Couch 209: The Kummer Couch

Suddenly, I feel like I sound very British. Do people outside of the UK know what I am muntering on about?

OMG. We have this holiday luncheon today at work. We already had a holiday party. Now we are having a holiday luncheon. I handed out Christmas presents to my coworkers and got like four in return today which was nice, but I am kind of over having to celebrate the holidays with my coworkers. Ugh. I'm just complaining. Don't mind me. The next two weeks it will be very quiet at work because so many people are taking off. I just have to get through this one more luncheon thing. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Don't think I've ever used a hot water bottle, but I have a heating pad and an electric blanket!

Now you are talking! An electric blanket! Surely the Rolls Royce of cosy sleeping.

Today, in discussing how to deal with an issue with H, Dr. T said, “imagine that we were married,” then proceeded to talk about how he’d handle it in H’s role. He’s never phrased it that way before. Might have said, “if I were talking to a spouse about it.” He just seems more comfortable putting himself in my place or Hs place lately. As he’s also said if he were in my place, he wouldn’t know how to handle some stuff with D either. I find it to be helpful and more validating than “others would feel the same.” The marriage one was just interesting though.

How did the marriage comment make you feel ?

I told my T that I didn't really want to get divorced [from her] today. Also one time she thought I was quitting and she blurted out, "You're breaking up with me?!"

For this current therapy break, we arranged to do two email check-ins, the first being yesterday and the second on Monday. We didn't decide on any details in session other than that he'd email me first. Yesterday he emailed me and asked if there were any updates on my divorce (which had a deadline date yesterday) and my upcoming trip and said feel free to tell him anything that's been on my mind. He said he would respond to my email on Monday which would give him time for a thoughtful response. I mean, I guess it's okay, but it feels like a really long time to wait for a response to the things I said in my email. I guess I have something to look forward to on Monday at least. I probably sound ungrateful, but I'm not. I'm just glad we're having any contact.

You can be impatient AND grateful. They are not mutually exclusive.

I watch Escape to the Country daily so thats pretty much an hour immersed in british talk and kitchen-diners and Welsh geography and history!

When I terminated with the T I saw twice after temporarily leaving Dr. T, I said to H how I felt awkward telling him I was going back to my former T. And H said, “Basically, you’re saying, ‘Sorry, I’m going back to my ex-boyfriend!’”

Well, you are keeping good company because the only people who watch that here are the permanently hungover, those of us who have lost the will to live, and chronic procrastinators. Naturally, I fall into all three categories. More and more, I think we would get along very well, young Una.

How do you feel about that comment? My partner "jokingly" refers to my therapist as "my girlfriend" and I hate it. It makes me really angry. I have asked her (my partner) to stop doing it, but she persists because she is both unruly and annoying. I feel really uncomfortable with the slightest suggestion of something even tonally sexual in my therapy.

That’s a good question. It was surprising, and I tried to conceal any reaction to it. Felt nice in a way that he was putting himself into the situation. Made me feel more connected, I think. Trying to not read anything else into it.

It did bother me some. Because it made me wonder if he was jealous of or felt threatened by Dr. T. Of course, there was the stuff with ex-MC that has bothered H at times (understandably!) but H seems to agree when I say my relationship with Dr. T is different than with ex-MC. But there are occasional moments (that comment bring one of them) where I wonder if he’s bothered more than he lets on.

Made it through the work Christmas luncheon. Yay, that's over!

No bonus or hazard pay. Or hazmat suit.

I'm sorry @Jersey 4 you really do deserve a bonus. HUGS Kit

Sorry to hear that. A hazmat suit may need to be part of your next contract.

Yes. I’ll negotiate one with the next family for sure!

Thanks. It’s okay though. I wasn’t expecting one since I’ve only been there since September.

Yes, but what you expect and what you deserve are two different things. Taking care of three children, one of whom is rather difficult, I mean, you are taking care of these people's most valuable possessions (not that they own their children or anything, just can't think of a better way to say it). I think you deserve quite a big bonus. We got a small bonus at work this year. I didn't think we were going to get one because the new owners just took over in mid-June and the books haven't been great, but we made a little money so they gave us a little money, not a lot, but more than I expected. Did I deserve more? Yeah, most definitely. Did I expect more? No. I think you deserve a whole lot of bonuses and they could at least give you a nice thank you card with a gift card to go out to dinner or something. Just know that I think you have done remarkably well in this job and if they didn't tell you thank you, shame on them. I'll say it for them. "Thank you Jersey for taking care of these precious children."

BTW Jersey I could never do your job. Not in a million years. I barely can take care of myself, and I don't even do that well. I can't imagine taking care of three little ones.

Slumber thank you SO much for this.