Couch 226--CCXXVI Couch

How did I ever get so broken?

Rhetorical question, I suppose.

Didn’t someone say a few days ago we’re all broken?

The question isn’t why. It’s, what are we going to do about it?

I'm so upset. My cat just sauntered in with an itsy little field mouse. He came in the door and dropped it. I thought it was ok at first but now I think its back is broken. I don't have the supplies need to humanely euthanize it at home. I feel awful. I hope the vet won't laugh at me if I call tomorrow.

Whoa, all the lights just went out. I sat back down from doing chores not 5 minutes ago. Thats proof god does NOT want me doing chores! Last time i did chores, we went out for 3 days in august 2004? along the entire eastern seabord, remember?

Its not blowing or raining or anything here. Just blink. I will check the electric company.

Eta - the map shows a big square chunk of land is out. Like a few square miles. Time estimate is 1:45 am.

12:30 am - power back on. I was reading kindle and had about 33% battery left. I also used the flashlight function to get myself a snack and it made me feel a) resourceful but mostly b) pampered! Usually i am miserable and psychologically frozen during blackouts.

So I’m feeling a tad nihilistic tonight. What makes you think that you’re any more broken than anyone else? What makes your circumstances so special?

I don’t say this in a demeaning way, but just to illustrate that your experience is not unique to just you.

Faaark! Any conversation with my ex has me feeling bad. I am trying to arrange my daughters 18th and the list of friends i can find is 3 maybe 4. Well my ex is disappointed that there arent that many guests, he was suggesting friends she saw in town but ny daughter hasnt seen these people in ages and he wants me to get her phone and go through her contacts to fund more people. I am not happy with that and when i said she has a thumbprint access (true) he suggested borrowing her phone on a pretense and calling these people. I asked her best friend for people to invite and thats the froends i already know. I am thinking of telling him that my daughter sat in the same room while i made this made up call. Also he, somehow, he made me think this is all my fault. I am feeling really depressed now,
Also he suggested he wanted to redesign my engagement and wedding ring into 2 rings for our daughters, he has the rings when separated as i was moving around alot after we separated. He wanted to ask me as these were my rings after all. How dare he i am upset now that he thinks he just do these things.

Can i just say i dont enjoy a lot of fruit. Apples bananas peaches thats about it.

I love fruit, especially any kind of berry.

Not sure your daughter would appreciate you going through her phone, even if you could. That seems like an inappropriate breach of boundaries that he's suggesting.

If you can see who she is friends with on Facebook, that would probably be better.

My wedding ring was made from my mums engagement and wedding riing which was made from my grandmothers engagement fing

I kknow. I am super uncomfortable with it and i am not doing it. His family have all sorts of boundary issues.

I had distinct feeling when he suggested the party that it was all about him and i think this is right. If it wasnt about him he would have been alright with the arrangements as they are. They are her friends after all.

He rang back and said if there arent that many people we could go to a restaurant. I like that idea all i have to do is find a restaurant with vegetarian options.

No unfortunately i cant my real profile was deactivated by fb because they thought it was fake as i had my pets as my profile pic and not my face that was when the criteria for fb profile was a face pic.

Then it is not his to eff with. He is starting to get on my nerves! Is he going thru male menopause or something?

Can I come in? been lurking for a while but now I have just had my last therapy session (the day after a very traumatic hospital appointment) and I need somewhere nice and safe to curl up and cry...

Of course! Come on in! You don't actually have to be in therapy at the moment to hang out here. Welcome!

Apparently we're dining on frozen fruit now but if you're like me and the thought of it sets your teeth on edge, you're welcome to try a nice scone or iced blueberry biscuit instead....

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Ouch! even the thought of frozen fruit sets my teeth on edge. I will make do with a nice scone (obviously with jam and clotted cream).

Sometimes I feel really sorry for mothers of people who have hired therapists.
I was reading a book by someone (I keep trying to understand what the hell was supposed to be the point of sitting there talking for no reason) and it was sort of amazing how with each page I felt sorrier and sorrier for the author's mother.

Also - it is allergy season and I am sneezing my head off. The cat just looked at me in disgust and jumped off my lap after the last sneezing fit

i'm sorry overall to everyone.

My classes end next week - I am so over zoom teaching.

Darn, nearly committed the Ultimate Couch Sin.

Saved it just in time. Zoom teaching is not the same, and I loathe it.

Mine too. I also am over Zoom. But I’m worried my big 200-person lecture in the fall will be deemed by the university too large to meet in person and will be on Zoom.

Also masks will still be required on campus, making teaching harder for me.

I enjoy seeing my students over Zoom. Keep them at bay. Plus I can pretend my camera isn't working and pluck out my mighty moustache hairs whilst they drone on.