Couch 231: Live Long and Prosper!

Kit, 2nd opinions tend to be very, I guess, technical (for lack of a better word). He's going over your current treatment to make suggestions of what might be changed to help you. Try not to take his description of "a lot of meds" as a criticism; it's just an observation based on the list he has in front of him.

Your current pdoc won't be offended by what the 2nd opinion guy suggested. He'll take it into consideration and perhaps clarify for you why he has made the decisions that he has made, and together you can decide how to proceed.

Thanks Artley, Thanks LT.

I'd be lying if I said my feelings weren't hurt. They still are. But I'm trying to put it into perspective. (This didn't exactly work because I started thinking of people/places that have it much worse than me, Haiti, Afghanistan, Tigrey region of Ethiopia.) And then I got really depressed. I've given money to relief organizations and I've been praying but it feels like my efforts aren't enough. (And of course they're not. These are bigger problems than one person can deal with.) So I took my putting things into perspective a little too far.


I've been talking to one of my support persons and she's been helpful. She's busy today though so I am trying not to bug her. I'm sitting at work, not busy, which doesn't help, and waiting for it to be the weekend. The doctor's words echo in my head. I've tried listening to music, reading scripture, talking to others about it. And still it's there. Like a catch in the throat that won't go away.


Here's hoping I don't SH over this. Hopefully I can put some "proper" perspective on it and not go 180 in the other direction. Super depressed now.

Hugs, Kit. Just because others are struggling doesn't mean that your struggles are any less. Did you decide whether to go to Disneyland tomorrow? (I think that was tomorrow?)

Thanks LT. I decided not to go. I am not particularly risk averse but there are people at my workplace who haven't been vaccinated. If I got COVID and was asymptomatic I could give it to them. So it was more like, thinking of the good of others, since I'm not particularly worried about myself catching Covid. I mean, I know breakthrough infections are happening but I saw something like how the vaccine is still 92% effective even against the variant. I can't quote it because I don't remember where I saw it. So don't quote me on that in case it wasn't a reputable source. But I remember thinking at the time that it was. I think not going is making me a little sad but I'll see how things are in two weeks, when my next ticket is, and then how it is in 3 weeks from then when my last ticket is. Maybe things will be better by then.

I’m sorry you feel so bad. The problem with any psychiatric drugs is that the conditions they treat are so complex there is no ‘right’ answer, and the reason you need so many meds is a reflection of the drugs not treating the whole condition.

It is really well known that there is a huge variation in response to psychiatric drugs - even taking unipolar depression as an example. Some people take Prozac and it is a miracle drug but for others (including me) it does nothing.

Psychiatric illness is still so poorly understood and so complex (and I used to work for a pharma company who did lots of psychiatry) that any drugs are basically a blunt tool.

I know it’s hard but maybe it might help to think that rather than you being messed up, it is a limitation of pharmaceuticals and you are just unlucky that no one drug can treat every aspect of your symptoms so you have to take more drugs.

It’s the same with many complex conditions - people end up in a cocktail of drugs because they don’t respond adequately to one drug, it’s just the stigma of mental health issues that makes people feel feel that it is somehow their fault.

Thank you so much @littleblackdog. This helps so much to think of it this way. Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me.

These are some good points. From what I recall, even in the drug information pamphlets for SSRIs, for example, it says something like, "we think these drugs work by doing x." Like, they aren't even entirely sure why they work, the exact mechanisms/reactions behind it, just that they help many people.

I’m glad it helped. I work in a medical-related job and it is so common for people to be on several medications for one condition, or for several related conditions, and nobody bats an eyelid.

Kit, your diagnoses and meds do not define who you are, your core thay makes you you. You are not a sick person based on how many meds you have or what your diagnosis is. You are so much more than that!

I've been allaying my depression today by donating to various charitable organizations. It's like retail therapy except I just get tax receipts that don't help me anyway because I don't have anything to itemize for. But it does help me feel that there is a reason for the suffering--so that I can feel for the suffering of others and act on it. I check Charity Navigator first and make sure the organization is legit and has a good score. Then I wonder why all the mail I get is solicitation for funds.

Thanks so much Scarlet!

It was strange teaching on Zoom.

It was strange teaching to an empty classroom while all the students attended via Zoom.

It is now strange to be teaching actual flesh and blood students in a full classroom.

Ah, well. The one most adaptable to change survives.

Youre a duck-billed platypus!

Please. I’m a dodo.

Thanks. I did receive the job offer today and accepted. Now I just wait on the background check to go through. I'm really excited.

It is strange indeed. And I will never learn the faces of my students due to the mask. I am not good at that in the first place as a general thing and masks don't add to the fun of recognizing them

One of the big shocks I had today was a student I had on Zoom all last year is really short. I had no way to measure on Zoom, so I just assumed she was average height. But no, I’m a head taller than her.

That's awesome--congrats!!!

Or diabetes.

Or a plat-billed duckypuss, like Dame Edna.

Congratulations!

Thanks for this! I'm on about 3 meds (used to be more but anti-psychotics affected my cholesterol and other stuff) and still only partial responses to CPTSD, depression, anxiety disorders... I know this yet... it's painful when other medical providers look at my age in the EHR and ask me to explain why I'm on these meds then start being like "why do you have so many problems for someone so young?"

(don't have regular providers for some stuff so I go to public health clinics and get assigned random doctors/dentists etc)

Woot, whole weekend off without call! Not sure what to do -- I've got some errands to run but most of my time is my own. I'd like to go for a hike somewhere but my parking misadventure from a few weeks ago has made me a little wary -- I'll have to find somewhere. BF is working today, but tomorrow we're going to play video games together and cook a meal together over zoom

Things that baffle me - the point of therapy/what therapists actually do /how to put that little string thingy on my trimmer so that the plastic string comes out while I whack the weeds.

There is probably a lever.

I just like saying "leeeever".