[*Beth*]

What are your goals in therapy, and do you feel you're achieving them?

[LostOnTheTrail]

My goals seem to be around accepting emotions and expressing needs.
I still feel deeply uncomfortable when I cry in session, even more over Zoom...
I am getting better at expressing needs, though.

[Lostislost]

In the beginning my goal was to know who I am and why I am this way, to not want to die.

Then my goal was to change in to what I wanted to be, which doesn’t work because I just don’t know what I want and the world doesn’t sort of accommodate those feelings I have anyway, so it seems pointless to try and causes much suffering.

Now I have no idea what my goals are, but I feel like the therapists goals for me are to just not care anymore and let everything ‘be’ as it is. It seems very stupid to me, because it’s the same as just not caring. Why would you try or want to do anything if you didn’t care about the outcome? Like a leaf blowing around in the wind. As if he just lives his life not giving a **** about anything and seeing what happens....my experience of him is that he wants to control many things and their outcomes. I am a human being not a leaf.

[ArtleyWilkins]

My overall goal was to get to a place where my past and my depression didn't run my life.

While in therapy, there were sort of sub-goals along the way that changed as things in my life come up or changed, but my bottom line was always that first goal, and while the progress was slow, it was clear that change was happening along that road.

It took a LONG time, but I did get there. My past is finally in its proper place - the past. I no longer struggle with severe constant depression - I now only deal with occasional, short-term situational depression that I know how to deal with on my own without the need for outside help.

[*Beth*]

Thanks for the replies. I often feel like the goals my T has for me and the goal I went into therapy for are somewhat different. She sees marked improvement in my therapy achievements, whereas I feel minimal improvement; better in a few areas, not at all in others.


Lostislost, I think I understand your frustration with your therapist's technique. Do you talk about it with him (your difficulty with "letting things be", I mean)?

[Lostislost]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Lostislost, I think I understand your frustration with your therapist's technique. Do you talk about it with him (your difficulty with "letting things be", I mean)?

I have told him that letting things be would mean I just didn't care anymore. He is a Buddhist and a completely different personality type to me. Maybe it worked out for him, just letting things be, so he things everyone should do that? It can get frustrating.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My goal this year is to be more open and direct with L and family, and to try to be more comfortable with myself and in my own skin. I think I'm doing a good job with both. I've been a lot more open with L, and trying not to beat around the bush with her. I'm setting better boundaries with my family and telling them what's going on with me. And I'm trying to take care of myself better.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Lostislost

I have told him that letting things be would mean I just didn't care anymore. He is a Buddhist and a completely different personality type to me. Maybe it worked out for him, just letting things be, so he things everyone should do that? It can get frustrating.

Yes, I get it totally. Eastern philosophy is very popular with therapists it seems. Letting things go, mindfulness, being in the moment, meditation...I've been working with these concepts for decades and while they can be helpful with some parts of my life I never have understood how people in western culture can actually live a lifetime by using such concepts. I'm still struggling with it...I do believe there's value there, but like you, I get stuck in the real-life application.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

My goal this year is to be more open and direct with L and family, and to try to be more comfortable with myself and in my own skin. I think I'm doing a good job with both. I've been a lot more open with L, and trying not to beat around the bush with her. I'm setting better boundaries with my family and telling them what's going on with me. And I'm trying to take care of myself better.

Being comfortable with ourselves and setting boundaries are solid, reality-based goals. And self-care is essential for stable mental health, I believe. Good for you for working with your plan!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

My overall goal was to get to a place where my past and my depression didn't run my life.

While in therapy, there were sort of sub-goals along the way that changed as things in my life come up or changed, but my bottom line was always that first goal, and while the progress was slow, it was clear that change was happening along that road.

It took a LONG time, but I did get there. My past is finally in its proper place - the past. I no longer struggle with severe constant depression - I now only deal with occasional, short-term situational depression that I know how to deal with on my own without the need for outside help.

Sounds like the attainment of letting your past be in the past and not allowing depression ruin your life were worth the years of work you invested. Excellent!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

My goals seem to be around accepting emotions and expressing needs.
I still feel deeply uncomfortable when I cry in session, even more over Zoom...
I am getting better at expressing needs, though.

Expressing your needs is the foundation for healthy relationships, I think. I hope you will become more comfortable with crying. You're human, after all

[just2b]

working on being present and less dissociation. Acceptance of the past and being okay to sit with feelings. It varies on the part of mind present. so no good on the dissociation part, or present thing. Acceptance ...no on that too, parts of mind are still in trauma time, and sitting with feelings....NOPE. Go into dissociation to many times in session. So no progress so far...