Couch 232: Not Sully!

I'm so sorry Scarlet

Info has discovered cargo pants. Khaki cargos, blue sweater (mild cleavage), silver balletflats.

Plus side: her eyes bugged out of her head in shock when I described Visa’s office setup (the desk and credit card logos).

Minus side: her troubles getting an umbrella delivered are like mine getting accommodations from my school. (I tuned out so as to avoid being offended, so I don’t know where that comparison ended up.)

And I forgot to pay her, which means she was worth every penny today and then some. (No worries, I will mail her the payment tomorrow.)

Yowsa that's tiny!! My eyes could not take that. I can't even see well enough to do thread doilies anymore, let alone these wee things but they are SO adorable! I wonder if I used one of those magnifying-glass-on-a-stand thing to crochet under.... ?

"cool whip" has worked every time I've tried it. It's pretty amazing.

Also, there's really no such thing as looking silly on the couch. Just ask our resident sand dancers.

Welcome to the couch!
I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a pet.

Woo alert:


Today was the first day of the Zoom "shamanic worldview" workshop I'm attending this weekend. I really enjoyed it, took lots of notes, and it was great "meeting" and interacting with my fellow students in the breakout rooms. I shared more today than I did in the last one, kinda surprised myself there. On my walk this evening, I was thinking about everything we talked about today, like how everything is alive and has a spirit, and at one point I felt the need to stop and go back a few steps to pick up a pretty white rock that seemed to call out to me. I held it for a minute or so and listened to what it wanted to tell me and the message was "Remember what you are learning well. Everything is alive... just listen and believe... and when you know this at last, you will also know that you can never be truly alone." Then I thanked it for the message and put it back where I'd picked it up from, and continued on my way. I figured out a lovely almost-2 mile route that goes partly on the walking trail beside the railroad tracks, and partly through the streets of my neighborhood. It's the perfect distance for my evening walks.


Well, I gotta hit the sack... gotta get up early tomorrow, I'm working 5a-9a, then doing the workshop from 9a-12:30p. I decided to do the other 4 hours of my shift on my next day off (Friday) since they let us split up our shifts occasionally as long as it's within the same week. I'm not going to want to work after the workshop ends... my head's kinda in the clouds still now hours after it ended today!


Good night couch!! Or good morning depending on where you are.

Hugs and head nods all around as appropriate.

Welcome to the couch!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Scarlet.

Thank you all for the cool-whip couch welcome!

No dog cried for food tonight. Fruit, our dog who passed, always cried happy cries to be fed. Tonight, there was silence.

I don't want to bring the couch down. I hope you all don't mind me posting. I just feel so alone in this pain, and I feel there's a lot of animal lovers here who can relate.

I'm sorry about your dog, SP. Losing your dog to death is something I'm well versed in and it always sucks. The last one's death, Abby, is why I don't currently have a dog. I, selfishly, couldn't bring myself to euthanize her, but she died anyway. Sometimes the whole "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" thing feels like sore comfort.

Huge hugs if wanted, Scarlet

NP_Complete, I find it completely understandable that you have seemingly strange impulses and complicated desires around your ex. Wanting to see him could be driven by many competing needs. For me, this is what I would want my therapist to explore with me. Your therapist seems way off course with supporting a plan where you would potentially cause legal complication. Your feelings might be complicated, but your therapist should be objective. Your therapist should be crystal clear that your safety is paramount (even if you aren't clear about that).

I agree with this, and I could see myself having a similar impulse. Even though I'd definitely tell anyone else (including you, NP) that it would be a terrible idea. I'd also be concerned that seeing him would trigger you more, like, I don't know, if you saw him through the window and he was there smiling at something. Or what if he sees you?

As Comrade said, I think your T should be talking about this with you and addressing the underlying reasons, but not encouraging you or helping you to make a plan to do so.


All that aside, sending hugs if wanted for the triggers from the show and the session.

I'm sorry for your loss, Scarlet.

I don't have a pet, but I love animals. I get sad when they die or hurt.

This happens with my regular T sometimes too, and it's terrible. I do wonder if a therapist who can do EMDR would help you, even if you only ended up needing like a dozen sessions. They have useful tools for grounding/"resourcing," some of which involve EMDR techniques and some that don't. I think EMDR could help your brain become less reactive to trauma triggers, especially for the single incident stuff. EMDR seems like pseudoscientific nonsense (at least to me!), but it can work astonishingly quickly to smooth down the trauma memories and make them more like regular memories.

Sending hugs again, Scarlet. Please keep posting if it helps you feel less alone in this.

I'm not looking forward at all to dealing with this when we have to make a decision for diabetic cat. He's 14 now and I give him insulin twice a day. He'd been doing pretty well for awhile but he's again starting to have trouble walking and he fell off the couch the other day when he tried to get down, sometimes he looks like he is totally confused, and then his pupils are always huge so i think he can't see very well either. The vet has suggested a specialist and all these invasive tests but I don't want to put him through that at his age. I don't know how his brother will react once he's not around anymore. I worry that no longer having his brother around will hasten his own departure.

Hi Artie, are you regularly checking his blood sugar at home?

In addition, a serum fructosamine test is a simple blood test your vet (not a specialist) should be able to do. Here is a great link explaining it (I know it says canine, but it applies to cats as well, which are mentioned in the article):

FRUCTOSAMINE TESTING – Canine | Glencoe Animal Hospital

It sounds like he is really struggling and needs further evaluation. (I have had 2 diabetic cats and am very familiar in dealing with the complications of diabetes.)

H was really sweet. He bought me a charm that has the dog's pictures. (Fruit is the middle one). He's also letting me get another tattoo to honor the ones who passed.

Aw, that charm is really sweet, Scarlet.

Thanks, Under. We have been doing the fructosamine test around every 3-4 months but he's slightly overdue for one now, I need to make an appointment. I probably should start testing him at home - at least see if he'll let me. We take him in for that too in between the other test. Each time she's tried to raise his insulin based on the result of the fructosamine test, it messes him up, so she puts it back to the 2.5 units twice a day. We've stayed at the 2.5 units twice a day since after the last time she tried to change it to 3. I do wish he could talk even for an hour so he could tell me how bad he feels overall. When he's not in one of these periods of falling down/looking confused, it doesn't appear that anything is bothering him at all, but of course I can't know that. He's sleeping right now, and I was working earlier but h said while he was awake this morning, he seemed back to his old self again. Weird. I'll be watching him close this afternoon after he wakes up again.

That charm is really pretty, and so are the dogs.

Just a thought Artie, when I still had my beloved Esther who had diabetes we had her hospitalized where they could check her blood sugar around the clock and give us the exact amount of insulin she should be getting. The regular vet kept trying to give her too much and the hospitalization helped 1) get her stable, 2) get her enough fluids as she was dehydrated even though she drank like a camel and 3) got us onto the right dosage of insulin. It gave us about another 9 months with her and when it was suggested the next time around her organs were starting to fail and she was much worse off and we decided (I decided) to put her down. I didn't want her suffering anymore. It was the hardest thing I've had to do for a pet but I think it was the right decision. To have her hospitalized for 3 nights and 2 days was around $500 or $550 IIRC so not absurd. It might help you make a decision about your beloved cat. HUGS I know this is hard. HUGS Kit

Scarlet, so sorry about your dog. HUGS Kit

Is it normal to feel okay when grieving? I feel like I should be devastated, crying excessively, etc. Maybe I'm in shock? I am very sad, but I don't feel the extreme high emotions like I did on Saturday. I don't want to disrespect my dog or the loss of her!