4 hrs to T time and i haven't cancelled yet. i have told myself i can go and sit close to the door. i am still mad and hurt and honestly? i feel more like walking in, kicking him in the shins and leaving.

[Perna]

My husband has a pillow shaped like a football. You could take something like that and "threaten" him with it? LOL

Not showing up does get one's T wondering what is going on but doesn't "show" anything because they can't know what's going on because you don't tell them! I think T's try not to assume stuff and sometimes that's why we get angry with them, we find stuff "obvious" but that's because it's ours.

oh no, this IS obvious... it's his fault and he knows it. Of course, on the phone he says "i am not into anger and blame..."

yeah? i am. IT'S YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU did this. NOT me.

He made a very, very bad call. He hurt me very deeply. He didn't trust me. For all of his talk about trust. i think he put his feelings first. Very, very bad call.

yeah... they make mistakes.. but mistakes cause damage. i made the mistake of rear-ending a mustang. Oops didn't seem to cover it. i don't think the other driver wants to spend an hour with me.

it has distressed me since Thursday. i have not calmed down one iota (what IS an iota anyway?).

Trust. Right. Sure buddy. Anytime you wanna stop hurting me. i thought this was supposed to be a place where i could learn to trust bit by bit and NOT get hurt for doing it.

But you know what? i used to it too right? i can handle being ripped up, been there, done that and by worse than this jackass. He can go fluff himself. In fact, i know how to hurt him too. i watch, i learn. i know he feels a special sort of pain when i compare his words or actions to previous or current people. There is a slight bit of anxiety there... he worries a bit.

i am feeling a tad evil and liking it.

[Perna]

"Iota is the ninth letter of the Greek alphabet. In the system of Greek numerals it has a value of 10. It was derived from the Phoenician letter Yodh . Letters that arose from Iota include the Roman I and J. It is pronounced yota by modern Greeks." From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iota (it just means "a very small amount").

Yeah, but you still have to tell him all that stuff or it will just sit there and poison you! Doesn't matter he's a scorpion, you have to get the sting/poison out. Be a meercat :-)

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i feel more like walking in, kicking him in the shins and leaving.

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Why not walk in, kick him in the shins, and stay? Just another option you might want to think about LOL

I hope your session goes well. Love ya'

[MissCharlotte]

Did you go?

I like the idea of walking in and kicking the door in to scare the %#@&#! out of him!!!!
Yeah, that'll teach him.

LOL