An hour isn't enough

Does anyone else get frustrated, triggering their stress, at the end of their session because you have so much more to say than you can get out in an hour? Or is it just me?

For me sometimes it can be enough other times not.

Some T's do offer extended 90 mins sessions or maybe you could ask for an extra session?

For me, it's more like a few hours after my appointment that I feel like I need another one. I think it has to do with processing making other things come up.

I've never found an hour enough but it's certainly better than 50 minutes which is all I got with all my former T''s. The trouble with 50 minutes is that it took me about 10-15 to settle in enough to get to the 'nitty gritty' and ten to wind down afterwards, so that only left about 25-30 minutes for the main part of the session which was ridiculous.

Current T gives me an hour and while it's still short, I find the extra ten minutes makes a massive difference. Plus I can't see the clock which actually relaxes me as I'm not constantly checking it and adjusting what I talk about according to the time I have left. When the clock isn't there I don't worry about it and it frees me up to say more.

My T and I have found that I truly do best with a two hour session... however it is not within my budget.
I have also tried doing an hour session, two or three hour break and then another session. It wasn’t as helpful as a two hour session but it did have benefits.

I never used to, but since teletherapy (and spending some time every session crying) I find it happens sometimes.

Yes I feel this way at the end of the session sometimes. It’s frustrating. I journal. Come here to PC. Think through things over the week. By the time my next session comes I’ve often resolved the lingering issue from the last session and then something new pops up again... ugh. I think progress is being made though.

I get the full hour and I rarely feel like it's enough but that is more around the wanting to be with her more than having more to talk about. Yes, my transference is alive and well . Some of it really isn't transference. Some of it is the safety of being able to be more my authentic self and feeling accepted for being my authentic self.

Yes, I feel the same way. An hour is generous, but never enough.

I would stay longer than an hour, but I am not sure I would find it a very wholesome experience. I imagine it might be similar to when I gorge on chocolate or drink too much wine. There are also times when she really gets on my nerves or we argue and I don't stay the full hour. Then I definitely want another session a few hours later, but in all likelihood I would just return to argue again, rinse and repeat. Sometimes therapy seems like a continuous source of frustrations and limitations, I am not sure what I am doing there.

Yall! Thank you so much for yall's genuine insight and inputs.

I feel the same about the whole "50 minute" sessions. They make no sense. A full hour is required for me at the very least. 50 minutes or less helps no one seeking therapy.


Thank you Lemoncake for the 90 minute session suggestion! I may end up talking to T about that idea. It may depend on insurance and billing since she bills my insurance and I just pay a $25 copay for each session. I believe T knows the fact that I need longer to get my stuff out, process, and talk my head out because I have my 3rd session in a row with her tomorrow. I was surprised at the fact she wanted to go ahead and schedule a 3rd session this week, but I'm not complaining!


Omers, I understand buddy! I definitely could do a whole lot more with 2 hours than I can with 1 hour, but that would probably clean me out eventually because I couldn't afford the price tag and I have no clue if my insurance will accept that bill either! Since I'm having 3 sessions in a row this week I believe T does understand without me saying a thing that I need the extra time, however we can do it. I may talk to her about doing a 2 hour session here and there when we process the biggies I have to work through. When I saw her years ago on a sliding scale fixed price she did do some 2 hour sessions with me. This time around it will depend on billing and insurance.

Elio, thank you for your honesty. It's refreshing. I too deal with transference with T. I'm embarrassed to admit how much I like and genuinely enjoy sharing time with T. I think that has to do with the fact that she and I just click. When all said and done though, I would prefer going to therapy to work through my head with someone I genuinely get along with as it makes it super easy to build trust to open up. So since you're letting your transference feelings fly free, so will I! If the transference is actually helping our therapy progress than let's continue to let it work for us!


Lilymop I totally get those lingering issues/feelings as well! It's like I'm holding my breath until the next session. T wants me to start writing. I'm not the writing my thoughts/feelings type of person, but maybe I can start writing my lingering feelings right after the end of a session so then we can come back to that moment in my next session! Have you thought about sharing any of your written down lingering feelings with T?


Comrademoomoo, I would say if that therapeutic relationship worked for you than keeping doing you, but since it seems to be stressing you out maybe it seems like you could have outgrown this therapy situation? I know I didn't listen to my instinct with my last T who "broke up" with me and it devastated me so much that I couldn't continue with therapy as I felt so much resentment towards basically restarting therapy with another T and going back through everything. If maybe I had ended that therapy relationship when I knew deep down that T couldn't be the therapist I needed for my issues than maybe I wouldn't have soured on therapy and swore it off for over a year allowing my mental health to deteriorate in the process. I'm not saying any of this would be you in any possible way. I'm only sharing what happened with me when I turned my back on my gutteral instincts and signs staring me in the face. I hope you figure your situation out and that in the end it works out for what is best for you!

I used to journal where I was writing to T. I would go to it any time I needed to and write whatever came up. I shared my journals with T. At the beginning there was a lot I would move to a personal section that was not shared with T. By the end, very little was written in that spot. I've been seeing my T since the end of 2015. We've moved from stabilization and support to analytical. The distance/video therapy is putting a big dent in my progress as a lot of my therapy prior was around play.

A bit over a year ago, I went to daily contact with T. This was to help repair a fairly major rupture. I either email or we have a session each day. After a bit my journal didn't seem as needed. My emails seem to be equivalent to my journal entries, or enough. Actually less volume, I'm sure, as I tend to only email her first thing in the morning. It is not therapy even though I may ramble on about something her replies are rarely more than 5 sentences and always follow a pattern. She leaves it to me to bring up any topic, so even if I wrote about it, she rarely brings it up. We have gone back and talked about some of it. Not that often. More so since moving to the video visits as we've yet to find a way to play together over the video.