[KLL85]

Does anyone else sometimes struggle to recall what was discussed with their T as soon as they have left the session?
This used to happen a lot with my previous T, I would walk out and then on the drive home realise I didn’t actually recall virtually anything that we had talked about. Sometimes I would vaguely remember topics but no details of what either of us really said.
I’ve seen my new T for a few sessions now and last week this happened for the first time with her. I walked out of the office and had no idea of the conversations that had taken place.
I mentioned this to her today and she said it sounded like I had shut down but I’m not sure I agree. Surely if I had shut down then I wouldn’t have been able to even respond to her questions.
It’s like one part of my brain is in the room responding to her questions but then there is a large part that is elsewhere. I don’t realise in session that this is going on, it’s only after when I try to think about what was said and can’t remember.
Does this happen to anyone else?

[Lostislost]

Yes this happens to me. Or sometimes I will remember him saying something or myself answering, and I have no idea how we got to that point. I think he said it was dissociation, is that what they meant by shutting down? Either that we are talking about something traumatic so we are dissociating or maybe just overwhelmed with the pace of conversation. A part of you would still be there and could communicate with them.

Sometimes I feel extremely vulnerable in session because he's so present with me, I can feel myself starting to drift away, even though I don't want to.

[Mountaindewed]

Yes this happens to me. Not immediately but very soon. That is why after a session I immediately post in the “In session Today“ thread. So I can remember what happened and how it was said.

[chihirochild]

I often forget whole parts of session, usually the scary parts. T is often kind but a little shocked when I tell him I can’t remember.

[KLL85]

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one this happens to. I’ve wondered whether it maybe partly due to me inability to make eye contact with my T. I spend the whole session actively avoiding eye contact and find myself staring intensely at whatever my hands maybe doing (often fiddling with my clothing or bag) or at something else in the room. There is a radiator next to me and I seem to often spend time counting the the little vents on it (5 rows of 8) when there is conversation going on, maybe if I was able to bring myself to make eye contact I would be less likely to experience these kind blanks.....I dunno.

Originally Posted by Lostislost

Yes this happens to me. Or sometimes I will remember him saying something or myself answering, and I have no idea how we got to that point. I think he said it was dissociation, is that what they meant by shutting down? Either that we are talking about something traumatic so we are dissociating or maybe just overwhelmed with the pace of conversation. A part of you would still be there and could communicate with them.

Sometimes I feel extremely vulnerable in session because he's so present with me, I can feel myself starting to drift away, even though I don't want to.

That’s a really good point about being overwhelmed I think that definitely has something to do with it. Also knowing T is so present may also be a factor. I think this probably links in with the reluctance to make eye contact. I probably find it a little intimidating and scary that all of the focus is on me. It’s an uncomfortable feeling.

[Lemoncake]

Yes- this really started for me last week. I'm there but not really there and can only hang on to fragments after I leave.

T knows I dissociate and space out. I also ask him to repeat stuff and the last few sessions have been tear heavy.

I can't look at a him either right now. I ask him to cover his eyes or look away which he does do.

Last session he said that we could compare our session notes if I wanted to.

Maybe try go at a slower pace? We also wind down last 3 mins.

[zoiecat]

I have DID and dissociate often so this happens all the time. Sometimes I will switch in session and then I really miss out on what happened. Many times I forget what T said right after he said it and he has to repeat it for me. Luckily he is very patient when this happens. He was also the one to suggest that I record our sessions on my phone so I can go home and review them at a later time when I am more present. It works great. Sometimes I listen back sometimes not, especially on days when we do EMDR. I do not want to relive those sessions. You may want to ask you T if that would be an option so you can get a clearer perspective of what was said when you are in a better state of mind. I too rarely look my T in the eyes. Maybe a total of 30 seconds per session if that.

[*Beth*]

Yes, unfortunately this happens to me quite a lot. I have one alter; she becomes highly protective and causes me to experience blank periods of time. I understand the purpose she serves, but the blanks are frustrating - to say the least.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I struggle with remembering sessions. L says it's a form of disassociation. Sometimes I'll even forgot what we're talking about in the middle of session. She tells me to just let her know, we'll try to figure out why I disassociated, and then she'll remind me of what we were talking about.

[nottrustin]

For me it happens when we discuss trauma or other intense things. I disassociated. I am physically and answering questions bit not really there. The first time it happened I thought we had a good session then I walked outside and as soon as I hit the air it was like I woke up from a deep sleep. I remember thinking "what the hell just happened". It freaked me out so I contacted T that evening.

[Quietmind 2]

I struggle to remember my sessions but it has gotten better as I dissociate less. I audio record my sessions with T's knowledge, and also take notes during the sessions to help me remember.

[KLL85]

Wow this is much more common than I thought it would be. I’ll ask her next week whether she thinks it could be a form of dissociation and if that’s what she mean by shutting down. Just a bit concerned that I won’t be able to try and stop it if I don’t notice it happening at the time. Guess I need to work on that.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Quietmind 2

I struggle to remember my sessions but it has gotten better as I dissociate less. I audio record my sessions with T's knowledge, and also take notes during the sessions to help me remember.

Many years ago I was in therapy with a psychologist and I recorded every session we did over six years. I would go home and that day or the next I'd listen to our session. Recording them was one of the smartest things I've ever done. No matter how attentive we are in session, there are things we miss.

[KLL85]

I don’t know if I feel comfortable enough with her yet to ask to record the sessions and we only have a maximum of 12 sessions so doubt I’ll get to the point in that time where I would feel ok to ask her. But it does sound like a really good idea. Although hearing myself back would definitely make me uncomfortable!

[just2b]

all the time and not always am I dissociated

[SlumberKitty]

Yes, this happens to me all the time.

[Quietmind 2]

Originally Posted by KLL85

I don’t know if I feel comfortable enough with her yet to ask to record the sessions and we only have a maximum of 12 sessions so doubt I’ll get to the point in that time where I would feel ok to ask her. But it does sound like a really good idea. Although hearing myself back would definitely make me uncomfortable!

Speaking from experience, you'll adjust and get used to how you sound

[Merope]

It happens to me too. I don’t think I dissociate as such, but it feels a bit like a sensory overload, like I’ve taken in too much and my brain is struggling to process. I make notes of everything that I remember immediately afterwards, but sometimes it takes a day or two for other details to come through. Sometimes I go to sleep and as my mind relaxes, new details from the session emerge and I quickly jot them on my phone. I tend to properly journal about the sessions a couple of days after, just so that I give my brain enough time to process and remember things.