifts with them), but I'd think we could figure something out.

My boss called to check on me (which is extremely nice) - however, he is marking me absent from work tomorrow as well because I'm still short of breath. I really need to recover and get back to work. I'm starting to worry that I'll never be well again.

LT, I know nothing about kids on the spectrum. But I'm wondering if having the presents not wrapped would help? I know for my niece, she only liked the presents that she could interact with. I took all my gifts out of their boxes, and put them all in a bag. Actually, you could do that too! Put all the presents in a large bag and let your daughter pull out whatever she wants to. If it's one toy, great! Maybe she'll want 2? But then it can go at her pace, what interest her the most, without you playing favorite to any of your families.

Again, I have no knowledge about this sort of thing. I'm just thinking of being overwhelmed by gifts like my niece was on her birthday.

Im sorry, i dont know how to diagnose asthma / bronchitis otherwise i would but maybe you need another round of antibiotics? Or for a z-pac, sometimes it really doesnt take effect until the last (fifth) day. I will be all in a panic, then at the last minute im like oh okay, i AM feeling better. But it takes me the whole five days in bed moaning and groaning.

My husband just said to me "I know you have bronchitis and you have to cough but if you could please try not to cough because it wakes me up"

So now all I can think about is coughing - and I'm coughing more. Poor baby (talking about H) might wake up a couple times in the night while I've strained all the muscles between my ribs and it hurts to breathe. He also quarantined me to my bedroom because he doesn't like the smell of Vick's vapor rub (I'm trying everything here).

Good idea. I dont want to go back to my cousins xmas's because i was TOTALLY weirded out by their honestly it was like they bought every toy at the store, big, little, and in between. I could not wrap my head around it. I had FIVE blocks when i was a kid. My parents probably stole them from a cousin. You cannot build, add, or spell shyte with just five blocks!!

OH NO HE DI'NT!!!

Send him out to get you some sugar free robutussin with guafinesen. And chicken soup. And chocolate. And tell him to shut up.

You could spell shyte.

And build a very primitive arch.

He did indeed - because he has no empathy. On top of everything I won't be able to go to the doc tomorrow because H has to take my car (we are getting snow and he can't drive his car in the snow and mine is a SUV). I'm either going to go to my PCP on Tuesday or possibly urgent care tomorrow night if I'm not feeling better.

Thanks Everyone for listening to me whine

I'm starting to get worried tonight but don't want to say too much and cross any boundaries. Plus this isn't the right forum for it. H isn't home and I'm worried about when he does come home. I'm really hoping pdoc goes well tomorrow though.

Thanks, Scarlet. That's actually something we did for a couple years (much to her grandparents' disappointment). But then last year she suddenly seemed into unwrapping presents. But they had to actually be wrapped--if they were in gift bags, she didn't seem excited about them! Unfortunately, we didn't figure that out until "Santa" had already come. Because she kept asking if there were more presents to unwrap, and I'd show her the bags, and she was like, "No, *presents*." So I had to call my mom (we were headed there that afternoon) and ask if she could wrap whatever they'd put in bags! Who knows how she'll be this year...

A big part of it is just that it's so much...stuff. I'm pretty sure from what she was saying at dinner Saturday that my mother-in-law is going to buy every "Frozen II" item available for her...