Couch 215: The Overcoming Couch

I was just reading about a small restaurant in a major city near me that was basically destroyed by rioters (not the same as "protesters"), and some other restaurants had windows broken. I feel so bad for the business owners.... There are ways to protest without destroying innocent people's property.

It feels orchestrated to me. But then i always thought Monica Lewinsky was a Republican plot. How does an intern afford an apartment next to the Doles?

I was just telling h this afternoon that I'm almost starting to believe some of the conspiracy theories that are floating around. I mean it's not like anything makes sense anyway so why not?!

Talked to my sister earlier, and apparently there was rioting in her part of the state which is near the capitol and urban. I don't know if the nearby city where my uni is had any protests, and if that led to any rioting and looting because right now, I'm sort of living under a rock in my depression. I moved to Bum****, Nowhere last fall. It is really rural and extremely white and conservative, so if there was going to be a protest and riots, it would be of the redneck "freedumb to kill everybody with COVID" type of deal. Or a Trump rally. I don't even know where that would take place. Probably at the Super Walmart lol. That's the biggest place to congregate out here as far as I know. Truly country af. We don't even have a movie theater and it's a situation where you can't really identify an area that would qualify as "downtown." Other than the highway with the Super Walmart, of course.

It's scary. I turn on the tv or social media and I see familiar areas. I know the exact spot he was murdered. I recognize the areas where the protests are taking place. I know the stores that were looted. I may not live in that city anymore, but I grew up there. I live right outside of there. We've had an 8/9pm curfew the past several days and will for the next several days too, I'm sure. During curfew they are closing major highways/freeways to restrict access to the hot areas.

i'm really scared to see what june and july are going to bring.

I just don't watch the news anymore.

Hope everyone from the US is staying safe!

Our European news are currently covering a lot of the riots going on over there, 2020 really doesn't seem to be a good year so far.

Hugs, Artie and to anyone else who wants. I'm already in such a bad state from the pandemic, like struggling to manage, to leave the house. I drove my car for 5 minutes around our townhouse complex tonight, and that's the first time I've driven or gone more than like 50 yards from my house in weeks. I was telling H tonight that I know I need to be paying more attention to the protests and riots, and it's like I just can't take the news anymore. Like, I am reading about it all but it's almost like I feel numb in a way. I felt much differently when just over 5 years ago something similar happened in my hometown (the killing by cops of a black person, followed by days of riots that really damaged some areas). I feel that I should be feeling more right now, but it's like I'm already at my capacity. And I feel so awful for that. All I can think of is what a disaster our country is right now in so many ways. On so many levels.


What's really screwed up is that at first, I thought people might be able to easily figure out my hometown from this, but then it occurred to me that there have been so many incidents like that, how it might not be obvious, and that really depressed and disturbed me. Because it shouldn't happen at all...

I havent watched the news for years but news articles come over my twitter feed. I hope everyone is safe. It looks scary over there. I am finding hard to process what is happening in the world. Its just madness.

I think lots of people are currently too burned out to care much about what's going on. It's okay to feel like that, it's your mind protecting itself from being overwhelmed. Plus, unless you'd normally feel like protesting yourself, I don't think there's any obligation to pay too much attention to the protests anyways, as long as you're not endangering yourself when going outside.

Also, congrats on driving around for a couple of minutes!

A once in a 100 years pandemic, a once in 50 years nationwide riots (someone who remembers the sixties can correct me if I’m wrong).

My theory is 2020 didn’t show up for the shift change, so 2019 had to do it and 2019 is pissed.

Whoever started this game of Jumanji that is 2020 needs to finish it ASAP.

Someones lost the dice...

LT yes this "it's like I'm already at my capacity" very much so for me too.

In other news, I've been letting Penny outside in our backyard for closely supervised minutes at a time. This evening she really enjoyed exploring the tree branches that are currently filling my yard.

My daughters guidance counsellor rang and is going to organis e for my daughter to see someone for her anxiety. I feel better nmow but a bit guilty because of my inability to ask for help.

Penny is such a pretty cat Artie

I'm definitely not downplaying anybody's motivations for protesting. But I do think that being in lockdown for months has ramped up tensions in absolutely everybody, though, and that might translate to protests escalating in ways they might not have otherwise. And I'm not just talking about protesters being on edge. I think everybody is, including LEO (which is terrifying tbh). I also think that people (again, not pointing fingers at any specific group here) might seize any opportunity to vent the pent up frustration and fear that's been building for the past few months. That's not to say that there's not genuine anger, as well, but I think it's pretty reasonable to say that the pandemic has exacerbated the response.

Apparently the sheriff's department is out in riot gear in my uni town. I hope the therapist has the good sense to stay in her house. She lives downtown and adjacent to an area that I feel isn't the safest. Well, actually, downtown in general isn't the safest.

I definitely wouldn't mind seeing the Confederate statues toppled, though... I feel embarrassed every time I drive past them.

I tried to go to Walmart tonight for some command strips to hang up the letters and picture frames I painted, but they were all closed. Guess they were ordered to close because of the riots. Not sure how long they'll be closed either. Pictures of downtown make me scared and overwhelmed for everyone involved.

H is still over tonight...I don't know why he thinks Friday to Monday is the weekend. He also told me something that was really hurtful today. I could post it on here if anyone cares to know. I really don't know why the comment made me so upset though.

Good news is my daughters' room is finished, at least with the painting part. Have to put up the border, decals, and all the other stuff back. Not sure if I'll stay up later tonight to do it or wait until tomorrow.

Walmarts close nationwide about 8:30PM. That change was made about 6 weeks ago so the stores have time to restock and sanitize due to COVID.

I showered!
Yep, it was in the middle of my work day...but I did it.
It's been way too long. I hate this part of depression.

I don't know where you're located, but I did read that some Walmarts , Targets, and CVSes in the Minneapolis area have closed due to the riots.

Nine people were arrested in the city adjacent to me (like 5 miles away). There was no looting or injuries, yet the police fired tear gas and had ****ing tanks. This is really troubling to me. I was not there, so I obviously don't know what happened. However, I do wonder why they did that. Given the behavior I know police are historically prone to during protests, I admit I am not particularly inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. I think they are scared and some also have a power complex and they either forget or just don't care about people's first amendment right to peaceably assemble. The possibility that a protest might escalate seems to be enough in the mind of many police forces to use violence as if they are at war against American citizens. It's ironic that there seems to be no self awareness that this behavior just reinforces the negative perception of LEO and is probably a major factor in protests escalating into riots.

It's all really disturbing.

I've found the rioting to be very stressful. I'm not even in a city that is rioting (I'm kind of rural) but I see it on TV and it just seems like each night is worse. I'm not upset about the protesting, I think that is for a good reason and I think everyone should have the opportunity to protest whatever they feel like, but rioting is so much different than protesting. I'm finding it triggering.