Losing Connection

Are others feeling like they are losing their emotional connection with their T because of Covid. Have you talked to your T about it? How did they respond? I want to talk to T but feeling really needy and I guess ashamed that I need that and cant just trust her.

Do you feel like you are losing the emotional connection because you aren't doing in person sessions? Or something else? I found it an awful feeling to finally trust someone with my T, it makes me all kinds of vulnerable and I don't like it.

I have found that by trusting them and asking them for what you need is the only way to get what you need and heal. As much as I wish my T was a mind reader, he most definitely is not... lol.

If you don't tell her directly that you need her in this way then she might never know and then she can't help you.

thank you for your response. Yes I believe it is because of not meeting her person. T and I have discussed since the beginning that the my major issue with teletherapy is that I can feel the connected or energy from being in the same room. I can't feel her caring and compassion. There have been appointments where I fear she is judging me even though logically I know that she is not. A couple of weeks ago I forced myself to tell her something painful and told her twice that I hated telling her over the internet. I have not told her that I feel like we are losing the theraputic connection and such. Honestly, I am at the point where just talking about it in the way I have been has not helped so needing ideas on how to make it productive.

Yes, I feel it and I've tried to talk to T about it. Too long... too much unknown. We have had 2 meetings in person since March; one in July and one in Aug. We are now planning on a meet next week. So 1 time a month so far. These are in a park. Not nearly as good as her office. To be honest, I'm not sure if they are better or worse than video. I think it is good on some level.

I have wondered a lot since probably June on what the point of therapy is going to be if we don't get to meet in person. I'm not sure how much she is aware of my thoughts around quitting. I guess I'm not even sure how serious I am around those thoughts. For a change, I don't really feel like she's "gone", so from that perspective, I guess I still feel connected to her. At the same time, I am not getting what I need to open up and be vulnerable at the same level or same way as I was while we are in person.

I have no answers. Sharing that you are not alone.

Thank you for sharing. I keep googling to see if there are any articles on this to see if it is a common issue but find nothing, which, doesnt help my frustration. I guess I am looking for ideas on helping the connection but since there is nothing it is hard.

It is so hard with the virtual therapy, the connection really does get weaker when you aren't in front of them. I don't know if this helps you at all (I may sound very stupid and childish) but could you send something to your T for her to hold or have with her in your session? I have used ribbons, stones and candles in this way. We can both hold them at the same time. Like having a physical connection via an object.

I know it's not ideal but this stupid virus is hanging around and making it so hard for everyone to connect.

At this point it is worth a shot. Over the weekend, I went as far as going and standing outside by her office (not her home, they are in different towns) to see if it would help, it did not.

I did the go to office thing too. It also did not help.

I bought some drums (one for each of us) to see if playing them together would help. The idea was making music together would be like being together - creating something together. But I'm terrible at relaxing enough to play in general, so we have yet to do it.

My anxiety around anything like play is so bad it is why we've made play be a big part of my therapy.

Yesterday it seemed like my session was starting off badly and I asked her what was going on and she gave me a reason and then things were fine after we discussed it. We haven’t lost our connection she is just in a mood sometimes. But I’m learning to bring it up in the session instead of just ignoring it and then being moody about it all week.

I feel closer to my therapist since we have been working remotely. We don't even use the video function on Zoom. I trust her more and I am more open to the realisation that I need her. The distance has allowed me to relax and be more accepting of our connection. She doesn't seem so threatening and I don't have to be so vigilant around her.