Couch 227 - The Safe Couch

Ah - the web is a harsh mistress. They dont want to hear our OLD stories.

Just met our new employee at work. He wasn't at all what I expected. Then he was like, so what do you think? I just shrugged and said, we'll see how it works out. I don't know what he wanted me to say and I'm not the chattiest person on a good day.

I'm seeing regular T tomorrow. This is good as I've been having voices. I doubt she'll be extremely helpful but it's better than nothing. Then I see Dr. K on the 11th. I texted regular T to make sure I had an appointment because she tends to forget or have me scheduled for weird times without telling me. So I told her I was having voices and looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. She just said, okay, will look forward to seeing you.

I wish T would have said something like, hang in there.

Oops, you're right QM!

Sorry about the nightmare, but glad it helped

So that time I effed up would be TTIFU?

Like he asked you what he thought about him? That seems incredibly awkward...

I hope your T is helpful tomorrow.

Speaking of harsh old mistresses... or would that be schoolmarms?

Boy im full of p and vinegar today! I had a good phone call with my gp doctor. I had coffee before i talked to him. He didnt yell at me. My weight is finally down to what it was when i joined weight watchers 5 years ago and lost wgt, before i gained it back.

Yeah, he totally asked what I thought of him. I had just said hello to him and asked him if he was so and so. And he said yes. Then he was like, what do you think? And I was like, shrug. We'll see how it works out. So random. It was awkward! For once I don't think it was me being awkward but someone else.


Yeah, hopefully T is helpful, or at least is not unhelpful.

I'm going to have a case manager called Kayla. But my old case manager called me today Bridgette and talked to me and she said she was sorry but she has a really full caseload but she thinks I will be a good fit with Kayla and set me up an appointment for next Friday at 1 for an intake. I told Bridgette how long it had been since I had SHed and she was like so proud of me because that is what we worked on last year. She was like what's going on this year then? And I told her voices. And she said Kayla would be a good fit because she is a therapist whereas Bridgette is an RN. I really liked Bridgette though. Hopefully Kayla will be okay.

I hope Kayla is able to help you, Kit. I mean, I know she will, but I hope she's a good fit. HUGS

Thanks @LostOnTheTrail. I hope so too. It's just short term 2 to 6 months but hopefully enough to get me back to stable. Bridgette said if I really didn't like Kayla I could come back to her and maybe her schedule would have opened up by then. But I'm willing to give Kayla a shot.

I'm so excited! I'm going to start 2 tattoos on Monday. 1. Four season tree of life 2. A tattoo that has special meaning to L and I. I saw the design for the tree of life today and it's gorgeous! It has celtic roots, winter has snowflakes and blue wind, spring has Sakura blossoms, summer has rays of sunlight, fall has autumn color leaves and purple wind. It's just beautiful!

Ugh... I feel terrible. I saw T yesterday. She decided I can wait 3 weeks till our next appointment but can email of needed. I agreed, felt I'll be fine. Then had awful nightmares and feel crushed with grief. Hoping it'll fade off once the weekend (and mother's day in my region) is over.

Hugs, QM. could you contact her about potentially seeing if she could see you sooner.

I have to wash my daughters dog today he is so wiggly and likes to stick his face in the water and blow bubbles. I need all my patience to wash him.

Hugs to everyone who wants them.

I'll see. It's weird how this depression comes and goes depending on this alter within me. I can be intensely depressed with passive SI then it fades. Then returns, like waves on a beach. At the time of this post I'm writing now, I don't feel depressed at all.

Okay im scheduled for moderna dose 1 this wednesday.

I love how the Irish president always does press meetings with his dog
Eta almost always

Warm and gentle hugs to anyone who is comfortable and wants one. This day has turned into the worst day of the year over the past couple. I don’t know if anyone else struggles with me but I just wanted to say somewhere in the universe that you’re not alone. I don’t really feel like social media is a good place today for the truth.

It's a hard day for me too.

Hugs to anyone who wants/needs one...

My husband passed away this morning. He is no longer suffering.

I'm so sorry for your loss Artley!