T and emails.

Yes, I find your post very insightful.

More and more I'm getting that therapists want to assess our feelings (and how they feel with our feelings) rather than specific events in our lives. Also, therapists are (or are supposed to be) constantly examining their own reactions and how effective their reactions are to the work they're doing with clients.

In other words, we might be wondering why t doesn't remember exactly what she said during a specific session, whereas she is focused on whether he overall technique is working, or not.

More than anything it seems to me that therapy teaches us how to effectively communicate with others. Like, it's not nice to threaten murder when someone is weird about sending emails

I email my T alot. She used to reply to a good number of them, then had to set better boudaries with all clients about email. She had told me it wasnt just me. I still email a lot and every now and again she emails.

I’m nervous about tomorrow. I realize now that I was angry with her because I was nervous about work today. Work went fine and I feel a lot better. So it didn’t really have much to do with her at all. It was just my anticipatory anxiety. Although I still feel like she was being contradictory with the emails. Absolutely nothing made me angry at work today. I acted like my normal regular work self. I forgot I was on testosterone actually. It was like not being ate work was the issue all along.

Now she’s saying I can email her and she’ll reply because now it’s “necessary” And we’ll work on not emailing and her not responding another time. Lol. What.

She sounds like she's trying to balance what she believes you need vs. what she feels she can realistically provide. Meaning, she has to decide how many emails she can devote herself to/answer. She might be trying to work out her own confusion.

That's my guess, anyway. And I can certainly understand why you feel confused

I wonder if it is because she feels it would benefit you to not rely on frequent emails bit also knows right now many clients are needing the added support because of everything going in

Good point.

Have you thought of switching therapists? Her actions and her weird comments would really, really annoy me on top of everything else that I am going through. Her smile sounds almost creepy and annoying. If she isn't really helpful, I think trying someone else might be better.

She already dicked you around with email me/dont email me and now she is saying you should? I would find a new therapist but it the meantime do not email her because you know she can easily put a stop to the emails whenever she wants.

Now she’s sending me emails without me sending them first. She’s sent me 2 and I haven’t responded to them. One of them was just a check in, how are you doing type one. Maybe she’s just being kind. But I just don’t have the energy right now to respond.

It sounds to me like she is being flexible with her boundaries around email contact in order to try and meet your needs. You seem to resent this for some reason, or at least you appear keen to foster a faux coyness about her reaching out to you. She's doing her job, see what happens as a result of you accepting that.

Unless there is frank abuse, I'm very reluctant to advise someone to change therapists. None of us can possible know why your therapist, or anyone's therapist, is doing what s/he is doing. Were your therapist on this thread she might have an entirely different set of reasons for her emailing behavior.

I still encourage you to bring up your concerns with her. Maybe that is exactly what she is waiting for you to do.