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#1
Dec 29, 2007, 02:38 PM
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i know i haven't been on here much,but i need help,the stress of my T not paying the payments on the loans i took out for her is to much for me, i have them calling my home and sending letters in the mail for paymeant,my husband dosen't know about this so i try to get the phone befor he dose,T knows if he found out he would kill me,i have told her to please pay on time but she never dose,i can't take this any more
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#2
Dec 29, 2007, 02:56 PM
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Let her know she has a month to pay them in full, and if she doesn't then you'll be taking her to court about it because it has gone too far. Enough is enough.
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#3
Dec 29, 2007, 03:27 PM
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Maybe it is just me, but I think it was innapropiate and unprofessionl for your T to even ask you to take out loans for her let alone go through with it. I agree that you should take her to court. I would sit down and talk with your husband. He may be angry, but you are going to need his support if this goes to court.
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#4
Dec 29, 2007, 03:28 PM
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Silenthill I am so sorry that you have found yourself in this very difficult situation! It was very unethical for your therapist to borrow money from you to start with...a big fat no no. However I do agree with Echos about confronting her with your situation and ask for immediate re-payment of the loan. I hope you have some kind of documentation to the effect that she owes you money. If you have to file a complaint against her with the APA ethics board. Hope this helps and that you are able to soon resolve this very difficult situation that you find yourself in. Take care for now....
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#5
Dec 29, 2007, 03:59 PM
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silenthill, I am sorry about this tremendous stress you are under. I urge you to call your lawyer immediately for advice. Your T should never have asked you to take out loans for her. It is very inappropriate. Tell her immediately she must come to the bank with you and have the loans transferred into her name only. If she refuses to do this, see your lawyer and take her to court. This is ruining your credit and costing you a lot of money. Please tell your husband you made a big mistake and now need his help and support to fix this.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#6
Dec 29, 2007, 04:17 PM
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you might also want to talk to her licensing board.. this would be a violation of most regulating policies for sure. i'm sorry that i don't know you or more about your situation, but i am assuming you are attached to her - yes? If so it must be so very hard. But this is a form of abuse sweetie, a huge violation of her power and your trust. Like others who misuse power, she is likely hurting other clients as well. It is no different IMO than a T who misuses power sexually, it's all about power.
i know what it is like to be stuck unable to "betray" someone you love... and we all know what being afraid of being in trouble feels like..... but please, you can't go on like this.. if you in any way can, talk to your H... and a lawyer. and think... what would you tell me, or some other client who was in this postion? many blessings 
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#7
Dec 29, 2007, 04:43 PM
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thank you all for the help,i wish i could tell husband but he would hurt me,i have been seeing my T for 5 yrs,and my husband fights me on going to see her, i can only take my boys to and from school and see my T and go to meetings he sets up or mother and the church,thats the only time i can leave my home
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#8
Dec 29, 2007, 04:51 PM
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I'm sorry you cannot tell your husband. Which of the suggestions that people have made here will work for you?
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#9
Dec 29, 2007, 11:03 PM
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(((silenthill)))
Your situation seems very challenging. Can you get another T? Seems to be like you are being taken advantage of by your T and under physical threat from your husband.
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
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#10
Dec 30, 2007, 12:54 AM
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Silent,
Is there anyone IRL that you trust enough to tell them? It is extremely unethical and unprofessional for a therapist to borrow money from a client, and even more so when it's money you don't have, and you have to take out a loan for her financial problem, and even worse when you are in a situation where you are afraid and have little power. Your T should be helping you to get more power and feel more in control, not taking advantage of you. I would definitely talk to the licensing boards, a lawyer, a women's shelter (they will be able to help you with this issue too), and anyone else you know you can trust. You deserve to be treated better than this. TC, Rap
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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