Couch 214: The chihiro couch

Thanks!


And words! I love words!

Hugs, Scarlet, that sounds really challenging. I guess your H and dad wouldn't be willing to help at all? I agree that they *might* be better behaved at your house. As for the 2-year-old, can she just wear pull-ups the whole time? I mean, nothing to stop her from pulling them down and going on the floor, I guess, but it could possibly help? Also, 2 seems kind of young for full potty training, but maybe I'm remembering wrong (my D was late anyway due to being on the spectrum), so maybe it partly was that she wasn't developmentally ready to be potty trained? For the 1-year-old, if the poop throwing is at night, I've heard you can put on the one-piece snap-up or zipper kind of PJs backward so that she can't get to her diaper. If she has any of those, that is.


And don't know if this will help you at all, but try to keep in mind that having tantrums is normal at that age because they don't really have the vocabulary/understanding to be able to express what they're feeling. So it comes out as screaming/crying/throwing things, etc. It could help to not think of them as spoiled (not saying they aren't!), but having trouble expressing themselves. I know that helped me when D was younger (especially once we learned she's on the spectrum, so even more trouble with communication).


Good luck with the babysitting! Hopefully she won't have a c-section...

I see Pastor T tonight. I'm not ready. I don't feel like I can cancel. I just don't want to go. Last week he pushed me hard on some so called delusions that I have. Wasn't too happy about that. All I want to do is sleep anyhow. HUGS Kit

Can you baby-proof one room, even if it means temporarily moving some things? I find that days go much more smoothly for both of us when my kid has a place to explore that is set up so that I don't have to constantly be saying no or taking away things that are breakable or unsafe for her to play with.

Also, I know it's unpleasant to be around, but tantrums are super normal for both kids at those ages. Tantrums generally don't stop until around age four. I like to go the quiet empathy route by saying, "You really wanted [X] and I said no. I can tell you're frustrated. " and then just being there quietly until it's over. It doesn't change the kid's reaction, but it helps keep me from getting irritated if I imagine how frustrated I would be if I want to, say, play with matches and somebody came in and took them from me.

They are Bose brand. She went from a workplace where they couldn't afford to replace their broken office chairs to a workplace where they offered to buy her brand new headphones. It's been a little disorienting for her (in a good way!).

Those baby escape artists are adorable! I know our day is coming before too long because ToddlerManatee has been a big climber/runner/explorer from an early age. And once she can climb out of the crib, then we have to switch to the dreaded toddler bed where she can wander around at night. 😬

One of my first memories is climbing out of my crib at night onto the neighboring change table. I would then fall asleep on the change table and at some point during the night roll off. The boom of me hitting the floor would wake up my parents...but not me.

Loan dog and I saw a Karen today on our morning walk, yelling at a mom for her kids not socially distancing enough (do kids ever socially distance? They’re kids, after all.). I have to say whoever came up with “Karen” for that behavior hit the nail on the head on making it a memorable term.

Ack! I have literal nightmares like this! When the baby was a newborn, my wife and I would both wake up patting/grabbing the bed (or each other) frantically, thinking the baby was either in the bed or about to roll off, even though we never co-slept. Apparently this is a pretty common new parent stress dream.

Today in weird therapy moments, we were talking about the poet Shel Silverstein briefly because my D is doing a poetry unit in second grade, and they're reading some of his poems. Her special educator read her a couple in video chat today for their first online session ("Tree House" and "Boa Constrictor"--she liked the latter, but disliked the former because she does not have a tree house). Talked about him a minute, and Dr. T said how his photo on the back of the books always seemed like him trying to look tough (he compared it to how fantasy or horror authors tend to make themselves look, though I don't read those genres, so he had to explain). Which conflicted with his silly drawings and poems. Then Dr. T said that one of his favorite poems is by Silverstein. He said it had to do with hugs and war, then looked it up on his phone and showed me: "Hug O'War." He read the last few lines to me (which was kind of endearing). It's like the opposite of what I'd expect a favorite Dr. T poem to be. Like, "Who is this person?"

I like that poem too LT. I have two or three of Shel Silverstein's books.

My session got cancelled today. Feeling bummed about that.

I've been meaning to get one or two for D--this might be a good time to do that. I recall liking his stuff when I was a kid. And also this compilation called The Poetry Troupe that one of my elementary school teachers read to us from (my parents got it for me for Christmas that year).

Ugh, I'm sorry NP. Is he sick?

I do have the living room kind of blocked off. That's where their toys are. I also have a pack n' play for the 1 year old.

So far, so good. We have Mickey's Clubhouse on for the 2 year old, and the 1 year old has her bottle (my sister hasn't taken her off it yet).

His partner is. Non-COVID symptoms. He wants to meet tomorrow. I agreed but I keep feeling like I want to cut down on therapy because the level of connectedness I feel lately is like riding a roller coaster. In-person sessions usually end with me not wanting to leave because I need that connection. Video sessions don't feel meaningful or connected at all. Weekends are just hard. He seems to mostly not answer my "I'm hurting" emails anymore, not that I send that many, and that leaves me feeling disconnected. It's like someone switching a light on and off, on and off. The self-destructive part of me wants to take this moment in time to just disconnect from everything and let myself spiral downward.

Shel Silverstein is still a favorite around here. One of my very favorites is the one about Old Man Simon who planted a diamond. He has a gorgeous garden of jewels, and he sits in his garden dreaming of one real peach.

LT- another favorite poet/book from when my kids were about your d's age is Plum by Tony...Mitton, I think. Yep. Silly and fun, similar to Silverstein. The illustrator is the woman who did the original Harry Potter illustrations, and the pictures are gorgeous.

I've got 2 sleeping babies

My mom decided to help out with the girls. So she's taking them tonight when she gets off work, and she took off work tomorrow. I'm glad. My biggest fear was sleeping arrangements. My living room looks like a tornado hit it, but the girls are happy, fed, and now asleep. Yay me!

Yay your mom! I know i couldnt handle all that!

Eta - a tea bag broke in my water bottle, so im straining it into my coffee cup (im such a savage, i know) and it seems easier to drink without having to suck your brains out. Its green / coconut cocoa / dandelion mocha tea. 3 bags, 32 oz cold water.

Some of my shelf-stable foods are becoming avaliable on amazon again, like the diet HMR entrees.

My favorite Shel Silverstein book (I bawl EVERY time I read it, and it doesn't seem to matter how many times I've read it before and how much of it I have memorized) is The Giving Tree. Just thinking about the story I am getting a lump in my throat. Now I have to go read it again, and have a proper cryfest (which I'm a tad overdue for I think).

Thanks for the recommendation! Will check that one out.

A friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher - she said her students' favorite books were The Stupids (and she read The Stupids Die to us at a party and we were rolling on the floor with laughter) (before anyone freaks out - they were not dead -they had just blown a fuse) because the children like being smarter than the family in the book. I don't think I ever read Silverstein as a child. It was probably after my time. My attempt at reading the Giving Tree was unsuccessful.
The Stupids - Wikipedia

I was just looking for chicken on the internet (i still have no fridge) and i came across The Interrupting Chicken, which a) sounds a bit like the Stupids and b) sounds like a joke that was going around? Was it the interrupting cow? And you say MOOOO as your fall guy says, "no i havent heard the one about the interrup..." yeah i think thats it. I have cousins who raise chickens they post pics on facebook soooooo cute!!!

I did that once but just drank it complete with bits.

Oooo I just googled those- I like the sound of Stroganoff with Noodles.

Pastor T wasn't too bad last night. I didn't want to go to session (via Skype). But I went. We have a lot of trouble with the technology because the WIFI signal isn't strong in my house and the place that it is the strongest is in the dining room which has no privacy. My Mom has seriously interrupted two sessions by answering questions for me! Pastor T was like, um, is she supposed to be in the session? I'm like nope! So my Dad has an amplifier or hot spot or something (forgive my stupidity regarding technology) and we tried that last night in the RV but it still didn't work well. When we were actually doing the session, it was okay. He wasn't pushing me as hard as last week. He was a little more encouraging. I'm not overly thrilled with the homework I have to do this week. Plus he wants me to tell my PDOC about my so-called delusions which I'm still not sure are delusions. I talk to PDOC tomorrow. And then he wants a report back. I'm like forget that, what I say to PDOC is private between me and PDOC. I didn't sign a waiver for him to talk to Pastor T (that is why Pastor T wants to hear from me how it went). At least I don't have to memorize anything this week. My brain gets a break. HUGS Kit

Hugs, Kit. You can try using your cell phone as a Wifi hotspot in the RV maybe? Assuming you get an OK cell signal there...

After last weeks session on tuesday which wasn't my normal time as I'd been moved to wenesdays I texted him asking if my wenesday session was still open.

He didn't reply until today saying that he was sorry for the late reply but he'd started new commitments so my wenesday slot wasn't open anymore but my old tuesday one was.

I told him he was just saying that but he wasn't really sorry.

That I had high standards. I I said I didn't think I did, but what did I know I was a borderline so of course my every reaction would be an over reaction.

He said not to hide behind that.

I asked why did his new commitments have to be at my times? That I didn't like change.I said 6 days was a long time to wait for a work response, but other people had real problems. Told him that the old T i saw only worked 28 hours. He said I was trying to figure out his caseload. But I was right about what I guessed his new commitment was. He said that we'd never done two sessions in a row (which we have done before) and that I was testing him.

I said when I was sick I wanted better care from him.

Which he said I didn't get.

That I made him feel like he wasn't good enough.

What was it like being me? Told him this quote I heard: "the highest of highs and the lowest of lows"

Then at the end he said: I thought "you were playing your silly little games".
Upon which I started crying more. He went on about how could I change my mind in 16 hours and go from not wanting to see him to seeing him again?

I told him he didn't know me.

He said he did.

He said he had to go.

I told him to have a nice life.

He said not to say that and he hoped that he would see me soon.