Does your therapist use terms of endearment?

Woah! How is that inappropriate? So you think calling someone "Sweetie" is appropriate, but saying "Sweet Scarlet" or "Dear Precious Scarlet" is inappropriate?

This whole thread is about terms of endearment. You don't have to attack my post specifically if you disagree with this topic. I'm not here to fight anyone.

P.S. - Pdoc is a woman

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel Woah! How is that inappropriate? So you think calling someone "Sweetie" is appropriate, but saying "Sweet Scarlet" or "Dear Precious Scarlet" is inappropriate? This whole thread is about terms of endearment. You don't have to attack my post specifically if you disagree with this topic. I'm not here to fight anyone. P.S. - Pdoc is a woman

I’m so sorry! I was not attacking you or your post. I guess I let my female empowerment get the best of me.

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It's okay. I got defensive too.

L asked if it was okay to use the adjectives with me, and I agreed. I like them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel It's okay. I got defensive too. L asked if it was okay to use the adjectives with me, and I agreed. I like them.

Again my apologies. I’m not a
Mean person

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Pdoc does and always has as it is a normal part of her communication style. She also easily moves between using my full first name and the shortened version I go by with friends.
T doesn’t and I can’t imagine him ever doing it. We haven’t talked about it but I think for him it would make it hard for him to stay in his role as therapist if he used terms of endearment or the shorter version of my name. He regularly tells me that he loves me, uses very nurturing vocal inflections and will hug me. At this point with him saying he loves me and all the ways he will show care through touch I think it would freak me out if he called me hun or sweetie. And… if given the choice I will gladly take the physical demonstration of care over terms of endearment. I would be totally OK if he used the shortened version of my name.
Art T… we are still pretty early in our journey together. She has not used a term of endearment with me but it wouldn’t shock me if she did. I do think it would bug me a little as it would feel more demeaning coming from her than it does when Pdoc does it. Now that I am pondering though… I may see if she would be open to using the shortened version of my name. As playful and sisterly as she is when she isn’t deep diving the short version of my name may be more fitting.

Madame T called me "sweetheart" once, but that was sarcasm.

I’m pretty sure my last therapist was nothing but a walking cluster**** of sarcasm who gave zero shits.

No, but my psychiatrist does sometimes call me dear, (she is a lot older than me (she's in her 60's, I'm 27), I don't mind it

Omers, is the shortened version of your name not common? Have you asked your T to call you that or does it not matter to you?

My T started out calling me my birthname. After a few appointments I asked her to call me by the shortened version of my name because it was bothering me. I had referred to my nickname but had not asked her to use it so she did not assume. She happily obliged bexause the only time my full name was used is when people are angry. She used my full name a couple of times after that. I quickly said my nickname..we both laughed but she got it.

My name is not particularly common so I don’t know if the shortened version is common among those with my name or not. I have only met two other people with my name, both males and both significantly younger than me. I have not asked T to use the shortened version of my name. My last T just did, then caught herself and asked. Most of my T’s have just used it. It isn’t a big deal to me with T as he tends to be very formal despite being very warm and approachable. It might be a bigger deal with me and art T though… I think with her style my shortened name just fits better… then we will see how they work it out when they meet and/or all three of us are in a room together.
Honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if using formal names isn’t a way my T keeps the therapeutic space and would be a boundary unless a client was adamant.

No, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. Interesting note though ; I’m a family practice physician assistant and some of my older patients have used endearments and that doesn’t bother me at all, if I have a well established relationship with them.

Never.

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