Couch 212: The French Vanilla couch

Easy solution while waiting: file a complaint with the EEOC and let the feds investigate.

I'm looking forward to my session with Regular T on Saturday but part of me is dreading it as well. I remember next to nothing about our previous session. I think she did some EMDR but I can't be sure. I don't think she knew I was dissociated. I don't think I realized until later either. Sometimes I can tell that I'm going into it, but other times I can't tell until I'm coming out of it. Problem is I have no idea what we talked about last time so it is hard to build on that. I know the smart thing to do would be go in and be like, I don't remember the last session at all....but am I smart enough to do that....No....

Maybe I can talk about why people (why do I) dissociate? Pastor T says it is fear based. I don't know what I had to fear last session.

Letting a stranger in.

Letting someone help you.

Changing.

Just for starters.

(Every single therapy session I've ever had I start to fall asleep 25-35 minutes in because of #1 above. Just because you don't think you're afraid doesn't mean you aren't.)

Dr. T went well today. Was all stuff about my D and my being a parent. Dr. T was really supportive and saying how I’m doing as much as I can, that I can’t expect perfection. And it helped hearing that from him. He’s trying to help me with thinking about how I am as a mom. To give myself more credit. And he said he’d be honest if he didn’t think I was doing enough for her. Which I believe. So all that he said meant a lot. Felt the connection I think had been missing Monday. And he gave me a “take care” when I left.

I'm struggling at the moment. Today's session brought a lot up.

Penny wanted to drop in and say hello!

it is getting so so hard to stick to my resolve i dont know how im feeling .maybe manipulated

Gosh, Artie...Penny is so beautiful! Please proffer affection on my behalf.

Aw, hi, Penny!

Did you tell her you have a new t? Did you tell her, "Its not me, its you"?

Zoom thing done. It wasn't a disaster once it was me and not the university in charge.

Kicking off spring break by reading first pages stories for my coming of age. We each have six, and I started with what was obviously the best and now I'm down to the two who think declaiming and dumplng all emotions on the page is writing a story.

And if anyone is curious, mine's about a guy who lives in a mausoleum.

my husband said he had a vision of me talking to her and talking to her etc...an then the image panned out and it is me sitting in a chair in front of a grave stone with the caption "it is forever"

Husband is thoroughly unhappy at his job and was asking me all kinds of questions about MY job - the last thing I want is him to work with me. I told him that he can work at another site.

i told her that if i continue having issues im not against seeing another therapist and her responce was to get teary and say "you would go see another therapist and not come back to see me " i was trying to be nice and i said that i would hope that she would have retired and all and enjoying her life . her response is "i am retired and im only seeing clients i enjoy working with" im trying so hard to not hurt her feelings bucause im trying not to be a horrible mean person but she is just not accepting that i just feel it is time for us to stop . it seems like im going to end up saying i want to quit seeing you because you are loosing your mind

She called me 3 times tuesday asking where i am thinking it was thursday. i can accept it once but to call 3 times and have the same conversation is not ok

What if you make her a thank you card. To where the only point of the session is your thanking her. And my t REALLY wanted to make sure i WANTED to leave, that it was MY decision. I almost felt like he was making me repeat it so he could get it on tape.

Although i can see where if she is not remembering well. Maybe you will have to say something like "its time" and keep repeating it.

That is where a written note, thank you and goodbye, last session, might help reinforce the message?

We have crazy people calling us for free, we dont need to pay for it

right today she said that this is the first im talking to her about this. although we spent the whole session last week on it. i reminded her of this and she said i kind of remember something about it

Wow that would be really hard. I wouldn't know what to do to get out of that situation. I had one session with Regular T where she acted very strangely and I thought she was losing her mind. But then after that she seemed normal. Then recently she thought I said a word which is discriminatory and not even in my vocabulary and I said nothing of the sort and it made me think of that session where she was whacked out. I don't know what I would do if she were to lose her mind, either again, or permanently. I think you have a real conundrum there. You want to be nice and not hurt her feelings, but she isn't getting that you are trying to say goodbye. That would be really hard. HUGS Kit

Shes not right in the head. When my old chiropractor got alzheimers, he had a new guy in the office running things.

Youre going to her house, right? Is somebody else there?

even today not 10 min after i left she called me again to check on how i am doing and to tell me she felt good about the session today and that she will need to talk about some of her feelings about my decision . when will she see it isnt about her .maybe i may be being selfish but omg thought therapy was suppose to be about me .im getting really bitter towards her because i feel im needing to take care of her and her feelings and im not doing so well at that as hard as i try . im feeling manipulated

it is so hard because i dont want to hurt her feelings but it seems like she isnt going to accept anything else because she wont accept it is just time to stop like a therapist with good boundaries would do

for those of you who think it would be great to have a T who would call to check to see if you are ok,completely over rated. just saying

yes i go to her house alone . i think part of the problem .she has no supervisor to answer to .im not sure but i thnk something happened with the group she rented an office from because one week she just called telling me we were going to be meeting at her house that she no longer has her office .she had nothing good to say about the person incharge of the offices .so i think they were on to her issues and maybe didnt want her practicing.i dont know