Couch 209: The Kummer Couch

@chihirochild Please stay safe. Thinking of you.

@SheHulk07 Weekends can be tough for me sometimes too.

Thank you. I just meant here at the hospital they don't have much help during the weekend. 2 groups today, and the first one was ran my son's old occupational therapist. They don't have any other support in place during the weekend, and don't see the actual psychiatrist until Monday.

Hugs, Chihiro. I hope you hear back from your T and that he's helpful. It's good you're taking steps to keep yourself safe. I'm sorry you're struggling so much...

Hugs, SheHulk. You haven't messed anything up. Think of it like you needed emergency surgery, like you had appendicitis. You have to take care of you first before you can take care of others, like your kids.

Happy Sunday couch. Wake up at 5 am feeling a sharp pain in my back. Apparently her majesty did not appreciate the peasant rolling over and encroaching on her territory so she gave me a poke. Cats are a-holes.

Thanks, everyone. T stayed on the phone with me for a half an hour and had me lock the offending things in my car for the night with a promise that a) I'd call him back if I couldn't stay safe b) I'd schedule myself a bunch of things to do today so I'm not sitting at home contemplating my misery.

I'm running a 5k this morning (or, rather, run-walking a 5k this morning) so that'll take up some time. I also called a friend and she's going to hang out with me for a bit this afternoon. The local ice skating rink just opened up too so I'll ice skate and then watch a movie afterwards.

I have four shifts in the ED coming up this week, with a break Thursday/Friday. I'm going to go skiing and stay in an AirBnB on Thursday night for something to do.

Chihirochild I'm glad your T called you and stayed on the phone for a while to support you. Hope the running and other activities will help a bit. Coming to terms with painful childhood events is just so tough. Please keep yourself safe.

Ran the whole thing. My time was abysmal, some 45 minutes, but at least I didn’t have to walk.

That's awesome you were able to run the whole thing! Try to focus on that instead of your time. Congrats!

Going to see Frozen 2 in half an hour. Son is inisisting on wearing his Elsa dress again. I don't know what MIL would say but I say ok!

Glad you're letting him wear the dress! My D saw it with her grandmother yesterday and really liked it (she didn't even ask "Is it almost over?" during it, which she normally does during movies).

I'm really hating L right now. I've been having a hard time with my depression and my financial situation. She talked to me on the phone yesterday for 30mins. Today I look at my bank account and see that she charged me for the full hour! One, she didn't warn me that she was going to charge me, and two, it just probes that our relationship is solely based on money. I'm besides myself. I thought she cared and loved me. Clearly she doesn't. And I called and emailed her last night upset with her. I told her not to email or call me, and she hasn't. I know that that might make sense, but the deal is if I call her, she calls me back. No matter what.

I'm going to cancel all my appointments and go back to T. I'm so mad and hurt right now. I wish I was dead!

You finished though and you were faster then anyone else sat on the couch....

I can understand the strong emotions you're feeling now.

I think charging without telling you first about her policy isn't okay.

Even then it could have been the actual time, not rounded up.

I hope your back is okay.

Perhaps her royal highness needs to find new accommodation more fitting to her status.

https://www.amazon.com/Petsure-Tent-...4069XSCXAHX956

5% off with a coupon too.

Thats exactly what MY pee brain was thinking!

There can always be a post birthday party and the 4 year old will be dancing again soon and most likely won't even remember it.

Twin pee brains!

Unless MIL is coming too, she doesn't need updates on everything.

Well done for putting yourself first.

She must be watching the skippitybap youtube videos, with the tony baker voiceovers? He cracks me up so hard!

Does she usually charge for phone calls? If so, does she usually prorate them? Is it possible that billing you for a full hour was a simple mistake? I don't think this proves that the relationship is solely based on money. It's certainly part of the picture though. I'm sorry you're feeling hurt right now, but maybe you should take some time before you cancel all your sessions with L. Maybe talk to her at your next session about how hurtful this felt.

Thanks Lemon. H didn't celebrate his birthday since I asked him not to do anything without me, so when I get we'll do a cake and all that. I've never missed a birthday until this year which is just hard for me.

I had H order a dvd and pictures of the recital, so at least I'll have that. And you're right, that she won't remember it. And she'll have another recital in May.

Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sure she does care and love you. My T charges for emails that take longer than a certain amount of time (and doesn't really allow unscheduled phone calls). It took me some time to understand that it doesn't mean he doesn't care or that it's all about money--he's said if he gets paid for his time (beyond 15 minutes--it's free if shorter than that), he's not going to be resentful or annoyed at clients for contacting him. Because I had some issues with that regarding outside contact with ex-T and ex-MC--who never charged for that--I've actually come to appreciate current T's stance. (It's like his way of taking care of both himself and his clients.) However, he does prorate them in 15-minute chunks of time. I suspect your T charging you for a full session was likely an error. She may have just hit a wrong button or typed the wrong billing code.

In terms of her not calling you--you said you told her not to call or email you back. So she's taking you at your word. I imagine my T would do the same (as that's one of his things, taking people at their word). If you *did* want to hear back from her, then you should have told her that. Her not contacting you doesn't mean she doesn't care--it's that she's respecting your request that she not call. Before you decide to stop seeing her entirely, I'd at least go for a session and talk about what happened. I'd hate for you to throw the relationship away over what could have just been a billing error. So it's worth a session to talk it over. Or, if you don't feel you want to see her right now, then call or email and say you *do* actually want a call or email back from her before you come in.

ETA: Just wanted to add that I *was* really upset with my T for a couple times when he charged me--the first couple times, he only charged me for 15 extra minutes, which was $45. But then once he charged for $90 for a half hour--which is more than I pay out of pocket for a regular session with insurance. I certainly would have preferred a full 50-55 minutes face to face than an email for the same expense. And another time, what he replied really hurt me (I think that was a $90 one, too--it's only been a couple times). And I was already really hurting, so the charge felt like a slap in the face on top of it. So just wanted to share that to show that I definitely get your reaction...

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but it's kind of sad for your kid that his birthday didn't get celebrated because you have fomo and wanted to wait to celebrate because it's hard for you that you're not there.

What if you really didn't want her to call, though? That would be annoying to be completely helpless to make that fact clear.

When you say "no matter what" I kind of wonder if L took that less literally than you did. Maybe she was thinking on it more from her side of things, like no matter what she had going on, she was agreeing to call you back. Unless you two specifically talked about a scenario where you would tell her not to contact you, I would have assumed myself that it would have been the exception to the rule. Could that be the reason?