Couch 226--CCXXVI Couch

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 18, 2021, 06:26 PM

Looks like a beautiful spot, chihirochild! I'm so glad you had fun!!

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 18, 2021, 06:37 PM

I love this cat so much. She's rubbing all up and down my arm again and trying to walk on my keyboard while I'm typing. *9** (that was her haha)

LonesomeTonight · Apr 18, 2021, 07:08 PM

Also glad you had fun and that your BF was a good sport, Chihiro!

LonesomeTonight · Apr 18, 2021, 07:11 PM

Today in random scary things, the glass globe to a hallway light just suddenly fell down and shattered into hundreds of pieces. At first, I thought D had knocked something over, then realized she was in the bath, and H was on a different floor. Glad no one was standing under it at the moment. And I plan to wear shoes in the house for the next few days (I normally go barefoot or sometimes just socks). H had changed the bulb last week, so maybe it was loose, but odd that it would wait a few days (and without something sort of shaking the house).

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 18, 2021, 08:18 PM

That is weird, LT! Hope nobody finds any random pieces of glass with their feet. I always worry about the cats when I accidentally break a glass or something. I used to have a big glass mixing bowl that slipped out of my fingers when I was trying to put it away one time, and it shattered into what also seemed like hundreds of pieces. I vaccumed and mopped more than once and was still finding little shards of it in random stupid places for days, like under the fridge etc.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 18, 2021, 08:25 PM

Night, couchies. I'm going to go watch mindless TV and hopefully fall asleep. I refuse to turn this 'thing' with my mother into another batch of ridiculous drama like I did over the past couple of weeks with L. Tomorrow is another day.

chihirochild · Apr 18, 2021, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Today in random scary things, the glass globe to a hallway light just suddenly fell down and shattered into hundreds of pieces. At first, I thought D had knocked something over, then realized she was in the bath, and H was on a different floor. Glad no one was standing under it at the moment. And I plan to wear shoes in the house for the next few days (I normally go barefoot or sometimes just socks). H had changed the bulb last week, so maybe it was loose, but odd that it would wait a few days (and without something sort of shaking the house).

Per Reddit, laying a flashlight on the floor can help you find any leftover glass pieces: LPT: Just clean up broken glass? Lay a flashlight on the floor. Any leftover pieces will make a shadow so you can easily pick them up before your feet do. : LifeProTips

LonesomeTonight · Apr 18, 2021, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Per Reddit, laying a flashlight on the floor can help you find any leftover glass pieces: LPT: Just clean up broken glass? Lay a flashlight on the floor. Any leftover pieces will make a shadow so you can easily pick them up before your feet do. : LifeProTips

Oh, thanks! Will try that tomorrow.

stopdog · Apr 18, 2021, 10:55 PM

I had the globe on a ceiling fan light fall off once a long time ago. It was kind of unsettling to have it explode in the bedroom. I think the fan vibration just loosened the screws.

unaluna · Apr 18, 2021, 10:58 PM

I also heard a slice of white bread is good at picking up shards.

So this reminds me of the time i walked in on my dear t changing the lightbulb in his hallway. And i had to help him. OMG it was sooooo funny. "The lightbulb really had to want to change!"

That will make such a good chapter in my book. If i can fit it into my THEME.

atisketatasket · Apr 18, 2021, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

That will make such a good chapter in my book. If i can fit it into my THEME.

Enough dropping bread crumbs and being coy. What THEME?

Quietmind 2 · Apr 18, 2021, 11:23 PM

Wonderful to hear @ArtleyWilkins

Quietmind 2 · Apr 18, 2021, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Well I told my mom the thing, and she was as negative as expected, and I'm trying not to let it get me down. Why do I still care so much what that woman thinks about me?! I'm proud of myself though because I didn't start crying when she was so negative. I think I have finally hit the realization that even if I could live to be 300 I would never, ever, ever be good enough for her. Ever. Well damn it now I am crying. ****. Why can't she ever just be happy for me? Why? I don't get it.

Hugs. It's not your fault, a part of you wants her love and approval. It's really painful, I know.

Daffydungle · Apr 18, 2021, 11:38 PM

I am still angry at my ex for suggesting he wants to make my wedding ring into 2 separate rings for the girls. The diamond is from my grandmothers engagement ring and the only thing of hers i have and the 3 different golds are from my mothers engagement and wedding rings. We have been separated 8 years and the only reason i havent asked for it back was because he wouldnt give it to me when i was moving around after we separated he thought i would pawn it, idiot. Justa control freak and later he left town and didnt know if he had it packed away in storage. Also its not the thing that think of alot. Also i didnt want to ask for it back in case he thought i thought it meant something, ie the marriage meant something again.

Quietmind 2 · Apr 18, 2021, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

There is also a step before cutting contact with a hostile mother and that is to engage minimally with the priority of protecting your vulnerabilities. For example, I don't share anything of my emotional world with my mother; I tell her absolute skeleton factual information about my life; I lie to her when necessary and when it shields me; I respond but I don't provide input; I don't listen to her when she speaks; I limit contact to one text or phonecall a month. I work very hard at keeping her at arms length. She has proven herself to be untrustworthy and she won't change. I need to respect my well-being in a way that she never has.

My mother is probably an outlier example of an uncaring mother so it's hard for me to keep perspective, but I tense up when people post about having sensitive and emotional conversations with problematic mothers, often encouraged by therapists. Some mothers can't hear difficult conservations and it doesn't serve us to enter into that arena with them.

Similar for me. Did something similar until I went no contact a few months after moving out.

Mine's hostile and controlling due to unmanaged mental health issues but... I can't force her to seek treatment, and I've tried for years. And she tells absolutely everything to my sadistic cruel Dad even though he is verbally and psychologically abusive to her.

Sensitive and emotional conversations don't work with either of them. And thankfully my therapist never suggested I try. And minimal stuff would get my parents mad at me ("you never talk to us!") but at least they didn't have ammunition from emotional conversations.

Once, I freaked out about my Dad potentially finding my well hidden psych meds because he'd deep search my room, go through my recycling (bagged up before all the bags are collected at a designated time).

My therapist did ask me why I'm so afraid and why don't I stop keeping that secret. Pretty sure I bluntly set her straight, and she never asked again.

Quietmind 2 · Apr 18, 2021, 11:57 PM

My paranoia is over. Then of course I got afraid T will be angry because of how I blew up.

T replied to my email and pointed out stuff in a more gentle way, while also saying we can work things through, she understands the process, and isn't angry.

WarmFuzzySocks · Apr 19, 2021, 12:25 AM

Art, I am sorry your conversation with your mom didn't go well. I agree that you are brave.

unaluna · Apr 19, 2021, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Enough dropping bread crumbs and being coy. What THEME?

Woulda coulda shoulda did.

Its about convincing yourself you have no regerts so you can die happy.

You know, typical boomer stuff.

Lemoncake · Apr 19, 2021, 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I also heard a slice of white bread is good at picking up shards.

So this reminds me of the time i walked in on my dear t changing the lightbulb in his hallway. And i had to help him. OMG it was sooooo funny. "The lightbulb really had to want to change!"

That will make such a good chapter in my book. If i can fit it into my THEME.

I heard of get a strip of sellotape and using that to pick up the pieces.

I would really read this book Una- hope you get writing soon. Maybe you could have it laid out like Chicken soup for the soul. Just one book with lots of different stories.

Lemoncake · Apr 19, 2021, 05:36 AM

I was walking alone in the park and I was feeling rather sad. This little black dog came up to me, I petted him then he went off but came back with a ball which i rolled in the direction of his owner. I think it was serendipity.

@ - @@. Maybe a new pet would be a good idea. You did what was best for lone dog and new cat. It doesn't mean they don't love you anymore, because you don't live with them.

Lemoncake · Apr 19, 2021, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

I am still angry at my ex for suggesting he wants to make my wedding ring into 2 separate rings for the girls. The diamond is from my grandmothers engagement ring and the only thing of hers i have and the 3 different golds are from my mothers engagement and wedding rings. We have been separated 8 years and the only reason i havent asked for it back was because he wouldnt give it to me when i was moving around after we separated he thought i would pawn it, idiot. Justa control freak and later he left town and didnt know if he had it packed away in storage. Also its not the thing that think of alot. Also i didnt want to ask for it back in case he thought i thought it meant something, ie the marriage meant something again.

Maybe it's time to write a formal email asking for the rings back.They're your rings not his to decide what to do with, even if he wants them to go to your daughters.

atisketatasket · Apr 19, 2021, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Woulda coulda shoulda did.

Its about convincing yourself you have no regerts so you can die happy.

You know, typical boomer stuff.

We are all unreliable narrators of our own lives.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

@ - @@. Maybe a new pet would be a good idea. You did what was best for lone dog and new cat. It doesn't mean they don't love you anymore, because you don't live with them.

Thanks, lemon, but...have you ever met a cat? They love whoever's in front of them and has opposable thumbs. Otherwise outta sight outta mind.

And dogs love most everyone they meet.

stopdog · Apr 19, 2021, 10:26 AM

I have a dog right now who loves my other dog, one of cats, and a friend of mine more than he cares about me. He went with my friend for a couple of days because I had to take the other dog out of town to a specialist, and when I got back, he cried and stood at the door waiting for her to come and get him. It was horrible. He finally stopped pining after a couple of days (he can't just go live with her because of her circumstances or I would let him). He is a sweet lovey twitchy guy -he is a seriously neurotic dog and has been since I got him from the rescue org. His whole litter was turned in by the breeder because none of them could be shown - he had not been mistreated actively but he was seriously neglected and did not have much socialization with humans until the foster home got him at around 5 months old. He is okay with me but he completely adores my friend.

stopdog · Apr 19, 2021, 10:30 AM

I had a breakfast of egg, bacon, and brussel sprouts - it was surprisingly tasty.

daisydid · Apr 19, 2021, 11:03 AM

I disagree about cats @@. When I was a teenager I had a cat (beautiful flame point long hair Siamese) who was my cat. He liked my parents but definitely favored me. Every morning he would sit with me on my bathroom counter and demand pets while I did my hair and makeup. My freshman year I lived away from home at a boarding school several hours away (very WASP I know). My cat, Sammy, according to my step mother, would sit in my bathroom every morning and cry for 15-20 minutes. She said it was one of the saddest things she’d seen. It was before cell phones were widely adopted so I never saw it. He was glad when I came home my sophomore year though.

Damn I miss that cat.

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