Couch 215: The Overcoming Couch

I don’t feel good. I had a difficult session yesterday and I’ve felt nauseous ever since. I just want to curl up in bed with the blinds drawn and hide.

Texted T (I have to talk to him before calling in sick to work) and he really pressured me to go in. I don’t feel good.

Hugs. If you don't feel good it makes sense to stay home.

Hugs, NP. I imagine it brings up very mixed emotions. When do you see T next?

Last night, I had a dream that Dr. T had gotten guinea pigs. We had session in his office, and he was petting one on his lap the whole time while the other one ran around on the floor. Then I was at his house for some reason and saw he had 8 guinea pigs there. His wife was there, and I was saying something to her about how many there were, but I think she was ignoring me.

My father is being moved to hospice today. Not sure how long he will last, but they are stopping his medications and he is not eating and refuses all procedures. We completely respect his wishes. Now we wait. I am hoping it is a fast and gentle passing for him.

I hope it is too.

I'm so sorry Artley. I hope that the passing is gentle too. HUGS for you if wanted. Kit

T called me last night. I'm feeling a bit better today. Not fabulous but more able to deal with the real world. I don't feel like I need the hospital now or anything like I was feeling. It was nice to talk to T even if it was just like 5 minutes. She's going to call me again sometime between now and my appointment on Saturday. She doesn't really need to because I don't feel like I'm a danger to myself now or anything but I think she just wants to reinforce that I'm doing okay (now). I wasn't when I first contacted her on Monday. HUGS Kit

Yay for stopping by and YAY for the new job!

It does bring up mixed emotions. I don't feel any good ones though. Not happy, not relief, just a feeling of how did I end up here and sadness and a feeling like a big swirling storm of all the crap he put me through. I don't know if that makes any sense.

I asked him for a phone call yesterday so we spoke for about 10 minutes. I just needed to tell a real person and I wasn't ready to share this with my mom or my friend yet. We have an actual session today.

Hugs, Artley. Are you able to physically be there with him?

I'm sorry, Artley...sounds like he's ready for the end and good that you're respecting his wishes.

Hugs, Kit, I'm glad she called and that you're feeling better.

Told Dr. T about the guinea pig dream (leaving out the wife part). He was amused, but said he thinks he's going to stick with just fish for the office. Good session, partly about ex-MC email but then expanding into other stuff in my present and past. Felt like it went by quickly, but then, a lot was discussed.

I feel very disconnected today. From people, my work, myself. Like what's the point of anything.

That tracks. Your change in legal status is an unmooring.

Its been cheez! over 30 years for me, but the only time it really comes up is when i fill out a form, usually for a new doctor (i have a really small life), and i think, not single - divorced. And i wonder what the difference is. Maybe in the olden days. Its only me responsible for me.

But you know what i always come back to. We have freedom. Some people envy that. We shouldnt look a gift horse in the mouth.

That distinction between single and divorced has always been weird to me. Maybe it should just be married or unmarried. Or maybe it isn't necessary on most dang forms at all. Except an application for a marriage license, I suppose.

It always feels like a flashback to the 1950's to me! I expect Leave it to Beaver's mother to come swishing up to me in a full skirt, high heels and pearls!

The medicine I took wore off and I started feeling really awful so my chief sent me home. Just as well.

I emailed my therapist and asked him if he could bring his dog today so I could touch something with a pulse. I hope that doesn't make him uncomfortable. I doubt he can bring her anyway.

Hope you feel better soon @chihirochild Kit

I had a numb feeling for a few days after my divorce became final. I remember going for breakfast after--it was an early hearing--and just staring blankly at my bagel.

Kudos to you for asking, NP.

No dog He was already in the office when I emailed him. He said he would bring her sometime in the future though.