Couch 214: The chihiro couch

It's therapy day so i took a shower this morning. I noticed the bathtub was draining slowly but there wasn't any hair in the hair catcher thingy. When I got out the floor was covered in water and it sounded like a waterfall draining into my crawlspace. I don't want to deal with this BS right now. Also I'm on day 15 of my latest period and I'm feeling a little cranky about that.

Back to work full time which is great except that I'm bored!! Oh well, can't have everything! I had a telephone session with Regular T on Saturday. It was a pretty light session. She said I sounded really cheerful. I guess I was. I was feeling good at the time. We made some new goals. She is still pushing me to journal, but I feel like posting on PC is kind of like journalling at times. It was still nice to talk to her. I admit, I'm starting to have thoughts, wondering if I need therapy at this time. Much less two therapists. But then I know I have really down times where I'm struggling a lot so I don't want to make any rash decisions. Just when I feel good, it feels like a waste. When I feel bad, I don't feel like going. It's sort of a conundrum. Oh well, I guess I'll sort it eventually.


I'm tired today. I had a migraine last night. Kept waking me up. I had to end up taking two imitrex. So now my muscles are in pain, not quite spasming but almost. And my temperature is off because of having the migraine. I'm cold even though I shouldn't be.


Today is a good day for me. I met a goal--a therapy goal--so I feel good about that. I gotta keep on keeping on and get to the next goal now.

PS I don't like Puccini's opera's either.


HUGS to anyone who wants one! Kit

Hello, wonderful people. I hope you all are doing well.

I am and I’m not. I’m lucky that I have full time work during all of this, but things are slow and so I’m having to come up with things to do. School is okay; I’m going to take 2 classes per quarter starting next quarter. My mental health has good days and bad days.

Penny says hello.

Awww Hello Penny!

I emailed T1 and all he had to say was asking if I was safe and if I had any luck on the IOP thing. I texted T2 and haven't heard back from him yet.

The griefquakes are becoming more frequent.

So, a change I'm going to keep up once this Covid thing is over (or at least if/when life goes back to semi-normalcy) is to continue supporting small businesses more than, say, Amazon. I bought D a Shel Silverstein book from an independent bookstore in a nearby city, and they included a note thanking me for helping to keep their dream alive and how much joy they'd gotten from the book in the past. It made me cry. I've stepped back from ordering from Amazon because things are taking longer, and this is maybe a weird positive side benefit in all this. The same with supporting local breweries--they now allow beer delivery in my state (just since Covid stay-at-home started), and we're ordering from different breweries each week. And we've found that the smaller, independent grocery stores near us are a better place to find things like eggs and soymilk. I mean, I'm sure we'll still go back to Costco for some things because cheaper (especially stuff like paper towels), but maybe we'll shop at the smaller stores more often, even if it's a bit more expensive. (We were already mostly going to local restaurants that aren't chains or that only have like 5 total locations, so that's staying the same.)

I just hope most of the small businesses around here can come back.

We've been trying to support the local restaurants during this COVID 19 thing. We are eating out way more than we usually would because we are trying to stimulate the economy--even if it means paying more to have it delivered (helps the restaurants and the delivery folks). We don't have a lot of small businesses that are open right now but I work in a small business and that PPP loan is sure a lifesaver.

Same here...

I've been crying on and off today. H and I did an intake thing for couples counseling that ended with him being mad at me and me being upset. I told him already that he needs to work on himself and no ethical T will do couples counseling with DV/CPS involved.

HUGS @SheHulk07

I have been wondering/hoping what self-isolation behaviors will continue when this is over. Like, more cooking at home? (Not always healthier, but usually so.) More walking and outside exercise? (Sunlight is good, plus exercise generally.)

I'm in my last Zoom thing for a month.

ETA: except for Info.

Hugs, I'm sorry... I've heard similarly that most couples counselors won't work with a couple if there's ongoing DV going on.

My friends in Germany got the gift that I ordered for their son's graduation on June 5th! I got a coin proof set for 2020. I usually get graduates silver dollars for the year they graduate but for some reason I didn't see it on the mint website so I got a different gift set for him. I hope he likes it. They are American--stationed in Germany. The son is headed to Duke in the autumn.

I feel really bad right now. Therapy sucks and being at home during lockdown is soul-suckingly isolating but work is even worse.

Anyone else like how can it possibly already be May?

And happy Star Wars day: May the fourth be with you! Lol!

And for some reason at work today it was donut Monday instead of donut Friday!

Ugh, and they just decided that instead of working the day shift for the next five days I'll be back on nights for another five-day stretch. If they'd freaking told me that earlier I wouldn't have spent all this effort re-acclimating to being awake in the daytime!

Oh but tomorrow is revenge of the fifth!

Tomorrow is also Cinco de Mayo and Taco Tuesday converging into one event. I’ve spent my life preparing for this.

We had 2 other Ts before that worked with us and it didn't turn out good either time. This time I'm less hurt by being told they won't work with us because I'm not invested in it. I told H that he needs to work on himself and a marriage T that I consulted with said he should be in DV classes and anger management classes before they'd consider doing therapy together.

I'm also feeling ungrateful and angry at H for spending as much as he did on my mother's day present. I know it's flowers because my kids were asking me which ones I liked off the website. I gave them a list and none of them were even close to what he paid. Nothing is making me happy right now.