Couch 232: Not Sully!

5 days! That's HUGE!!! Great job Scarlet! Keep up the good work! Very well done!

Oh, was that you, artie?

Boy, i was pretty despondent over the apartment news. Then i realized two things - 1. I can afford the rent increase 2. I can accept a change 3. I could help flip Wyoming 4. I can clean this space 5. I had decreased my dose of prozac last month!!! fortunately i accidentally went back to my full strength (40 mg) this week. I could not BELIEVE how much better i feel now.

Oops, I just realized I better mention this: I didn't mean to sound like I thought of you cuz of her talking a lot. It was that she was funny that made me pretend it was you!

I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better.

Thanks. And i knew that was what you meant! I have an "A" in Reading Comprehension

That's great, Scarlet!

So my neck x-ray actually that I got done a couple days ago actually does show a few things, including one listed as "at least mild to moderate." Basically some (neural foraminal) narrowing/stenosis and spurs, which could be causing my symptoms. I have no idea how much meaning they have, like how common it is for a 44-year-old. Even if it's nothing that unusual, I still feel slightly vindicated. I see the orthopedist Monday, so will see what he says.


But at the end of the report, it recommended an MRI for further evaluation. Take that, insurance company!

Info report: nothing exciting, the black sleeveless top with no cleavage but lots of shoulder. Silver necklace, silver chain with cross, silver chain with wedding ring on it. Didn’t notice earrings. (It was virtual because I screwed up our time and landed myself in a time crunch when I realized.)

She was useful in that I needed to rant and she was smart enough to shut up (mostly) while I did.

I was ranting about yet another ADA accommodation issue I’m having at work. Requested a piece of captioning equipment. The company that provides them needed my school’s building services to install some necessary wall jacks in my office so a tech from the provider could be installed this past Tuesday. Naturally the needed equipment was not installed in time and as the tech travels it will be months before he is back in town and I get the accommodation.

I veer between fury and



I’m eating a stack of gluten free pancakes instead.

In my country, scammers just hang up on answering machines. A good reason to have one!

A useful excuse to have!

"What did the President know and when did he know it?"
"The President was trying to quit smoking that month."

I'm going for a mammogram and thyroid scan tomorrow afternoon... at the normal time I would have been seeing L. Won't that be a fun replacement for a session! Ha.

After work today I did 3 more rounds of the mandala afghan, then went for my evening walk. My goal for the weekend is to get through round 20... that will leave 30 rounds to go! I'll wait to share another pic til after I finish round 20 so it'll be a bigger difference. Maybe I should wait til I finish round 25 cuz that will be halfway.

I swear Info’s last email reads like a poem:

ATAT
Holding the time
Contact to confirm
Mention my name
I will also call
Warmly
Info

(There’s a local therapist who specializes in deaf and hearing impaired issues I’ve wanted to consult with for years but the receptionist always says no openings. I mentioned it to Info in the context of my work issues and ten minutes after our session ended she’d cold-called the other therapist and gotten me an appointment next week.)

I move into my new apartment next week and I have nothing ready. I just posted in the local FB page trying to cough up some cheap furniture from people looking to get rid of some. New job is going pretty well - it's really physical labor but I'm grateful to have a job to pay for the apartment.

speaking of scammers, i fell HARD a few moths ago with a bank scammer. I can’t even go into the details, i’m so ashamed.

also, i am afraid my T doesn’t think I should be in therapy anymore. my depression has been pretty stable for months now, my life is very lonely and boring, so i struggle to talk about stuff.

i recently came out to my T, and she is convinced that me being in a relationship w someone (not necessarily romantic) will be the reason that my self-hatred gets better, or that i will accept my sexuality (which i can’t seem to do). but i can’t see me changing.

i’ve gone 20 years of not changing, and living in the closet so deep i didn’t even realize i could be gay.

so now what do we do? she can’t force me into relationships, and i feel like we are at this stuck point.

i’ve been w her for a little over 6 years, so my history is well-known, so that doesn’t play a huge factor anymore. Like there are various reasons why i am depressed, repressed and full of self-loathing.

so now what? what can i possibly bring to the table? she says she likes seeing me, but it would be weirder if she said she didn’t like seeing me.

she also thinks that coming out of the closet at my own pace would help me feel less alone, but i don’t agree with that.

Hugs, velcro.

Oh, the joys of homework, and it's not mine for once. The middle of the spawn is disgruntled about biology. I did not take biology in college. I can, however, teach him oodles about swearing at Word's stupid formatting issues and then offer help re-formatting. The swearing helps, pretty sure. I get it is covid times and absolutely support professors choosing how to present the material in the middle of a pandemic. AND online biology labs as a Word doc are a pain. Also, referencing page numbers in the actual book doesn't work with the e-text which is causing much storm and stress right here in my living room.

In other news, I had an acupuncture visit today and I feel amazing and completely drained and I can still feel the pressure points along my shoulders. I think the combo of chiro, masage, acupuncture is finally taking the edge off of my Zoom injuries.

Good for you, Art, taking care of your health.

So long as there is a covid lockdown, your best bet might be to PM some of the women on this forum.

I am spending the day trying to find someone to build a wheelchair ramp for my 75lb blind dog. I usually just hoist him up the stairs, but that will soon be impossible for a few months and he literally cannot climb the stairs by himself. He is also a giant tweak and flips out about any change. I am hoping that he will use the ramp after I spend a whacking sum to put it in for him. If he won't use it then we are just effed

So... the website/app Woot! has cheap onesies today of a unicorn or a wolf or a star or other things that some of us might want to check out.... www.woot.com

It was bought out by Amazon a few years ago, so if you have Prime, shipping is free. They are a reliable store, I buy tons of stuff from them. I'm not saying it's going to be something you can pass down to your children, though! Also, they are "one size good most" so will leave out a fair proportion of us but some might want to take a look.

Have a good weekend!

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

I used to use woot a lot until amazon bought it and the deals became not so much deals.

Yeah, the deals aren't so good anymore. The free shipping (because I have Prime) is nice at least.

So I checked the consulting therapist’s rates on her website. Much the same as Info’s, except one line caught my eye:

Concierge counseling

I’m guessing that’s like concierge medicine, where patients can get more individualized attention and more appointments with their doctors, and lots of contact between appointments? No insurance involved.

Whatever it is, it’s $2K/month.

Wow, that's a lot! But I guess it partly depends on what you get? Like could you have 5 sessions a week, phone calls at 1 am, etc.? I mean, if someone had that sort of disposable income (I, for one, do not).

I cannot imagine spending so much time with a therapist that it justified $2000 a month. I hated spending 50 minutes 4 times a month with the woman. To justify $2000 I would have to spend hours daily = the horror

I have a stupid large dog who can't climb stairs and I need hip replacement surgery. I may have to convalesce in a yurt set up in the back yard so he can come to that rather than up the stairs to the house. I have not yet figured out how to do my own surgery (youtube is dropping the ball on this one) so we have some time -but he is only 6 and I doubt I can out wait him. Checking out some alternatives to western medicine as well since I probably will be arrested if I have to deal with them. But the dog situation has me most concerned. He won't use portable dog ramps (I have tried) and I think (because he obviously did not tell me) that either the noise or the feeling under his paws or a combination just freaks him out. Or he could just have some neurological issue that we will never find because of how horrible he does in the car even if drugged to gills with dog tranquilizers - I have to have a mobile vet come and give him shots.